Ok bear with me..
Ever since i was younger my parents have been firm in discipline but some parts now when i look back I think what were they thinking.
Espacially when it came to accepting blame. For example if the next door neighbour came and said i saw your kid throw a ball into our window. My parents would say "oh we are sorry, We'll take care of it" When the neigbour would leave I would say "but i didn't do it" and they will say "yes we know" but there is no point arguing.
This pattern remained the same and I got blamed for bigger and better things when I would tell my parents. They would say "do u expect us to argue/fight over it with someone who has just visited our house." Meaning we cannot insult someone who is a visitor to this house.
So when similar things occurred when we visited peoples houses "my parents would say do u expect us to start an argument in this other persons house"
Therefore I became an easier target for family friends, family etc, because they knew my parents would accept the blame.
Throughout my life I felt cheated, coz sometimes when I had my parents as witnesses they would not stand up for me. There excuse was you should always diffuse the situation not argue etc
I look back and I see how this has and is still damaging me. But now I think maybe this is the norm.
Any comments.
That was so wrong. I know and can understand that. They did very bad to you. See it did so much impact to you even you are asking after many years. Sometime ppl do things and it ipacts on our whole life.
Yes I can understand it very well. As I have been throuth this situation. Some ppl who are very good and quiet and simle aka fool beome easy target for bad wisher and if your parents don't listen and rescue you that becomes wrost.
As I was totally not that type of person ppl accused me of things which I couldn't do even in my dreams. I sabar on all accusations never said a single thing but it still hurts when I think about those liars but what I do pray for them and ask forgiveness from Allah for them.
When you become incompatible with someones kids they become jealous so they use those tactics to let you down. But you know what Jissay Allah izzat day ussay kon neecha dikha sakta hai.
You must be incompatible for those ppls kids and quiet and nice person. I mean way lot better than their kids.
As no one's kid was compatible with me even in relatives by looks and education and results (education). So yeah that was the thing so I knew as I use to tell my mom why do you compare me to those you can't even come close to me. Funny thing is my parents and especially mom use to give example of those who were incompatible with me lol. I use to fight back and tell how could you say that to me. If you want to give me example who are at least better than me in one thing. You know but nothing stops her.
Then I started to say what bad things they use to do which my mom didn't like. I use to ask do you want to follow him/her then I would follow everything what he/she does. lol That was the only way to keep her quiet for few day.
I knew that I was way more genius then them.
So what your parents did was so wront. So very wrong. They have at least told them politely that my buchcha couldn't do that I know my buchcha.
You won't believe 3 days ago I went through that situation. One of my sibling was saying thigs about one of my family member over the phone and I was on speaker phone and the person he/she was saying about the person was listening and start crying. And he/she was comparing that person to a dumb person so incompatable and when he/she said he might about keep your family member as assitant. That was so very wrong. To not to argue I said what he/she wanted to listen to end the conversation. He was compraing me and my family member to my other sibling who are so incopatible with me. He/she knows that very well too.
Later I told my family member that don't cry and he/she said you were saying what he/she said. I said I know you very well. I know whom he/she comparing with so very incopatible to you so don't worry. Let ppl say what they want to say. It won't affect you neither would make genius to those who are incompatible to you.
I have taught all my family members and siblings kids. Who would know better than me. Which one is best.
He/she might be taking anger out in different way. As I don't contact him/her.
So don't worry be happy. If you are good no one make you bad. Parents can do mistakes too. You don't do that when you become parent. Always take your kids side when they don't do anything wrong. When not sure then use the way that won't hurt your kid.