As I have my brother in laws wedding this summer I am already stressing. First because I am not Pakistani and don't know what the customs are. Secondly, being the sister in law I think I will be involved in almost all activities directly, first-hand and I want everything to go smoothly.
Also can anyone tell me how much is normally given to the bride in terms of jewelry, clothes, etc.
I need some help so please respond.
Thanks!
Alabeena
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Originally posted by Hinna:
Nowadays, there's the engagement, the bridal shower, the mehndi then the nikkah and lastly, the walima. Most of these events are not simple, rather they are extravegent and extremely expensive.
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hinna it depends on people. if people are not able to afford them, they will not arrange them.
I think this is a right of every person to celebrate and share good moments with friends and family. all religions have days for celebrations, and all prophets asked to celebrate these days. (to their followers)
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where did all this other crap (there's the engagement, the bridal shower, the mehndi) come from??
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pakistan is located in heart of south asia. it is a bridge between south asia and central asia. one of the oldest civilizations flourished here.
This is the reason, Pakistan is rich in cultural activities.
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Originally posted by Hinna:
Munni..you're definitely right...we've somehow picked up hindu traditions..ie mehndi rasams. We've also picked up western ideas of the engagement and bridal showers. What's up with that??? Shouldn't we be instilling our Islamic traditions instead?
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Pakistani marriages are different from indian marriages.
hindu ppl have their own traditions and these traditions are also different in every hindu caste.
gujrati ppl have thier own traditions, while sardar ppl have their own. marwari have thier own and marathi have their own.
Pakistani marriages are celebrated in islamic and in pakistani ways. rasam-a-hinna(mahendi) is very old in Pakistan.
Also Pakistani marriage has it's unique ways for recongnization.
Pakistani and western marriage are totally different.
Yes I am agree, there are many things that are same in every part of the world, in the east and in the west, in south and in north,
but we can easily recognize pakistani marriage ceremony.
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I recently helped one of my friends with her wedding...although it was just the nikkah and walima.
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very good. nice to hear this.
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Originally posted by Tube Runner:
**If religion is there to guide us, how come we always run in the opposite direction?
**
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Care to elaborate?
While it is clear that some traditions have been inherited from other cultures we also need to realise that marriages the way they are performed in most Islamic countries are not Islamic in nature. Rituals in other religions are also strongly influenced by non-religious factors. The important thing is to understand what our religion requires and know that if we are doing something more that is our choice.
I like the Idea
"chat mangani, pat wiah"
To elaborate on Shirin's post, in my view the only thing islamic about our weddings is the (1) Nikkah and (2) Valima.
The rest are all cultural traditions. I am sure arabs marry in a different manner, and africans must have their own traditions, and those muslims in the west marry in their own unique way. Similarly muslims in sub-continent have their own traditions. Don't make any of them right or wrong... just that they are there and probably, all of them are unique in their own way.
Allah has given muslims the Quran as a guidance, but that doesn't mean that muslims stop using their head! I've heard the comment "Stop acting like infidels" from a lot of people. Well, some infidels i know give to charity, are kind to everyone and show genuine care and genorosity to all. SO what, should i stop doing that too.
As far as weddings are concerned, they are a moment of happiness. Different people celebrate it in different ways. The only bad thing is that all that money spent can go to somebody needy.
Please think about this, Islam is a religion of peace and love, not of hatred and harshness.
abhi tho main jawaaaaan houn
So what's more important, our religious customs or our cultural customs?
- "Allah extends His Hand at night so that He can forgive the sinner of the day; He extends His Hand in the day so that He can forgive the sinner of the night. He will continue to do so until the sun rises from the West (the Day of Judgment)"
[Related by Imam Muslim]
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