when your wedding is snatched from you by someone who creates poison in the heart of the person who comes after you and then leaves you, what do you do: You do nothing except take care of the true affection that you accorded someone who is made incapable of seeing that accorded respect, as nothing.
you wish that person well.
you remain true to your value of honesty and truthfulness to yourself and others.
you take the treatment as the best that the other person could offer you, after all the claims were made by that person.
you draw your self closer to Allah swt, and your loved ones - parents and siblings and nieces and nephews and grand parents
you busy you self in your work and do good work
you make sure that you will forego the person so that you are not holding that person back at all in experiencing her/his preferred or forced other choice/s
if that person will come back ever, you treat with kindness as your heart is clear
you never ever do the same to anyone else, in fact, do all you can to warn others of such behavior
you must thank your God that God did not make you so arrogant and absolutely uncaring that you would do the same to someone else
be true to your own words
don’t hide your sadness or disappointment but don’t feel despondent
make use of your lifetime at the present, by not looking for any excuses for the behavior of the other person or her/his motives or intentions, as they are all clear since s/he showed them to be, unless s/he is hiding something..
& in doing so, s/he is causing more harm to her/himself, (which to a caring rejected person will cause hurt of itself for her/his hurt)
you can only always be there for her/ him and s/he will know that you are and were so right
but you don’t have to beg for her/him to realize that what s/he has lost now and what s/he is getting himself into instead
let the person go, who came on her/his own the first time, and could not stay
this will enable her/ him to learn to stay put where ever s/he went and not repeat their huge blunder
you never hold back you feelings of truthful self-disclosure from care to warning towards that same person…for that person’s own good
you must find peace in this closure that you must do justice with your accorded regard to the other person who degraded and ignored it since her / his family could not respect you, or s/he did not respect you & that, it is their choice which is fine
without begrudging the person who hurt you, keep yourself content in the
thought that you are not the one who acted dishonestly.
what else can you do, share if you like?
best,
Dushwari
