My dadi passed away in the 80's so I never met her. From what i hear and from what i've seen she seemed like a sweet lady and funny too. My dada passed away when i was 5, but I remember staying awake with him when the rest of the family would go to sleep at noon and giving him juice and bread when he asked for food. Towards the end of his life, his memory went weak and he passed away.
When my mom was 6 or 7 her father died. My nani had 8 daughters, whom she supported. She got them all married, and did the most she could for them. MashAllah all of my khala's and my mother have had happy lives. Growing up I was close to my nani and loved her a great amount . I respect her for what she's gone through and how strong she still remains. She lives alone, but my two khala's visit her almost every night. My khala literally forced her to live with her in the uk, but she said she cant live somewhere which her husband (my nana) hated. Three of her daughters live here but she still doesnt want to leave.
In my opinion, my dada and dadi were good and simple people. They made mistakes, and sometimes misbehaved with my mother but families will always have problems. I never hated my dada and dadi, but it was my fathers siblings that i've always had a problem with. Dada's memory was weak and most of the time he didn't know what was happening around him. My phopo's would come from karachi and stay with us for months, all the while making my mother's life like hell, and i'll never forgive them for that.
I'm close to my nani, because i can truly say she is a good lady. When my phopo's would be mean to my mom and she would go home crying, my nani was the one to fix everything. She was never greedy or selfish.
People are close to their dada and dadi because, they are the ones they see the most usually. My niece is closer to my father and mother, and even calls them ammi and abbu because my sis in laws family is in pak.
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its nature's way of making up for how larkay walay treat the bahus.
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I can understand where this is coming from, but I really dislike this kind of thought probably because the opposite has happened with my family. My nani is the prototypical grandmother- she loves knitting and telling stories about her younger days and stories of my aunts and uncles when they were naughty kids- and it's so much fun to sit with her and hear about her life. And she's a pretty oblivious person too- she has no sense of tact sometimes and she says/does things without really thinking or picking up social cues - which I always find hilarious and silly, but I guess I could see how others would find that annoying. However, for me, as long as someone's heart is in the right place- that their intentions are never to hurt, I really can't dislike them. She and my grandfather do not interfere at ALL in their kids' lives, which sometimes is a bad thing because their kids might be suffering, but they just say this is not our place to make a decision. Anyway, my cousins for whom they are dada/dadi basically give them the silent treatment/minimal interaction. And sometimes I actually feel sorry for them b/c they missed out on having fun and cool grandparents. Their mom treats them pretty badly, and my grandparents just say it's fine, we don't want to make a fuss. So yeah I guess they'll never know what they missed. And it really depends on the saas/bahu dynamic.
@My SeCrEt I think more people are inclined towards their nani/nanas in my opinion with a lot of exception as illustrated in this thread. I wish my Dadhi was as loving and caring as my nani is but it was not the case. She loves my father and I think that is the most important.
Isn’t it fetching that when our culture and upbringing teach us to respect our elders especially our mothers and fathers but when we see dadhis or nanis do wrong against them we are torn in our relationships with our grandparents? No one wants to see their moms or dads abused by anyone but at the same time we have to respect them. My phupos and chachas are on a whole other level as well. I would love to have known them before they became in laws. I know they are capable of being good people, I mean they do have friends
I never knew my grandparents but I hope my parents will be around long enough inshAllah for my children and nephews to get ot know them very well and have a relationship with them.
