Reading a few threads here and examples in real life, it seems like its bcoming a common pattern…to break off engagement because of different goals and wants in life.
However…one thing I dont get. Doesnt anybody discuss what their goals and stuff are? Its one thing if you want one thing but as you go through more experiences, you change your mind…but if one partner is adamant about something from the start…why do people enter a relationship thinking they will change their mind?
I am not making fun of anybody here..I know it can be very difficult to break off a relationship…but I just wonder what goes through the minds of people who get into these long term relationships or engagements..only for it to break off
Sometimes our goals do change, not neccessarily because of someone but because our responsibilites, priorties and situation changes. I do feel it is important that in a relationship you should know what the goals are of the other partner. Even if they are somewhat different, people do work around it.
If a relationship breaks, there is definitely a lot more than this whole goal issue.
Generally speaking, Ive not seen many people discussing things like aspirations, goals or material wants in life. It does matter in the long run what you want in life. Being sweet, cute, cuddly wuddly and all that only lasts for the first year.
And no, giving up your dream to make theirs happen is not an option because in the end, all that happens is one party becomes bitter as the other gets what they want.
Some people are happy with a comfortable life with no real luxuries. Some people aspire to become bigger and better then the average - nothing wrong with either picture - just that they dont ever cross paths.
Sometimes our goals do change, not neccessarily because of someone but because our responsibilites, priorties and situation changes. I do feel it is important that in a relationship you should know what the goals are of the other partner. Even if they are somewhat different, people do work around it.
If a relationship breaks, there is definitely a lot more than this whole goal issue.
I'm one of those people who had differing goals than my ex but like spiral said there is more to the problem. I am actually one of those girls that has been brought up to think that we have to sacrifice and compromise more so then men. So trust me when I say this it was not spur of the moment. Its a combiniation of things that I don't want to get into.
I think people should know their partner's aspirations, goals and prospects ideally before embarking on a relationship or married life. Then there is no chances for nasty surprises, shocks and feeling trapped once they do come to light.
I don't understand either how people get into relationships without even knowing what their partner wants to achieve in life. Maybe it's hard to get that close in an arranged rishta.
sometimes i feel that ppl nowadays are getting into relationships and marriages for the sake of it and then realise “oh shoot ! what have i gotten myself into?”. PPL rush in to love and retract themselves when they realise it not really what they were looking for :k:.
I don't think one can ever understand whats its like to be in someone else's shoes and I don't have the patience to explain either.
All I want to say is that we all make mistake in life and the best thing to do is learn from them and don't do it again. For my parents and me that would be to take A LOT more time thinking and getting to know the person and make sure there are no major differences in mine and "potential's" future goals before going a head with somethings like this.
Although I highly believe things happen because they are meant to because my sister got engaged and married within a matter of some months and is MashAllah very happy.