So you get married and you realize your husband or wife really doesn’t agree with your views on things like politics, religion, etc.
The family background, sects, everything is the same but personal views on such matters differ.
How much of an impact does this make on one’s relationship? Or does it even?
Re: Differing opinions in politics, religion, etc.
Can make marriage interesting........
.....for the neighbors.
Re: Differing opinions in politics, religion, etc.
Sounds like James Caraville and Mary Matalin!lol
One of my democratic teachers was married to a republican...they just didn't talk about politics in their house and everyone was happy :)
Re: Differing opinions in politics, religion, etc.
Those couples who don't fight, have to eat in same dinnerware for decades.
:(
Re: Differing opinions in politics, religion, etc.
Reha- it can have an impact if either or both of them are like the nut jobs supporting a party just because.
sensible approach to political or policy differences are no different than anything else.
or if they are so nutjobby about it then dont discuss it with each other :)
Re: Differing opinions in politics, religion, etc.
sometimes you have to just agree to disagree...
if the couple is mature and respectful of one another's different viewpoints, then I don't see why it should be a problem....
although, once you throw children in the mix..then, yes, i can see problems arising...one person will have to bend/compromise...
for example, my husband is extremely strict upon eating only "zabiha"...me, not so much. i grew up eating chicken/beef from non-zabiha restaraunts/fast food etc...
when we were getting married, he did not put any pressure on me to change my views/lifestyle, but i knew that it bothered him, so for the sake of maintaining harmony and a united front for our future children, i stopped eating meat from non-zabiha sources. honestly, it wasn't that big of a deal once i adopted the practice, but i know that if i hadn't, or if i did not raise our children in this practice, it would bother him and cause problems between us.
likewise, he has learned to just accept trick-or-treating and halloween...i grew up doing it, my parents never had a problem with harmless fun, and we grew out of it by the time we hit 11-12 years of age...same with my kids..i'll take them trick-or-treating with some of our other desi friends who have kids the same age..the dads will all chill out at the house, while we moms take the kids or vice versa...he used to have a HUGE problem with it when we were first married, but when our boys were born, for my sake, he relaxed.
Re: Differing opinions in politics, religion, etc.
Did you struggle getting halal meat? Or is just generally it didnt bother you.
I ask because it would certainly bother me yet it doesn't bother some of my friends. I'd probably just eat vegetables if there was no halal meat shop near me.
Re: Differing opinions in politics, religion, etc.
well, my parents first came to the US in 1972. I am first generation born and raised here, back in the "old" days, there wasn't the onslaught of muslim halal grocery stores that there is now. i remember my dad found some out of the way farm that we used to go to once every few months, so that he could do his own qurbani, and then we'd bring the meat back home and pack it up in the deep freezer. all food cooked at home was only from zabiha slaughtered, but my parents still let us eat out at fast food joints/restaraunts. there really was never a distinction.
i have noticed that those indo/pak families who migrated to the US in the late sixties/early seventies tended not to adhere to the strict zabiha restrictions, maybe because it was due to the fact that sources was limited. however, people who have came here from the late 80's/early 90's (like my husband) tend to be very strict in this regard.
I have always been more partial to seafood anyway, so like I said, it was not that hard to adapt too. I also am a pretty good cook, so when I feel like having something "american" i'll just make it at home myself! My husband and I will go to the local Jewish/Kosher butcher when we want steak or other cuts of meat that the desi halal shops don't carry/know how to cut. also, mashallah, our city now even has a string of KFC's that uses zabiha chicken, so my kids don't really miss out on anything. there are so many restaraunts here that do chicken wings, burgers etc with zabiha meat, it's not an issue anymore.
Re: Differing opinions in politics, religion, etc.
well, my parents first came to the US in 1972. I am first generation born and raised here, back in the "old" days, there wasn't the onslaught of muslim halal grocery stores that there is now. i remember my dad found some out of the way farm that we used to go to once every few months, so that he could do his own qurbani, and then we'd bring the meat back home and pack it up in the deep freezer. all food cooked at home was only from zabiha slaughtered, but my parents still let us eat out at fast food joints/restaraunts. there really was never a distinction.
i have noticed that those indo/pak families who migrated to the US in the late sixties/early seventies tended not to adhere to the strict zabiha restrictions, maybe because it was due to the fact that sources was limited. however, people who have came here from the late 80's/early 90's (like my husband) tend to be very strict in this regard.
I have always been more partial to seafood anyway, so like I said, it was not that hard to adapt too. I also am a pretty good cook, so when I feel like having something "american" i'll just make it at home myself! My husband and I will go to the local Jewish/Kosher butcher when we want steak or other cuts of meat that the desi halal shops don't carry/know how to cut. also, mashallah, our city now even has a string of KFC's that uses zabiha chicken, so my kids don't really miss out on anything. there are so many restaraunts here that do chicken wings, burgers etc with zabiha meat, it's not an issue anymore.
Well I can understand in the 70's it would have been difficult to obtain halal meat. I guess it doesn't matter much now. lol
Re: Differing opinions in politics, religion, etc.
bleh......... khich khich.....why do u have to talk that stuff??? just make a sammich go to bed......simple as that.
Re: Differing opinions in politics, religion, etc.
politics not so much, but difference in religious outlooks can cause problems in terms of children. A cousin of mine is pretty strict about not wearing sleeve-less or capris. She'll wear short sleeves and stuff but there is NO way that wearing sleeve=less is allowed in our family (even the short sleeves are going away as people get more strict). However, she married into a family where the women were free to wear whatever they want and it caused major problems when they were raising kids. She didn't want her daughter to wear certain things but the child saw her aunts and even grandmother wearing shorter ensembles so she didn't get why my cousin was "being so strict for no reason".
Re: Differing opinions in politics, religion, etc.
Agreed. Similar outlooks on such issues do matter^
Re: Differing opinions in politics, religion, etc.
^Agree.. This would be quite major stuff to me.. Anything that impacts our married life in a practical way..
Re: Differing opinions in politics, religion, etc.
Politics - no problem.
Religion - could be a problem.
Re: Differing opinions in politics, religion, etc.
It aint a problem at all - simply just dont talk about it - No talk no argument !
Re: Differing opinions in politics, religion, etc.
I do not think it is realistic to think spouses will not discuss issues like these ever...especially the religion.
One way or other they will talk.
Now argument is another matter. Maybe possible. But that would still be difficult since children may be involved.
........Unless they are very robotic, dull or irreligious spouses.
OR
One spouse is extremely 'underdog' for one or other reason.
No wonder at some point a lot of religiously different couples eventually get divorced over these issues.
Re: Differing opinions in politics, religion, etc.
girl needs to keep her mouth shut about theese topics .. simple
Re: Differing opinions in politics, religion, etc.
Depends on the mental maturity of the couple and their willingness to prioritize the strength of their relationship over the conflicting issues. Its healthy to have differing opinions now and then, helps frigidity but again both the partners have to be sensible enough to be able to digest the opposing view. They can agree to disagree, even if not convinced of the other’s POV 
Re: Differing opinions in politics, religion, etc.
They don't need to argue but to respect each other's views. But of course a "Watch OUT!" is must where it is reasonably logical (with understanding) to say so (with hikmah) in order to save each other.
A spouse is moving in a direction that immediately leads to a very big ditch. His clothes are torn, he has no shoes on his feet, he is very hungry and thirsty, he is also ill, and he has a minor injury on his hand. Now, what would the most sensible and sincere spouse like to do first ? Feed him ? give him medicine ? give him new clothes and shoes ? No right ! the most sensible spouse would FIRST try to prevent him from falling into that ditch (to save his life) and then try to give him other facilities.
But in marriage usually people try to emphasize on food, financial stability, other facilities and luxuries,....etc. more than on "IMAAN". Our first and foremost duty is to save ourselves and our spouse from the "ditch" of hell, through connection with Allah (swt) by namaz, and other basic duties. Because death can come next second, and if it arrived with disobedience to Allah (swt) without repentance, then all the food, clothes, technology and medicine can't prevent the fire in his/her grave. The most effective tool is "Dawah" (encouraging good and discouraging bad) through Hikmah (wisdom) and sincere prayers filled with tears.
I could be wrong. Allah knows Best!
Re: Differing opinions in politics, religion, etc.
So you get married and you realize your husband or wife really doesn't agree with your views on things like politics, religion, etc.
As long as he can give me good logic behind his disagreement, i would be fine with it! I am all for different opinions and views just as long as they are coming with some logic and sense and are not disrespectful.