At times the same point of view, had it been conveyed at the right timing & a better way, after giving it a bit of thought, with hikmah (wisdom), or through a light joke, and love would have totally different affect on the person to whom it was conveyed.
For Example: A husband might have had a heated argument with his boss/colleague in his office, so better not to bombard him with the complains against his sister/mother (whoever has extremely hurt her feelings) at that time. Even in case the wife vents out her emotions at that (wrong) time, the husband should better control his emotions and instead of letting out his frustration in the form an advice (give me some time might sound like shut up), so better to remain quiet, take rest, till he is in a better position to discuss the matter with a cool & sensible head.
Please correct mistakes in the scenario. Also. any other example you would like to share ? Would help me in learning and improving my knowledge and understanding. JazakAllah Khair!
Re: Difference b/w 'venting out anger' & 'genuine complaining/advising'
Having said the above, unfortunately I myself make the same mistake time and again. The purpose is to share and discuss it repeatedly so that what is on the tongue should sink in the heart and makes it easy to act upon it.
Words of love makes it easier for an enemy to understand a complicated point, but words uttered in anger makes it difficult for a spouse to understand a simple logical reasoning.
Re: Difference b/w 'venting out anger' & 'genuine complaining/advising'
^ I don't know. My wife liked this nick, so I kept it. Don't know about its background. She did once mentioned that it was some character in some movie she watched.
Re: Difference b/w 'venting out anger' & 'genuine complaining/advising'
If one isn't careful while doing "Tambeeh/Talqeen" (correction/advice) it might give an impression of "Tauheen" (Insult) to the one who is being corrected. Selection of words and the way a question is asked reflect the intentions behind them.