Random girl,
Despite a lot of insults, false accusations and threats from her dad while he was having a fit(he is mentally unstable), me and my family were willing to accept the girl because we thought that she should not be held responsible for her dad's actions. For that matter, I remained patient for months in order to convince her to move on but she kept sowing more hatred for my family in her heartand never discussed things in order to clear doubts or concerns.How can one live with such an attitude? I can't even sleep well if I have such things in my heart?
Her major issue is that she cannot overcome negative perceptions she has built for other people. She will never confirm if or check what the other persons intentions were but simply accuse them in her heart until it comes to a point that no explainations or clarifications have any effect. I wish she appreciated the family and love of parents and others she had not experienced, but from her actions, it almost feels like she has lost trust in the world and might also believe that love does not exist. I have never heard from her if she likes any single person in her circle of life, not even her own siblings.
I was in denial for the longest time that she will be delighted to be part of a well knit, happy and loving family where people are there for you at all times.
I cannot tell if she will ever change. I wish I knew her that well.
I cannot accept her the way she is. My jannah are my parents and how can I even distance myself from them when they are innocent like a new born in this whole affair.
She is barely 24, very protected throughout life and has no real life experience of the world. One other reason I did not want to divorce because I felt bad for her. It might be too late when she realizes what shes been asking for. Unfortunately, she lost her mom at a young age and does not even remember her as much. Dad came from a different mindset and couldn't give that motherly love to her so she almost never learnt some essential lessons of life from anyone.
What shall I do? I pray to Allah in every Salah to show me right path and take away whats not good for me.
Thank you for reading.
Hi, so is she basically telling you to leave your family for her?
I am not married, but the way i see it, girls do and can change after marriage, but it all depends on the girl. Is she willing to compromise? As there are girls out there, who are lets say 'not kind hearted or even not very nice' not willing to listen, not willing to accept her husbands side of family no matter how they are. While others do all they can do make her in laws happy.
Basically my point is, from however long you have known her, in your heart, can you accept her they way she is? Do you think she can change? If you don't mind me asking how old is she?
For months your life was at standstill as was hers. Then she says she wants a divorce, and then she changes her mind. Then she tells you to leave your family? Do you think her family are have any influence on her decision?
I think its either she is jealous of the r/ship you have with your family something maybe she has never experienced and maybe longs for?, however is that not a good thing on her behalf? she is lucky enough to have a family like yours as her in laws. She should thank allah, and do what she can to make her new family happy. Or she can be one of those girls who doesnt like her in laws and will not change.
I think it really is up to you to think about what kind of person she is, and then see if you can accept her or not.
I hope that made sense!