Assalamoalaikum All! One of my khala had tried to marry her daughter with me and for this, she also called me personally to have my opinion about her daughter. Her daughter is 19 years old and im 24 and she also has a moral character and she is good looking, innocent nice calm and pretty too. But still their lifestyle is not so religious as I want and on the other hand I also like one of my class fellow so I refused her without telling that I like my class fellow because if I would have told them then it would have passed towards my father who would have put sanctions on me becoz he is very strict in this matter. Now the game that my khala played and which shocked me a lot is that despite of my refusal she still tried to have a go from ignorant and shaitaan aamils which lateron she told my mother too. I used to message the brother of that cousin daily for about a year or so period by thinking that the person which im messaging constantly and largely is her brother. But the reality was something else which I failed to understand.
My khala tried to create understanding between me and her daughter and constantly pressurized me to marry her daughter by making lame excuses that I have only one daughter and we are very poor ones so im very worried about her future and I like to marry my daughter with you so please consider your decision. But I knew that I liked my class fellow and if I accepted her offer then I could have not been able to do insaf with her daughter which she deserves as a wife. Which would have been a brutality with her and I personally hate brutality and hence still refused that offer.
But now, the worse thing my khala had done was that she made her daughter to pretend me as if the other person to which im messaging is her brother and I also failed to see that game. But the reality was that actually it was her daughter herself who used to message me by using name of her brother. Another worse thing happened was that I sent a gift on the name of her brother who even don’t knew that what is going on and what was behind the scene nor I knew it. Her father is religiously a very strict person and is a DSP in Islamabad Police. During my conversation with my khala about her daughter she strictly advised me not to say anything to my khalu regarding the phone calls and what she was saying to me there. I was surprised why she was not letting khalu to be involved in this matter becoz husband is a very important factor which must not be ignored in doing such decisions regarding their children’s life. May be it was a politics which I failed to understand.
Now one day, I called on that number who was of actually her daughter but she pretended to be her brother. My khala picked up the phone and I started routine conversation of asking if everyone was all right at home. Suddenly my khalu also arrived from his office and she also informed me that khalu has also arrived at home. I asked her to hand over the phone to khalu so that I could also have a chit chat with him. At that time my khalu did not say anything to me and talked reservedly with me but after that he quarreled with khala for that. I also did not knew what game was being played from my khala’s end so after that when again I messaged to her brother which actually was her daughter then my khala sent me a message that “plz do not message us again because I (my khala) do not not want you to message us again”. Which was very shocking for me because I even did not knew what actually happened. After that I stopped messaging by sending a message angrily that “very shame on your approach, I believed in you as my mother but what you are doing with me? and what had I done and for what this message is? You have not ever said me like that which you are saying me today? And im shocked to read all your messages.”
Then after some days when my mother called her then at one time khala’s tongue slipped and the truth came out of her tongue which lateron she tried to cover the situation.
Now, the matter is that whatever has happened but one thing is clear that now there would definitely be a negative view about my character in my khaalu’s mind because he is a religious man and he does not spare such things. Moreover, it makes more worry for me because after 4 days im going to Islamabad at there home with my father in order to attest my degree from Higher education commission of Pakistan and my father also doesn’t know about the situation and if there will be a quarrel then my father will not spare me after knowing the entire situation. Now the question is that how could I clear all the situation to him to eliminate the negative view about my character in his mind because it would definitely be harmful for me as it can also pass through all the family. And if I clear all the situation to him then definitely there is another chance of starting a quarrel between him, my khala and his daughter who were involved in this situation.
Im so confused plz guide me how to clear myself in this situation infront of khalu by also protecting my khala and cousin from any big quarrel amongst them?
So how exactly did ur khalu find out? when you were on the phone with ur khala and he walked in the house, you only spoke to him to find out his 'haal chaal' soo why would he be upset?
in case he is upset i think you should tell your parents about everything that has happened, most of the time they usually know how to handle these situations specially since its involving close relatives. your mom should have a talk to her sister about all the things shes doing. one thing is clear though, do not marry into this family because your khala is obviously very manipulative and will most likely stay that way.
so i say speak to your parents first and get their advice. if that somehow doesnt work then when u go there u should speak directly to ur khalu when u get there with ur father present as well.
You said that your khala told your mom about the situation. So, does your mom know about the game that your khala played? And has your mom talked to YOU about the whole situation? If your mom knows that you are innocent, then this works to your advantage because your mom will try to defend your reputation if an argument takes place in the future. And your mom can clarify the situation to your dad.
If your mom has not talked to you about the phone conversation she had with your Khala.......then perhaps you should try to discuss the situation with your mom. AT LEAST one of your parents needs to KNOW the truth. And tell your mom that you are afraid that your dad and khalu will think negatively of you and that you also don't want your khala and cousin to get caught in this mess. Perhaps your mom can help you out. There is a possibility that your Khaloo won't say anything to you........because his OWN daughter is so guilty and starting an argument with YOU might bring shame upon the reputation of his daughter who was trying to connect with you in a deceptive manner.
Talk to your mom because she's the only one among your parents who knows about the situation.
So how exactly did ur khalu find out? when you were on the phone with ur khala and he walked in the house, you only spoke to him to find out his 'haal chaal' soo why would he be upset?
in case he is upset i think you should tell your parents about everything that has happened, most of the time they usually know how to handle these situations specially since its involving close relatives. your mom should have a talk to her sister about all the things shes doing. one thing is clear though, do not marry into this family because your khala is obviously very manipulative and will most likely stay that way.
so i say speak to your parents first and get their advice. if that somehow doesnt work then when u go there u should speak directly to ur khalu when u get there with ur father present as well.
lateron my khala told that her daughter does message me which sometimes my khalu also read when i replied in some cases and he previously had quarrelled about it becoz he is religious. but my khala has been doing all this secretly by hiding it from khalu
lateron my khala told that her daughter does message me which sometimes my khalu also read when i replied in some cases and he previously had quarrelled about it becoz he is religious. but my khala has been doing all this secretly by hiding it from khalu
:(
that sucks. i suggest talking to ur parents including your dad cuz when u go to ISB u dont want something coming up and ur dad not knowing anything about it at all.
You said that your khala told your mom about the situation. So, does your mom know about the game that your khala played? And has your mom talked to YOU about the whole situation? If your mom knows that you are innocent, then this works to your advantage because your mom will try to defend your reputation if an argument takes place in the future. And your mom can clarify the situation to your dad.
If your mom has not talked to you about the phone conversation she had with your Khala.......then perhaps you should try to discuss the situation with your mom. AT LEAST one of your parents needs to KNOW the truth. And tell your mom that you are afraid that your dad and khalu will think negatively of you and that you also don't want your khala and cousin to get caught in this mess. Perhaps your mom can help you out. There is a possibility that your Khaloo won't say anything to you........because his OWN daughter is so guilty and starting an argument with YOU might bring shame upon the reputation of his daughter who was trying to connect with you in a deceptive manner.
Talk to your mom because she's the only one among your parents who knows about the situation.
yes i have told everything to my mother and when she also called khala then she also pretended as if she does not know anything in order to see what khala say about it.
so yes my mother knows all but the difficulty is that my father only believes in his cousins of his side. he says what i say is always right which is bad thing. so thats the difficulty here now.
yes i have told everything to my mother and when she also called khala then she also pretended as if she does not know anything in order to see what khala say about it.
so yes my mother knows all but the difficulty is that my father only believes in his cousins of his side. he says what i say is always right which is bad thing. so thats the difficulty here now.
:(
Are you saying that your khalu is your dad's cousin?
Okay...does your mom know that your cousin was the one trying to contact you on the internet?
You said that your khalu got mad at your khala. So does Khalu know that Khala was playing a game? Does he know that his own daughter was trying to contact you?
In my opinion........I don't think anything will happen to you......because your Khala and her daugther must be feeling so embarrassed now that they probably want to forget about the whole thing and move on. Plus I'm sure your Khala would not want to start an argument because aisa karne se un ki beti ki izzat par aanch aa sakti hai. So, she'll try to avoid it. Parents (moms and dads) tend to be very careful about their daugthers' reputation.
Are you saying that your khalu is your dad's cousin?
Okay...does your mom know that your cousin was the one trying to contact you on the internet?
You said that your khalu got mad at your khala. So does Khalu know that Khala was playing a game? Does he know that his own daughter was trying to contact you?
In my opinion........I don't think anything will happen to you......because your Khala and her daugther must be feeling so embarrassed now that they probably want to forget about the whole thing and move on. Plus I'm sure your Khala would not want to start an argument because aisa karne se un ki beti ki izzat par aanch aa sakti hai. So, she'll try to avoid it. Parents (moms and dads) tend to be very careful about their daugthers' reputation.
no bhai my cousin messaged me at my mobile not on internet and my khalu also doesnt know the game played by khala but now the thing is that could he tell about my negative character in the family as he will now think off, in his bros or father mother?
im worried about that becoz it can spread afterwards.
no bhai my cousin messaged me at my mobile not on internet and my khalu also doesnt know the game played by khala but now the thing is that could he tell about my negative character in the family as he will now think off, in his bros or father mother?
im worried about that becoz it can spread afterwards.
:(
Araay kuptaan bhai. Molvi ho to Sub kuch sahi sahi apni ammi ko bata dain aur un ko kahain kay aap kay walid ko pehli fursat main batain.
Us kay baad aap nain agar kuch ghalat naheen kia aur aap kay saath dhoka kia gia hai to Allah pay poora bharosa rakhain aur bilkul na darain aur sub kuch Allah par chor dain.
Allah zaroor aap ki madad karay ga. Agar aap nain ghalat naheen kia aur sub ki bhalai chahtain hain to Allah pay mukummal aitamaad rakhain. Apni ammi ko sari detail bata kar us ko takeed karain kay pehli fursut main aap kay walid ko batain. Insha Allah kuch naheen ho ga Allah madad karnay wala hai.
Araay kuptaan bhai. Molvi ho to Sub kuch sahi sahi apni ammi ko bata dain aur un ko kahain kay aap kay walid ko pehli fursat main batain.
Us kay baad aap nain agar kuch ghalat naheen kia aur aap kay saath dhoka kia gia hai to Allah pay poora bharosa rakhain aur bilkul na darain aur sub kuch Allah par chor dain.
Allah zaroor aap ki madad karay ga. Agar aap nain ghalat naheen kia aur sub ki bhalai chahtain hain to Allah pay mukummal aitamaad rakhain. Apni ammi ko sari detail bata kar us ko takeed karain kay pehli fursut main aap kay walid ko batain. Insha Allah kuch naheen ho ga Allah madad karnay wala hai.
Meri duain bhi aap kay saath hain.
shukria bhai jaan apki support ka lekin walid sahib ammi ki baat sunein tu tb na unko apne aur apne khandan k ilawa koi dusra darust nazar nahe ata.
