In another thread someone mentioned that a large number of men have, at one point or another, cheated on their partner and then have gone and remain unpunished.
Now, I don’t know how accurate this statement is. It may well be entirely true. What I want to know is, what would you think of a man that had cheated on his wife? Would you believe that he has no respect for his partner or would you delve further into his psyche and consider that he has no respect for himself?
I have thought about this at some length and can’t get over the idea that any man that would in any way “cheat” or be “unfaithful” has got to be someone that has absolutely no respect for himself, let alone the spouse.
Unfortunately, many folks harp on how badly this man is treating his wife when in actuality they should focus on how badly he is treating himself!
Looks there are so many reasons why a man or woman for tht matter would cheat.
One of them could be simply for the thrill of it...in that case I'd feel no pity, I'd stone the man.
If he's being deprived of a love of a wife then I'd understand..a little...still wrong but I'd understand.
If he's just an insecure pup who needs more attention and wants to be loved more and all that..then he needs therapy, no excuse to cheat on your partner.
Everyone has their own definition of cheating. I think ppl who cheat, more often than not, have deeper issues. Some of them r going thru an awkward time in their lives. I don’t think cheating is a good thing at all, but there r two sides to every story and no one is perfect. Humans make mistakes, and in some cases, mistakes shud be forgiven. If a man had cheated on his wife wud i believe he has no respect for his wife? Not necessarily. It depends on the situation. Maybe he didn’t when he was in that brief idiotic state of mind. As far as having respect for himself, yes i wud think somewhere along the line, he had lost self-respect. So yes, when cheating on his wife that is considered treating her badly…BUT he is also treating himself badly in a way too.
I watched this Oprah show on unfaithful men, and about 10 men told the explicit truth about how and why they cheated. They agreed that 99% of married men have been unfaithful at one stage or another, and its largely out of boredom, the excitement and passion they crave. I do agree that it is their immaturity as well as lack of self-respect and respect for their wives,
I am all for womens lib and equal rights for women, and am 100% against, the atrocities commited against women the world over, and have voiced my opinions many a times just to be snubbed and called a “Mod Muslim” (No Pun Intended).
Now coming back to your post, Having agreed that women are the victims 100% in rape issues, eve teasing, ogling, etc etc.
In the case of Extra Marital Affairs, if 99% men confess to it, pray can you tell me who do they have this affairs with???, Remember we are talking about an affair, cheating on spouses etc, and not something that is done forcefully!!!.
In an affair, I would say both parties are equally responsible and should be blamed accordingly, you cannot single out the Male, specially in this type of cases.
Marriage is a commitment which a lot of people, especially men, don't think through when they get into it. You ask any guy in his early twenties if he is ready for marriage, you will find most of them are more than ready. Have these men 'lived' their lives at that age? No, most guys haven't...his wife is the first woman his parents found him and he accepted. As you grow and get to know the opposite gender, your likes and dislikes get defined, hence you 'experiment'...which in other words is cheating for a married man. It is a psychology question for wives which they have to step back and comprehend. The set of ethics and morals set by the society (or women :-D) go against the very nature of the beast(man).
I'll be honest and politically incorrect, but I think those men who follow through with their marriages should be given some credit. Minor issues and incidents should be overlooked to keep the sanity intact.
^ On the contrary, it's been my experience that young men who are fond of "experimentation" start early and are least likely to settle down and get married in their 20's. They usually have their fun and then when they hit 30-35, they finally hook up with poor unsuspecting girl their parents find them.
There are all kinds of cases. However, in our culture the trend is to get married early. People who get caught are the ones who perceive to have missed out on the experimentation. People who understand the opposite gender are not 'fond' of experimentation after marriage...they divorce & remarry.
Let me ask you guys another question. What if its the wife who cheats should we feel sorry for her as well?
skhan that might be true for some cases but not all. I think if someone is your high school sweet heart and that relationship goes on until they have settled in their career. I strongly believe that relationship do last for a long time. People who do get married in their early 20s don't even know themselves and they get busy with other people. The key is to find yourself first before you share yourself with another person.
You know I really wouldn’t go by these daytime talk shows. What these immoral men ‘agreed’ to is their opinion based on their immoral lifestyle. 99% is total crock. These guys were picked for the show cos they cheated so its inevitable their views would be the same. Plenty of guys love and respect their partners enough to never have an affair or let their testosterone get the better of them at the advances of an attractive woman.
A man who cheats doesnt lack self-respect, but lacks respect for his spouse.
A woman who cheats lacks both self-respect and respect for her spouse.
why?
Because, society teaches us to look down upon men (geeks, nerd) who cannot score, and women (slut, whore) who do. It's a blatant double-standard.
Reminder: self-respect is not a monolithic universal concept, but a loose, fluid one and is dependent upon how society defines it.
