I am so disrespectful and selfish towards my parents/siblings. I realize that but somehow i cant seem to change it. It has been going on for years. My parents/siblings that cater to me the most, I tend to lash out more at them. I later realize that 1)i’m mean to them and 2) they’ve done more for for me than i have for them. Despite realizing that, when i’m in the moment i still tend to disrespect/say harsh things/am not as nice. Maybe its because they’re too nice and i know i can get away with it? But that makes me a horrible person.
By level of disrespect/selfishness i dont mean i’m cursing my parents out. For example if i ask my dad to get gas for my car, he’ll happily do it, but if he asks me to drive and grab milk from 7/11 this one time, i’ll get annoyed and say no can u send my brother instead.
i dont do any chores around the house, because i’m busy “studying” while half the time i’m busy watching shows/movies on my laptop.
i get into so many fights/arguments with my mom because i think i’m angry at my own life (for my own screw-ups).
anyway the point of this thread, is if someone can give me advice on how to become a nicer person towards my family. My family is one of my most valued blessings and i realize that but i dont want to be ungreatful by letting my selfishness get the better of me.
The hardest people to love are the ones you purport to love the most. No matter how practiced and spiritual you may be, it is difficult to apply the dharma to anything that involves intimate relationships. Working skillfully with feelings of neglect, dismissal, suffocation, or anger is not easy and challenges our ability to be non-judgmental, compassionate, and kind. Interestingly, the Buddhadharma offers counsel that is surprisingly relevant, modern, and pragmatic.
Use books to develop the skills to tame the ego which wreaks havoc in our lives at times. It’s the shaitan that does that to us. Do Duroods, discover Islam, look at other great teachings to tame the ego. Try also reading Eckhart Tolle.
You could use the attitude you have towards your parents and siblings towards other people.
You will see that the outsiders wont put up with it and they will put you back in place. That way you will realize that no matter what you do, your close family will still love you, while outsiders will throw you away just like it. And thus that your family deserves so much better.
wow. even i am like that sometimes. :( i love my family so much but i tend to be mean to them sometimes. like when my mum will tell me to help her in cooking, ill make a face cuz ill be busy studying or just lazy :( but ill feel bad but make it up to her in another way by sweeping the house, for example.
There is no Jannah without respect to parents...make your parents happier, inshallah allah will be happy with you...the duas your parents make for you are worth more than billions...remember shaitan wants you to go to hell and wants you to disrespect your parents...if you are not respectful to your parents, you have no self-respect...being disrespectful to your parents means your own kids will give it back to you one day...
Well..i am glad to read that..you do realize that disrespecting parents isn't good. It does seem like ya some sort of anger issue. I say...do the right thing. For instance...when parents are nice to you..be more good.
Well..i am glad to read that..you do realize that disrespecting parents isn't good.
Agreed. She has taken the first and the biggest step forward, that is, realizing her faults and wanting to fix them. Most of us do similar, or worse stuff, yet we dont even consider it to be wrong, and go about our day as if its normal.
