desi totkas for conceiving soon.

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Re: desi totkas for conceiving soon.

stress is the main cause as well. it raises your prolactin levels resulting iin difficulties in getting pregnant.

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Re: desi totkas for conceiving soon.

yes it could be the stress.i'm trying so hard to take it easy but my inlaws keep asking me when you'll give us any good news.you should do this and that.etc.etc.i don't understand why people take so much interest in other lives.making it a hell for them.a marriage is not just having babies.It means a lot to a coulpe for they have to spend their whole lif together.God blesses everyone at appropiate time with kids.Don't know when our people will learn to be supportive?

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Re: desi totkas for conceiving soon.

i have talked to hubby again and again that we should live together if not 4 ever at least for a year or two.then i’ll move back to his parents but he is not agree and mother in law is also adding the comment"it can happen in one night":mad:

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Re: desi totkas for conceiving soon.

Yeh Kia jahalat hai.

It can happen in one night if it’s the right night meaning if u have ovulated. Y men marry to keep their wives at in-laws is beyond me. It’s like they want maids for their parents.

Is you husband aware of reproductive biology? If not,educate him as it would b very difficult to conceive in 2 months unless u r super fertile.

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Re: desi totkas for conceiving soon.

yes,humna i compleletly agree with you.hubby knows the reproductive biology and believes it will happen when the right time come.whenever i talked to him that i’m his wife not his parents care taker,he bursts out in anger saying i’m so selfish and hard hearted lady.:smack:what should i do in this situation?:confused:any opinions?

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Re: desi totkas for conceiving soon.

^yep what she said..I don't understand wh he is so adamant for you to be living with "his" parents... Why can't they live alone? Seriously this mindset is silly That the bahu has to live with the In laws while the husband enjoys/suffer( varies) in the different country!

N please don't be taking whatever the next door neighbor or peer Sahab gives you because i see that coming soon too from your mil!!!

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Re: desi totkas for conceiving soon.

You married your husband not the in laws? We're you aware of the fact that you will see him only once a year for 2 months? I do t remember correctly but I think islamically husband has to see his wife every 4 months even if he out at war!! But don't quote me because I don't remember for sure..it's something along those lines!!!

Honestly he is the selfish n stone hearted... Every wife must live with her husband!!

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Re: desi totkas for conceiving soon.

i am sorry u r in such a situation. living at in laws without your husband is a recipe for severe stress. he cant be happy living on his own for 10 mnths. men and women have needs and u r a married woman, he shd be trying his best so u can stay with him.

i am sorry i cant give much advice as i am not very diplomatic but i hope some1 like redvelvet comes along.
even wen inshallah u get pregnant and have a baby does he expect u to carry on and in effect be a single mom? that would be even more difficult.

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Re: desi totkas for conceiving soon.

yeah humna .you are right it wd be difficult for me to be almost a single mother but when God will bless us i will be in a strong position to convince him that i can't grow up the baby alone.and i can take a stand for me more easily.just a thought..it could be not the way i'm thinking.but i'm very hopeful that i can change things after having a baby.

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Re: desi totkas for conceiving soon.

I still find it bizarre that you're in one country and he's in another... and you tell us your married but you only see each other twice a year..?

I don't see how thats a relationship.. I see it as a fling

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Re: desi totkas for conceiving soon.

its so common here in pakistan.but its really sad for me and other girls who hv no other option other than waiting.:(

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Re: desi totkas for conceiving soon.

I really wish and hope u guys live together. InshAllah
he might end up saying u have ammi, abu they can takecare(of baby) with u. which i really hope doesn't happen. Good Luck with everything.. Dua's for u!

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Re: desi totkas for conceiving soon.

have sex.

but that’s not really a desi totka. :nono1:

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Re: desi totkas for conceiving soon.

stand up for yourself? move back to your parents?

I guess I'm being a bad advisor because I know how much my BIL hated being away from his wife and they skyped everyday till his visa was approved.
Surely he should be trying hard to get you to live with him =/ isn't that what marriage is? being together?

I don't understand a yearly sexy time is good enough for you and you want a baby that will only know his/her dad for 2mths every year? and if he takes you to spain it would only be because you bare his child
seriously thats messed up

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Re: desi totkas for conceiving soon.

It is messed up but culturally very acceptable.Makes me want to bang my head against a wall.

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Re: desi totkas for conceiving soon.

thanks kake.no i don’t think it’s a bad advice.i did it last time when he was home but things got worse and in the end my parents were also favouring him and advising me that i should move back to my home and wait for appropiate time.Things will get better with time etc.etc.etc.A girl in pakistan usually doesn’t get much support grom her own familly after marriage.people are so afraid of divorce here:smack:

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Re: desi totkas for conceiving soon.

yah a lot of messed up things are culturally acceptable but you know if your parents sent you to school then you must be educated enough to have some common sense and pride in yourself to not want to just have a title wife that actually means caretaker :)

and I do think spouses should help each others parents out but come on -.-" you don't want to be just there to procreate you are not a damn robot

Well I don't know how you're coping with this and have lasted 4years. I salute you because I wouldn't have lasted that long.

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Re: desi totkas for conceiving soon.

thanks:)

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Re: desi totkas for conceiving soon.

Education in most cases is just token. Dsnt really prepare u for a job or anything useful. One of my friends got divorced when she found out she would not be granted a visa for the forseeable future, but she is the only one i knw. She is engaged to a guy in the same country as her and is very happy.

Sigh this stuff is usually very complicated and with no finances Or support from own family I dnt think divorce is an option.

Wishing u best of luck misss

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Re: desi totkas for conceiving soon.

Well I guess missss if you want to get pregnant do it all the time lol. and go to a doctor that can collect his sperm so they can inject you every time your ovulating and he's not around.