Today I got into a disagreement with a friend of mine, he is non-muslim.
He started by saying, “how can you believe in a religion that doesnt allow freedom for women, where God asks you to fear Him, etc…” Then he stated that its stupid to believe in such.
I think its disrespectful to call my beliefs stupid. He apologized for calling it stupid, but still insisted on the other points.
Now my question is, is it best to avoid discussing religion altogether? Or should I try and explain my beliefs over and over? I am labelled as defensive when I do that, by this person, so I really dont know what to do. He is a dear friend of mine, but I cant take much more of this. I have suggested we not discuss religion but then he insists he wants to know more about it, but then we end up like stated above. sigh
Munni, your friend is an idiot. that was wrong for him to say. period!
There are also, people who will claim, this is a complete relegion or there is no god but one god..etc. take it with a grain of salt. While it is fine for someone to have faith, such absolutes are quite illogical.
Tell him, its a free world. He is free to believe what he wants, and you have the same right. As long as either of you are not insulting each other, it should be ok. If, he really wants to get into nitty gritty of parts of faith and Islamic practices, he is more than welcome. If you feel confident enough about your own knowledge about them, fine, else refer him to someone who does.
Muni, one of my work mate was going on about how Indian’s marry girls young at the age of 15 etc, that really pissed me off, even though i’m not a Indian, so I said wat bout u lot, girls get pregnant at the age of 12, half of the time they don’t have a clue who the father is, so he said " ur stereotyping"
Tell him, if he really wants to learn more, then he should ask his questions as long as they aren't disrespectful to you, or the religion. Let him know how you feel about his lack of respect whenever religion is being discussed. If things do continue in this manner, then I think it would be best to not discuss religion with that person at all.
Chaltahai, I agree it wasnt right for him to say that. However, regarding religions being absolute, I think thats a private decision people make, and if they think that way, so be it. They shouldnt force that position onto anyone, but they have just as much right to believe it, as others have a right to believe the opposite.
Faisal, I may not know a lot, but I know enough to be able to explain to others. I have tried explaining things to him on several occassions but his logic is that "well saudi arabia does that so it must be true". How can I I answer such statements? I have also told him its best not to discuss with me, to ask someone more knowledgable, but he says he likes to hear it from me. sighz
Sofina, kya kahouN.
Fret, I've told him several times. I think I am going to stop discussing it with him. I didnt want it to come to this. I just dont know what else to do.
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*Originally posted by Munni: *
Any suggestions?
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First of all ask him to respect what you believe in, if he wishes to have any further discussions. Friends don't run-down each other simply because they don't share beliefs. If he insists on being adamant, stop short. His only purpose is to hurt you.
Next stay calm. It is quite natural to get emotional, and often defensive, when confronted with questions about religion. Remember how many lives have been lost through out the history of humankind on the grounds of religion.
Be honest. if you don't know the appropriate answers to his questions, don't fumble with ones that sound like half-truths. Simply tell him you cannot answer that question effectively and refer him to a website or some other source material. Not everyone is cut out to be a debating theologian.
Respect his right to question. Remember his questioning could help YOU understand your own faith better.
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*Originally posted by Chaltahai: *
.... While it is fine for someone to have faith, such absolutes are quite illogical.
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If there exists only one absolute truth on theories of gravity, magnetism, electricity, life, etc., why is it so illogical to believe in the absolute truth of one God, the grand designer of these and other infinite realities of the physical universe?
The questions he asks are usually quite basic, so I am able to answer him with whatever knowledge I have, and sometimes I go into detail, which sometimes results in him getting confused. Maybe I dont explain it well enough, or maybe I start getting too emotional, I dont know. But I do tell him then that its best to discuss with another if I am not doing a good job, but he refuses and says I do a good job and thats why he likes to talk to me, cause im supposedly "rational". I simply dont understand what the motive is when I am supposedly rational and then he refuses to try and understand what I say. sighz
On top of this, my other friend who is Ahmedi(the one I posted about earlier) was going on about his beliefs and I was listening and then kept asking me why I dont believe when there are all the proofs he presented, which to me were not proofs, but he felt I should believe based on those things, and felt I was being silly for not accepting them. Why be so adamant if the other person doesnt agree with you? Dont I have a choice in the matter? Cant I just hear what you have to say and agree to disagree? sighz
