I know it’s not something pleasant to think about, but it is an unfortunate reality for some that if you and your spouse were to die, what would happen to your kids?
I know in western culture there’s the concept of god-parents, who can be other relatives or close friends of the couple–who agree to raise the children should anything happen to the parents…like its all legalized and stuff..
Do we have such a concept in our desi culture? Does anybody seriously sit down and make a decision that in case this ever happens, what would they do?
Most desi parents that I know do .... and they should.
Last year we draft a living will and that included sitting down and decided what happens to our kids when either one of us are not around or both of us.
God forbid such a day ever come, but my sister and her husband drafted their will(s), appointed an executor to their will and also spoke to the sibling who is to become the guardian to their children in the event something happens. Obviously all of the aunts/uncles/grandparents/cousins would be a part of their children's lives - but they've made it clear who they want raising their children and how.
There's no discussion about offending anyone - because often it's a question of maternal side/paternal side and who should raise the children - with this couple they chose the family who they knew could give their chidrent the best moral upbringing possible.
It's a tough reality, but parents NEED to think about such a circumstance and they also need to plan for their children's financial well-being if something happens to them.
Oh, and we have a non-desi friends who have an interesting travel plan. When they fly as a family, they all fly together, meaning parents and kids - so that God forbid something happens, it would happen to them together.
If the couple takes a vacation by themselves without the kids, they fly separately - the mum and dad will take different flights. I was initially perplexed by their choice, but the more I thought about, the more it made to sense to me and showed to me how thoughtful the parents are about their children's well-being and future.
Its hard to think about, but my husband and I have had the conversation on who would take care of out kid if anything we're to happen to either one of us. We're insha allah expecting little bean to arrive any day now and drafting a will is going to be one of the first things we're planning on finalizing.
As uncomfortable as it may be, I think all parents have the responsibility to ensure that there are clear plans for their kids should anything happen to them
If the couple takes a vacation by themselves without the kids, they fly separately - the mum and dad will take different flights.
That is good to know that I am not the only paranoid person who thinks that its a good idea, though execution of that idea on our part is still miles away.
Honestly, we talked about what would happen if one of us leave the world, but both of us together is something we really have to think about.
Oh, and we have a non-desi friends who have an interesting travel plan. When they fly as a family, they all fly together, meaning parents and kids - so that God forbid something happens, it would happen to them together.
If the couple takes a vacation by themselves without the kids, they fly separately - the mum and dad will take different flights. I was initially perplexed by their choice, but the more I thought about, the more it made to sense to me and showed to me how thoughtful the parents are about their children's well-being and future.
That's interesting.
I have actually heard of situations where families avoid flying together. Just so that if something happens, the kids have a higher chance of being safe.
Either way, it shows the thoughtfulness of parents.
I think about that alott. My worries are much bigger because my daughter just have 1 parent that is me. I literally make dua to Allah to give me enough time to get her settled. Anyway worst case scenario if that happens my parents would take care of her and if God forbid they are not around then her khala who loves her alot would take care of her.
I think about that alott. My worries are much bigger because my daughter just have 1 parent that is me. I literally make dua to Allah to give me enough time to get her settled. Anyway worst case scenario if that happens my parents would take care of her and if God forbid they are not around then her khala who loves her alot would take care of her.
Hubby and I have discussed this and been discussing who could take over the parent role if something happened to us. we did agree on my younger sister who is raising her two kids very well mashaAllah but we havent drafted any will yet.....
I think most desi people dont think about wills until they are old. We have 3 young children and we made our wills last year. It is very simple to do and gives us reassurance and peace of mind. Also if you have property and other assets, it is worth doing it as soon as possible. We also never travel separately on flights and when going in cars with other families we make sure all of us sit in the same car. My husband is over cautious with these things because his cousin died in a car accident while her family was in the car behind.
If the couple takes a vacation by themselves without the kids, they fly separately - the mum and dad will take different flights. I was initially perplexed by their choice, but the more I thought about, the more it made to sense to me and showed to me how thoughtful the parents are about their children's well-being and future.
Wow I must be so selfish, I would rather die with my husband :o
I definitely think all parents should write a will and determine who will be the guardians of their children
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If the couple takes a vacation by themselves without the kids, they fly separately - the mum and dad will take different flights. I was initially perplexed by their choice, but the more I thought about, the more it made to sense to me and showed to me how thoughtful the parents are about their children's well-being and future.
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Ive heard about this before too and dont really agree with it personally. I dont believe that our death is based on statistics and chances, its already written and decreed. If both parents were meant to die on the same day, at the same time, then even if they are on separate planes, both planes would crash at the same time. If only one was meant to die, then even if they are sitting right next to each other on the plane, one would die and one would survive. Of course we are supposed to take proper precautions and live safely, this doesnt mean we should live recklessly and do whatever because everything is already written. But I just dont personally get the travelling separately part. Dont more people die in car accidents than while flying, so why dont parents always drive in different cars, if there are higher chances of something happening to them in a car then in a plane. I just dont think that flying on separate planes is a way of ensuring safety or that at least one parent will survive to take care of the children
I definitely think all parents should write a will and determine who will be the guardians of their children
Ive heard about this before too and dont really agree with it personally. I dont believe that our death is based on statistics and chances, its already written and decreed. If both parents were meant to die on the same day, at the same time, then even if they are on separate planes, both planes would crash at the same time. If only one was meant to die, then even if they are sitting right next to each other on the plane, one would die and one would survive. Of course we are supposed to take proper precautions and live safely, this doesnt mean we should live recklessly and do whatever because everything is already written. But I just dont personally get the travelling separately part. Dont more people die in car accidents than while flying, so why dont parents always drive in different cars, if there are higher chances of something happening to them in a car then in a plane. I just dont think that flying on separate planes is a way of ensuring safety or that at least one parent will survive to take care of the children
True. Death is predetermined. There is absolutely nothing you can do to avoid it.
But it's interesting to see this family's approach of flying separate. The only family I know of doing this is the British royal family where the heirs to the throne have to fly on separate planes. In fact I think there is a law that mandates that for them!
If the couple takes a vacation by themselves without the kids, they fly separately - the mum and dad will take different flights. I was initially perplexed by their choice, but the more I thought about, the more it made to sense to me and showed to me how thoughtful the parents are about their children's well-being and future.
ok. I think thats a bit overboard. Do they take two cars whenever they drive? after-all odds of someone dying in car accident is still more than in airplane accident.
and where will this end? how about living in separate homes so God forbid if there is a fire....
I definitely think all parents should write a will and determine who will be the guardians of their children
Ive heard about this before too and dont really agree with it personally. I dont believe that our death is based on statistics and chances, its already written and decreed. If both parents were meant to die on the same day, at the same time, then even if they are on separate planes, both planes would crash at the same time. If only one was meant to die, then even if they are sitting right next to each other on the plane, one would die and one would survive. Of course we are supposed to take proper precautions and live safely, this doesnt mean we should live recklessly and do whatever because everything is already written. But I just dont personally get the travelling separately part. Dont more people die in car accidents than while flying, so why dont parents always drive in different cars, if there are higher chances of something happening to them in a car then in a plane. I just dont think that flying on separate planes is a way of ensuring safety or that at least one parent will survive to take care of the children
Um, try jumping off a cliff. It will work any day.
