did your in laws get you anything for the delivery of ur 1st baby?

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Re: did your in laws get you anything for the delivery of ur 1st baby?

i hope you remember this generous and kind hearted gesture the next time you rant about ure mil :)

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my God, i m pissed but wot r u so pissed abt??? i have the rite to express my feelings dun i? i din say i hate her.

gosh, ppl are always ready to jump at u and give unsolicited advice!`

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this KIND hearted gesture was under pressure my dear!! not becus she WANTED to gift.

24

Re: did your in laws get you anything for the delivery of ur 1st baby?

I think khawateen's comment was for nadz.

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this reply was for nadzzz and not u. :)

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Re: did your in laws get you anything for the delivery of ur 1st baby?

Wow i wasn't aware of such riwaj.. my MIL lives in pak and i live in uk, and she's always sendin clothes n stuff.. but i'm not expecting anything frm her for me but i'm sure she'd have things to give for her grandchild.

Infact I was thinking that it's riwaj that when child is born you r supposed to give gifts to your elders like MIL and Mother.. Bachey ki khushi mein, has anyone else heard of this?

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Re: did your in laws get you anything for the delivery of ur 1st baby?

^ yeah that's what they do in my family, usually gold for the mothers and aunts and joras for everyone else.

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Well dear, none of your posts indicate you love your MIL either. I just find it odd that you should get pissed. Anyhow…i stand by what i said, why waste energy being angry over petty little things. :slight_smile:

Actually I have never heard that riwaj of giving things after a birth except for mithai.. It sounds similar to what goes on at weddings where the girls side gifts so many things to the guys side…gold/sona etc…doesnt seem fair to do it again…but hey to each their own…

I don’t know what I’ll do :hinna: but for sure I’d be upset if anybody “expected” me to give them anything, whether it was their riwaj or not. Things should be given out of love and happiness, not out of “duty.” it goes for both older and younger generation.

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yep that's exactly what we do in our family :)
suits for the aunties and a gold item like chain or earings for the mothers.

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Actually I have never heard that riwaj of giving things after a birth except for mithai.. It sounds similar to what goes on at weddings where the girls side gifts so many things to the guys side…gold/sona etc…doesnt seem fair to do it again…but hey to each their own…

I don’t know what I’ll do :hinna: but for sure I’d be upset if anybody “expected” me to give them anything, whether it was their riwaj or not. Things should be given out of love and happiness, not out of “duty.” it goes for both older and younger generation.
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Yeah i agree with you hun!.. well said about giving gifts n gestures out of love n happiness rather than a duty, but now’a days formality counts alot, infact it’s d only thing that works.

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sorry my bad :)

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Re: did your in laws get you anything for the delivery of ur 1st baby?

Well said!! Totally agree with that. :slight_smile:

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Re: did your in laws get you anything for the delivery of ur 1st baby?

I think its a gold ring for the baby ??? (normally that is)

well i got a gold ring for the baby but MIL gave a big size so that i could wear it too

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Re: did your in laws get you anything for the delivery of ur 1st baby?

I was thinking something similar. I don’t understand that why when it comes to your own rights & duties people bring islam and when it comes to someone else’s people bring rivaaj. MIL is not suppose to give you and your baby anything at all, if she does then appreciate it because she is not obliged to do it. The only person who is suppose to give to you & to your baby is your husband thats it !

The family (urdu speaking) in which I got married MIL or FIL does not give a thing to the baby or to the mother. They tell the girl’s side of the family to prepare everything …in their own words “baby ka poora jahez banati hai larki ki maa” and the girl’s side of the family is also required to give a gold item to their daughter (baby’s mom).

In my own (punjabi) family , the girls side of the family givesnothing at all. All the stuff is given by the grand parents , phupo , chacha , taya to the baby thats it ! the mother is not given anything at all and neither the girl’s side of the family nor the guy’s side of the family give anything made of gold to the new mother. Yes , the baby gets gold item from his uncles & aunts (who so ever can afford) otherwise it is not a must !

When my own baby was born I didn’t get a single thing for her from her dada , dadi or taya , phupo etc. My own parents got her all the outfits , cot , bottles , steriliser etc and also did her aqeeqa . My uncles and aunts sent loads of things for the baby with money and only one uncle gave me a jora thats it !

Not every event that takes place in one’s life should be en-cashed. It’s highly unfair to expect the MIL to get you and your baby stuff & gold items. If she loves your baby and give dua to her/him then thats more than enough.

35

Re: did your in laws get you anything for the delivery of ur 1st baby?

I didnt get anything and to be honest i didnt expect anything either. And it does not bother me at all.

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Re: did your in laws get you anything for the delivery of ur 1st baby?

this riwaj stuff is so silly.... what if someone cant afford something? their duas and kindness and blessings should be enough I say.

Who cares about who gives what.... as long as people are happy for you, that's all.

nadz, that was really sweet of ur MIL :)

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Re: did your in laws get you anything for the delivery of ur 1st baby?

I dont know about Riwaj, etc.
I was not expecting anything except maybe baby clothes for my daughter (the first-born). My MIL sent a gold bracelet for her, some clothes and those khala dhaagas for her wrists and some bedding (that you would find only in Pakistan) and sent a gold set for me … I was pleasantly shocked.

This time she sent a gold ring for the expected baby and a gold & beads set for my daughter (my first-born) and nothing for me :cb: … I guess mein puraani ho gayee or maybe its because her budget is tight these days … so I will make my husband buy me something nice this time :smiley:

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Re: did your in laws get you anything for the delivery of ur 1st baby?

^ aww that's sweet.

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Re: did your in laws get you anything for the delivery of ur 1st baby?

ha, well i saw the ring today and my god, its tiny, its hardly worth anything, it wasbetter she didnt send it and just sent a suit, some things just dont look good, even if gold, it looked cheap, i would never wear it, and even husband was silent when looking at it, i said it wont fit me now anyway plus its too thin the band bit, itl break...he just hmmmmmed in agreement, not sure if he said anything to his mum later but then in the next convo with my MIL she said oh yeh SIL nai bhaija hai...bascially now they saying my sister in law sent it and bought it, hence meaning thats why its cheap probably cos she is younger than me and just began working last year....i dont belive a word of it, also the same SIL sent £500, NOT SURE whose it for, obv for her bro and me, im assuming though the moneys for him and tacky cheap 20quid ring for me.......not getting the picture at all.

on a slightly positive note, they did send a latest kaftan style dress, whihc they keep insisting i wear, its nice, but it doesnt fit, im nearly 9 months preg for gods sake, told them it doesnt fit, but they keep saying waise hi pehnlo...okkkkkk...im asusming again they sent it because their pyaari daughter wants some cosmetics from here and can only ask me cos her bro aint got a clue about cosmetics....hai.

yes i channel my anger through more anger. :)

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Re: did your in laws get you anything for the delivery of ur 1st baby?

i would ignore these silly issues and concentrate on raising a sensible and healthy baby. it really doesn't sound like a big deal.