did anyone just have a

[Cunctator]

Re: did anyone just have a

@Umer

Exactly. I have had so many conversations that sounded pretty much like this:

Me: “Auntie, app ko bete ki shaadi ki Mubarak ho.”
Aunty: “Abhi to sirf Nikkah hua hai. Bete ki shaadi to hum agle saal karrainge.”
Me: “Nikkah hi to shaadi hoti hai.”
Aunty: “Haan aap ki ye baat to sahi hai, lekin wo to hum nai sirf is liye jaldi kar diya taa kai visa apply ho jaaye. Asal function to phir agle saal hi hoga. Aap nai zaroor aana hai.”
Me (thinking to myself): “You didn’t invite me to the actual event, ie the Nikkah. And now you want me to attend the Rukshsati, which you call the actual Shaadi.”

:lkk:

That is so true and a common practice in our society. Most people give the same reason of legal documentation. The elders in the family also instruct the couple (actually married) not to meet up. If they are engaged, then they can hang out .

But I have come across few people who always do nikah first. I mean it is understandable, to some extent, that nikah is done for visa process and then shaddi will happen when the groom can take the bride with himself. But some people give logic that if nikah is done first, then it would be a halal way of getting to know each other. I agree that they have a point but my apprehension is what if they do not like each other. In engagement, one may call off. But after nikah, things get quite complicated.