as for the ppl who think "thank you" is fake, i can understand. like "i love you", in western society, people say polite words so much that it sounds trite after a while. Also "thank you" can sound like you think you're like a king gracing a subject with thanks (to desi ppl)...for example, it's like if someone says "shabash" to me even though it's a compliment, i get annoyed cuz im like "tum kaun ho mujhe shabash dene wale?"..u know what i mean. the other day i cleaned the kitchen and my mom said "thanks", i was like "GRR dont say thanks! its jus somethin i do!"..i guess im just weird. However i did say thanks a lot at work, but it's just habitual. like im not really thankful that the person made a purchase, mera kya jaata hai? lol.
as for ilu, my mom never says "i love you" but even other people say to her that she is a very loving mom so her love is clear, and stronger than small words. i've only said it once...and it was so much more meaningful than the flippant "omg ily" fake messages people send all the time.
i'm sorry, but i just don't understand this. saying "thank you" is only as superficial or condescending as the person its coming from and the tone of voice its said in. i can only think no one has ever offered you sincere thanks for doing something nice for them?
normally, its a really nice thing to say to someone when they've done something for you, big or small, like held the door open while you struggle through with both hands full, or when someone lets you cut in front of them at a roadblock, or when your mom makes you dinner night after night, for a big chunk of your life. believe me, she might not admit it initially, but she would love that thanks forever.
its showing someone you appreciate their effort/consideration and is a crucial part of life and manners. does the same apply to "please" or is that considered fake too?
as for "i love you", i admit, it doesn't come naturally in desi culture, esp. between parents and kids, which is a real shame, but being able to tell someone that you love them without feeling embarassed about it, is an incredibly powerful feeling. i remember how i felt when my then-bf/now-husband said it to me, and i'm grateful that every phone call with my parents ends with "love you" now. life is too short and while i know that the people i say "love you" to already know that i love them, i want to make sure i make that extra connection by voicing the words out loud.
it makes you feel good about yourself, it makes you feel whole in a way that grand gestures simply don't.
try it! you won't be disappointed! :)