Re: desperatly confused newly wed
Just read this thread - I don't know...my first instinct on the situation is that QB you have something at the back of your mind - in your subconcious that's stopping you from making a go. It doesn't have to be your fault as you can't help what's in your subconcious.....it could be anything - a bad childhood experience/witnessing something traumatic to do with marriage (even in a film?) or maybe there's an emotional involvement with someone?
Unfortunately, in our culture the emotional health/wellbeing of someone in this situation isn't really addressed........it's all a case of "you're married now....go and make a go of it and somewhere along the line, we'll measure your success as a DIL/wife in a way we (society/community/family) see fit"
I do however think that as a wife you have the opportunity to better yourself and your husband............all it takes is perseverance and a wanting to do so. However, ultimately, you have to change your mindset to do this, you are in the worng frame of mind from the start of your married life....that's not going to help you.
You can change your husband, after all, isn't it said in our culture that "a mother raises her son for 25 years but can't make him her own, yet a wife manages it in 25 minutes of marriage"?
Why not go for a honeymoon, where you can relax and chill out together, as your in laws and family are more than happy with you, then they should be up for this.......it'll give you a chance to spend some quality time together.....
As for the physical aspect.........seek comfort in the protective presence of your husband...and that doesn't necessarily mean sleeping together.....let down your guard and treat it as if you've just met and are starting a relationship.........
HTH - you're in all our duas anyway