So looking at typical desi weddings I see more stress then ever with so much competition out there, so much financial burden on parents because girls in general are more demanding about their weddings and play a huge role in arranging it now not to mention the increasing demands from the groom’s side of the family…oh my god!
What’s a parent to do? 
Re: Desi Wedding Woes
I hear ya!!
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I think about my own wedding and how I would respond to my child who wanted a wedding like I do. So I thought parents can offer a certain amount of money and give the option of either spending it on their wedding or saving it for something else like a house payment/car etc.
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I dunno man. I’m already stressed out, and my kids are still very small. 
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I am not stressing at all. I am pretty sure they won't want this all this hoopla... the problem is if I would want it for them.
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lol yeah sometimes it feels like my father wants it more then I do. We keep fighting over the guest list, he always wants to add more people!
but he doesn't understand the concept of things like party favours, per-plate sort deal
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start saving, Niks!
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If I have a daughter I will be happy to pay for her wedding but sure as hell not going to give hte in laws anything!
If I have a son, well I hope his susral walay are still traditional. :)
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Sara, that would be an ideal life wouldn't it?
I'm all for having a great wedding for my children if I can afford it, but I'm afraid of the pressures as I mentioned above. I hope I can raise my children to be sensible and balanced, but what about other demands?
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I was kidding..:D but yeah.
I guess that's a bridge you'll cross when you get there--but after viewing some of the posts/trends here, it seems like more girls are in favor of small, modest weddings and its hte parents who want the gigantic weddings.
I think many will agree, spending money on makeup, hair, menu, dresses, jewelery, photography are somewaht reasonable....the only unreasonable expense in weddings is the dowry/jahez, that is, the "gifts" that have to be given to the in-laws! It's a cultural evil and it needs to be eliminated and the only way is for our generation to not give into those pressures.
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niksik - your daughters will want probably to invite 16-20 of your their closest friends and the groom and his 5 friends. You and your hubby will want to invite 150 + rishtaydaar and the whole community + masjid folks + the all us from gupshup :)
At 75 dollars per head yeah - I would agree with Sara
Re: Desi Wedding Woes
niksik - your daughters will want probably to invite 16-20 of your their closest friends and the groom and his 5 friends. You and your hubby will want to invite 150 + rishtaydaar and the whole community + masjid folks + the all us from gupshup :)
At 75 dollars per head yeah - I would agree with Sara
Yeah, @ $75 per head...no wonder girls want to invite less people, that way more money can be saved for other things, like a nicer hall or better dress/decor etc..and who can blame them?
So in conclusion both parents and daughters want to spend alot on the weddings its just both have different priorities :D
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If I have a daughter I will be happy to pay for her wedding but sure as hell not going to give hte in laws anything!
If I have a son, well I hope his susral walay are still traditional. :)
LOL!
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If I have a daughter, would I want her wedding to be beautiful? Heck yeah! Everyone does.
What I will not tolerate is any lena dena...like jahez and bari and all that. Im not going to raise a big fuss or have her do the same if she doesnt get gold to her liking or 75 outfits, etc etc etc.
Have a nice wedding, go home and get on with your life!
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wedding-related stress in south asia is unparalleled. it's all about one- upmanship. even people who resist the pressure eventually give in for fear of 'what people will say' if they don't spend x amount or keep it simple. guest lists in pakistan are endless in the quest to compensate others for the food you had at their weddings.
i think if we reconsidered our hindu roots/influences and adopted the islamic spirit when we plan weddings, people would no longer consider daughters a burden and no one would curse the birth of a female infant. the sheer cost of giving away a daughter buries parents alive in debt. islamically speaking, the groom is supposed to shoulder the wedding expenses (nikah/contract followed by valima/dinner as opposed to your average 8-event extravaganza) and there is no financial obligation on the bride or her family. if everyone started doing this, i bet the way men and women treat/relate to each other would radically change and maybe weddings would go back to being about the moment. there wouldn't be any of this "hum larki waley hain tho kum se kum ek kidney tho baichni paregi" bull****.
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Sara, nj, dammit you ar right! I already have a list of about 200 people 
so r u saying that this will happen… How should I prepare?
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start chipping away from the household budget…besides a separate fund you create for which you get official contribution from ur shohar…
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Every1 shud save for their own wedding :) been saving for mine... parents r insisting on paying but i'll be paying the bulk iA