Re: desi and angraiz
Its ok, he doesnt know better apparently. Cap....you need to get out more and to actually get to know a gori/gora or 2 because the ones you describe are so very far from the norm that they are the small minority exception to any rule that you might have been taught. I've heard of the type of person you've described yet in all my western/gori life I've never met one such as this. And I've met many people for sure.
We are good and loving people just as Desis for the vast majority are good and loving. We're different in practice and culture but are so much the same in feelings and emotions.
I think the biggest thing perhaps is this whole elder way of life. For myself, I would never ever, no-way-no-how ever live with my sons when I get old and they are married. I want them to have their very own lives. And I've financially planned for just that case. And should something happen that the finances ran out, I for sure would go to a state-sponsored old age home before I moved in on any of my sons.
BUT...on the other side of the coin...my mom is 3 years widowed now. And it breaks my heart and stresses me out that she lives a 12 hour drive away from me. Countless times I've asked her to live with me and countless times she's turned me down. She too would go to an old age home before she lived with her kids. Not because she doesnt love us, not because we don't love her because there is much family love here. But there is also a fierce sense of independence and thats really what it all boils down to. Its just different.
How I love and admire the extended family way of life. But it will never fly in western society where fierce independence is of the utmost importance. Its like as important to westerners as the concept of honor is to desis.
Theres good and theres bad in either way of life. Yet we are all the same as far as what we feel and how we love.