So let’s say that you have a child and your views on raising that child are different from your spouse’s. Think of some situations and discuss how parents can work together effectively.
Re: Differences between spouses
parents can only work together if they have a habbit to listen to eachother ,instead of saying i am right and you are wrong:) plus if they have a problem with eacthothers views ,they should discuss it privately not infron of the kids.i have seen a family who abuse eachother infront of kids and now kids do the same with them.
Re: Differences between spouses
One frequent topic of argument b/w me and my wife is on how to deal with the kids when he/she is not listening/following directions. (we have a 6 years old and 3 years old)
My wife believe in chotee motee pitiee/phantee (a thapper on the @ss here a thappar on the back there....pinching etc not the real phintiee with maula baksh etc). She is into this coz she was raised this way and believe its sometime time mandatory on the other hand I am strictly against this because I was never dealt physically (not that I was not punished but it was like "ok no more fav toy for 3 days" or "no one gona talk to you for 4 hours" etc)
She try not to do phaintee (most probably when I m around), and i try not to argue in front of kids about this although this still is an outstanding burning issue b/w us :)
Re: Differences between spouses
Most importantly, none of the spouses should undermine each other front of the kid. When they see that there is always a disagreement and husband undermines wifee OR vice versa, the children learn and pick up fast from it. They no longer have the same respect for you and they think they can do same with the parents.
Re: Differences between spouses
Here's another scenario.
Some friends of ours, they have a 4 year old son. The father is active in tabligh, a great provider for his family and a nice hearted fellow. Wife is very modest but not as conservative. So far they've had no issues. Now that the kid is ready for school, he is interested in sending their son to Islamic school but the wife does not. She has her reasons, he has his. He doesn't listen to her point of view and is determined and she is very upset.
I don't know what to say as I have never been in that situation and I really don't know what I should be saying. Anyway that's their personal decision but it's good to know views of others.
So any opinions on that? Maybe I can get an insight?
Re: Differences between spouses
if the islamic school is registered n licensed n giv regular educaton then y the wife doesn't want religious education for her kid.If the guy is not listening he is doing right as it is parents foremost responsibility as muslims to teach their kids abt Islam n they learn it best at school.I'm. assuming this school is not in pak.n no not all islamic schools rise terrorists.