Desi Muslim Dating in the West

[Sehrysh]

Re: Desi Muslim Dating in the West

@zetsui

Muslim Americans have a higher divorce rate o.O?

***Cite your sources…

but this idea that all Muslims are somehow bad, abusive without any sort of statistics … is not a way to address your own insecurities, or bettering dialogue of serious issues within our own community. I refuse to accept the idea that all Muslims men have x quality, based off of negative media stereotypes, bad experience in your first marriage,*** with which I empathize, Muslim/Pakistani/Arab men is such a diluted term and refers to a plethora of demograhics, educatoinal level (you think UK Saudi, American desis have the same place in their respective societies?), and cultures. This is bigotry and self hatred at its worst

Wait, I’m confused - didn’t you make the following sweeping generalization

@zetsui

**Why are Pakistani men such begerat?
**
Domestic violence in Pakistan is an endemic social problem. According to a study carried out in 2009 by Human Rights Watch, it is estimated that between 70 and 90 percent of women in Pakistan have suffered some form of abuse.[SUP][1]](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence_in_Pakistan#cite_note-Gosselin-1)[/SUP] Asthugfirullah. I dealt with this in my own house. Good old doctor in front of everyone my father, teaching hadith, then slapping the maulvis daughter in the face for bringing homework to him late, beating wife and kids home, neeend became haraam from hearing my khala’s name, or someone going to the kitchen late at night. Refused to let my mom see his own brothers and sisters who live 30 minutes from us in New Jersey for EIGHT years. Never leaves house/tv room, can beat his wife and kids but can’t look a gora/gori in the eye.

I would say Arabs and Pakistanis are proabbly the worst to their wives. In the states thankfully all of us who deal with stupid fathers like this, seek to learn from their mistakes, and treat our wives like princesses (what I plan to do inshallah), but why this embedded ‘kanjar menality’ in Pakistani men?

For instance in Pakjabi culture, I notice that men think that kids and wife should ‘give’ respect ot the man of the house…respect, for me, is not something given to you by your kids and wive, it is EARNED from them. Why the mentality? Is this one of the symptoms of the Arabization of Pakistan? Could someone explain?

WHat amazes me the most is how the wives who earn these slaps try to protect the husband…I remember myself and brotherw ould protect mom from her beating only to have her protect my dad, like wtf?