To all you parents out there...
Being a non-parent (who would love to be one, Inshallah), I am curious to know what you do if you are being undermined while disciplining your child?
Say you're at a family gathering and junior does something way out of line. You are trying to discipline him. Grandparents/aunts/uncles/cousins/etc. are interfering...telling you that "he's just a kid, let it go" or even physically pulling him away from you so that you can't scold him/give him time out/whatever method of discipline you're using.
How do you cope with this type of interference in a way that gets your child back in line and gives the least amount of offense to the interfering, albeit well-meaning, relative?
Hmm, this is a tricky one.
1) Discuss ground rules before going to the gathering. Tell the children what behavior you expect to see and also discuss non-examples. Also, let the children know that while they should respect and listen to other elders...that you...as the PARENT...need to be obeyed when you give orders....that way the child knows that YOU are the ultimately the boss (not the relos. Can even discuss how to communicate (eye contact, no screaming, using words, etc)...to prevent a scene from taking place.
2) When the guests get busy with something....talk to Junior privately about his misbehavior. It'll be less embarrassing for Junior.......relatives are busy going about their things and can't get involved......so it's less awkward for you.
3) At the beginning of the party, if you see Junior behaving really well....PRAISE him. Praise him in front of others.....maybe they'll join in too. This way Junior knows that good behavior is appreciated.....he'll be more motivated to keep it up.....and he'll look for intrinsic rewards as well as opposed to only extrinsic reward such as candy, etc.
4) Try to be discreet as possible (not make it obvious). Call Junior over...have him sit next to you...and whisper/remind him of the rules. If the relatives can't hear your discussion....they may be less likely to get involved.
5) Redirection. Redirect Junior toward something else.......another game/activity/an errand perhaps.
6) It may help if you also have the support of your spouse as well.
I'm not a parent. But I tried my best....this is what came to mind.
