I know it would be easy to discuss puberty with my daughter when the time comes, but who does the talk with the son? Should it be me or my husband? I discussed it with my husband and he just rolled his eyes at me and then carried on with his work on the computer!
Considering the son is actually closer to me and pretty much shares everything with me, would he be less embarrased if I did the talk? He is 12 and I suppose he has covered the whole thing in school which saved us from explaining the whole nitty gritty , but obviously we want him to have the islamic perpective too. What would you suggest??
Re: Discussing Puberty
what’s the islamic perspective on puberty? 
u mean about sex and dating and stuff?
Re: Discussing Puberty
Please save your son the embarrassment, if he's smart enough he'll know what there is to know anyway. And yeah what exactly is the Islamic perspective?
Re: Discussing Puberty
As a muslim parent it is our duty to explain certain things to our children. For example a boy should be explained that if he has a sexual dream then he needs to have a shower (ghusl) before namaaz. I think it can be father or mother whoever is more comfortable. The following link is helpful. Maybe you can ask your son to read it.Preparing for puberty
Re: Discussing Puberty
I know it can be very embarrassing for the child and sometimes even traumatic. I myself would find it totally awkward and am not sure if I even want to do the explaining. Thats why I asked for advice. A Lady at a dars mentioned what Mona Nisa is saying that it is our duty as muslims, hence the question...
Thanks Mona Nisa for the link. Actually this is a great idea. I will find some well written articles on the internet and maybe let the son read them. It sure will save the embarrassment all around.
Re: Discussing Puberty
I have this book for boys, I plan to give it to my son (when he's old enough) to read it. I think it's usually fathers' job but if he's close enough to you then you can just give him some good stuff to read.
I'll find the link for that Islamic book for boys if you're interested. There are plenty of good books on this topic but it's better if you study them before handing it over to your son, sometimes non-muslim authors have different view on certain issues, for example, I have this book on child development and the author has clearly encouraged masturbation in a chapter.
Re: Discussing Puberty
^ thanks hareem, yes do pass me the details of that book. I think generally its hard to find a well written book on islam for kids.
Re: Discussing Puberty
I think you should explain it at home, in the way you feel comfortable, at school it's just 'here's some protection, have fun'. My parents discussed it with me ( the 'islamic perspective') before my school got to it so that I knew what was acceptable and what wasn't.
I'm sure a book would be awesome but do have a conversation as well, in case the kids have any questions.
Good luck :)
Re: Discussing Puberty
I'm sure a book would be awesome but do have a conversation as well, in case the kids have any questions. Good luck :)
Yes, that seems to be the most sensible option. Thanks
Re: Discussing Puberty
Hello again MissFreudian,
The title of the book is "A Muslim Boy's Guide to Life's Big Changes" by Sami Khan. It's by Ta-Ha Publishers and they have similar book for girls as well.
It's recommended for ages 10-15.
I think it's an excellent book for muslim boys to read, it talks about the changes in body as well as about purification of body and mind in details.
Re: Discussing Puberty
plz make sure it is the father hu talks i guess!! n besides this discussion try to built friendship bt father n son...coz that is sOOo much important in a guy's life!!
parents shud tell evry thing b4 the kids learn it from outside .. (n warn from bad ones)
Re: Discussing Puberty
I never got a talk. If he's a shareef larka, he'll be well off without anybody needing to tell him.
If not.. the book is a good idea.