don’t know if this been posted b4.. but i liked a few of these…
Nicknames
If Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose go out for lunch, they will call each other
Laura, Suzanne, Debra and Rose.
If Mike, Charlie, Bob and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each
other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-head and Schmucko.
Eating Out
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even
though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none
will actually admit they want some change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
**
Money
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.**
**
Bathrooms
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothpaste, toothbrush, shaving cream,
razor,
a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.(<-- yesh yesh)
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. No man will
be able to identify most of these items.
Arguments
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Cats
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.
**
The Future
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
Success
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Marriage
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting she won’t change and she does.
Dressing Up
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage,
answer
the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and
funerals.
**
Natural
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
Thought For The Day
Every married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people
remembering
the same thing, is there? lol lol lol.. i aint married but it is sooo true
**
^-People Make Mistakes.. I Make Un-Avoidable Errors-^