Discipline or abuse?

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This is a synopsis of Dr. Phil’s show that is going to be aired on May 16th

Is physical punishment a necessary form of discipline or child abuse? First up, Monica says her five children bite, kick and talk back, and she often has to resort to beatings with a belt. Monica admits she made her four oldest children miss meals and tied their hands together until they learned to like each other. Her husband, Marshall, says Monica disciplines in anger and admits that he also hits their children out of frustration. Renowned pediatrician Dr. Jim Sears says what Monica is doing is not discipline, but abuse.

I give it a crap. I was beaten quite often as a child by my mom and I think I am more OK than some goofiest characters who are roaming the streets of USA.

Parents to discipline their kids, is very important, and if it requires some spanking or asking them to leave the dinner table, so be it.

I understand that some crazy parents cross the boundary and abuse the kids, but that is exception.

No wonder American society at family level is heading towards a disaster.

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Re: Discipline or abuse?

tlk, you have to be careful here in USA. Or end up answering the door to Child Protective Services. I see nothing wrong with the rare and occasional smack on the butt but tying hands together ,missing meals and beating with a belt isnt acceptable. Beating in anger isnt acceptable either. These things will warrant a visit from CPS if they are found out.

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Re: Discipline or abuse?

:D No I never have beaten my daughters and I agree with the belt part .. but did you see what Monica's kids are up to?

And MO3, when you ask the kids to leave the table, its for them to think what they did wrong ... is it really abuse?

Ok , let me ask you, if you have to deal with kids like Monica's, what would be your strategy?

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Re: Discipline or abuse?

When any kind of misbehavior happens, the kid has to suffer a consequence. One that wakes them up. Things got out of hand at Monica's place it seems. So whats important to her kids? Say its video games. A kid bites or kicks or otherwise acts out....ok, NO VIDEO GAMES for the rest of the day. You have to figure out whats important, let them know that if misbehavior occurs, their important thing will go away and then FOLLOW THRU. They do it AGAIN, they lose it for a week. If they STILL persist, remove the next important thing. There should always be consequences. But they dont have to be physical ones. Actually, when children are disciplined with physical consequences, that makes it seem to the child that violence is the way to deal with anger and/or frustration. At least, thats what I always read and thats what the schools talk about. Makes sense to me. Even so, I HAVE smacked my boyz upon the rare occasion when nothing else seemed to work.

ps I think "supernanny" has MUCH better views than Dr Phil!

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One in bold makes sense .. I think that is the right thing to do

The common trait that I notice ... for most of the times .. rowdy kids are the product of un-disciplined parents .. Familes with no values whatsoever, Parents are either not married to each other or just dont care and to much into beer ... mom's cursing a lot ... fights amongst parents ...

all that leads to rowdy kids as well as over frustrated parents .. and they take thier anger out on kids ..

so it becomes a 2 way street or a double edge swords ..

LOL @ supernany

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You THINK ,Your thinking does not count , we need to interview people around you . The testimony of Niki will not count. :D

There are many many non violent ways of disciplining kids and they work. Contact punishment leave a permanent trauma and scars the personality of kids.

Those crazy parents are the reason behind most criminals turning out the way they did.

It is a baseless generalization. Any data to support that American Society at family level is heading towards disaster ?

All the behaviors of the kids are learned they are not born with it. From the day one these monsters of a parents must be abusing these kids that is why these kids are behaving the way they are.
It is the excuse given by these monstrous parents for their abusive behavior. I am sure that some spousal abuse and bickering have been going on in the family and the kids learned all this bad behavior from their parents.

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:D I saw that comment coming .. but from you my friend ? That was least expected .. Now I am depressed

and yes, I apolgize about the last statement of my first post .. that was a rude generalization

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ok some of us really need to watch a couple episodes of "Supernanny"....

These are lovely, caring mothers and fathers for the most part. They just need guidance on how to handle problem behaviors which ALL children experiment with. Experiments can turn them into little monsters when not addressed properly, no matter HOW good or bad the parents as people are!

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Re: Discipline or abuse?

Agar loose ball phainko gay tow koi bhee chaka maar day ga.:)

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Ok, I will watch it ... but just for the records .. I am blesed to have wonderful kids.. so alhamdulillah , that is not the problem in our family .. was just talking in general

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Shukar Alhumdulillah. And May Allah keep them that way. Ameen.
I have so wonderfull kids that anywhere they go they are praised for their good behavior.
The other day their mamoon in CA said "Mashallah your kids are wonderfull , well behaved and well mannered."
I said it is too much work to keep them that way lihaza "aap rakh lain inko."

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Sheeeeeeesh . .dont praise your kids too much .. .otherwise people will start a thread about the "Etiquettes of parising your kids, online" .. then

Most Eligible Bachelorette !
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^ :cb:

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Hitting a child is counter productive, it'll only make him/her more stubborn/dheet.

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:omg:
:omg:
:omg:

Question for the ladizz
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:rotfl: :rotfl:

as for the thread… I hear ya brother…

but too much of scolding can make you ziddi (which you are :p) and in some cases can cause complex of inferiority. So. there should be a balance.

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:omg::rotfl:

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Just like you:chai:

If this is true then Veena Malik should be banned in Pakistan.