Now he has raised this issue with the girl and she has admitted her past and has stated that she has moved on and went to umraa the previous year and all the wrongs are now past her.
What should this friend do as the friend she had previously slept with is still pretty much in his life. For once I honestly don’t know what advice to give him.
One final note he is a pretty religious person and he did state that he would refer the matter to his maulvi/sheikh as to the decision to take, they normally do istikhara or something I think.
Thanks
The decision is pretty simple. He should not go any forward with the girl. Its not about her past or her current character. Even if she reverted back and now a nice girl, it will socially be very hard for the guy to marry her while the other friend (whom she slept with) is still hanging around.
he should talk to that girl and let her know in very respectful manner that he is finding it every hard to move forward in this relationship and its not because of her past but social awkwardness. I am sure she will understand.
Can i jus say from a non islamic point of view. Jus because you've slept with someone does NOT mean your not trustworthy etc. And it wud NOT cause problems in marriage if you both were not virgins. The only reason why its a problem is because he knows the guy simple. And just because she slept with some one or a few people its no big deal It happens everday. So theres no need for comments like ''Sleep with her and pass the parcel'' Its pathetic. Seriously grow up!
he seems uncomfortable enough that I dont think it will work.
some random dude may be a diff story, but having that dude in your face all the time would be awkward i think
I have come onto this board due to an issue that a friend of mine has and I thought I would request some opinions.
Through a marriage aunty my friend met a girl that he chatted to for about two weeks and as far as I know he got on really well with her. The issue is that he also found out through a close friend that she had a socially active early university life, so to speak and she had basically slept with one of his close friends who would rather not talk about it as he has realised his mistakes and moved on.
Now he has raised this issue with the girl and she has admitted her past and has stated that she has moved on and went to umraa the previous year and all the wrongs are now past her.
What should this friend do as the friend she had previously slept with is still pretty much in his life. For once I honestly don’t know what advice to give him.
One final note he is a pretty religious person and he did state that he would refer the matter to his maulvi/sheikh as to the decision to take, they normally do istikhara or something I think.
Thanks
it happened btw his frend and that girl with mutual consent. so i think its difficult.
I have a question to those guys who are advising to marry her... could you guys marry with a girl about whom u know that she has already slept with any other man.
Question for the guy is her being not a virgin is the reason? Or he thinks that she is untrustworthy? She will not commit to him for life. This is the issue that needs to be resolved. Value honesty and loyalty more than virginity.
Is the issue in question based on her behaviour at the time (which you say she has now moved on from) or the fact that she has slept with a close friend of yours?
I personally would advise that he doesn't marry her, because the guy she slept with is still a big part of his life - he is a friend. There will always be that feeling of 'he's slept with my wife, does he still like her, does she like him, has she compared us' blah blah...
I wouldn't be able to marry a guy that had any sort of relationship with a close friend of mine, never mind a sexual encounter - however 'emotionally detached' they both claimed to be.
What you do in the past really does come back to bite you in the bum!