Depression

Lifestyle Relationships
1

I think I am suffering of depression. alwasy feeling sad, lonely and taking everything too serious.

what can I do to get out of it?

2

Re: Depression

get urself bzz in work, activities u like, family and religion :k:

3

Re: Depression

I work fulltime, married. dont have my family or in-laws in this city. I know a lot of ppl in this city but dont consider them as close friends. I dont trust ppl to consider them my friends due to bad experiences long time back...

4

Re: Depression

You cannot rely on other people to get you out of your current mood. You need to be proactive and take action. I think we all advised you on various ways to keep yourself busy in your new hometown .... did you take anybody's advice on ways to keep yourself busy? You need to keep your mind occupied elsewhere.

5

hobbies

6

Re: Depression

Pick up a hobby you like or enjoy.

You dont have to be super close to someone to have a good time. You can go out with girlfriends, keep it light and enjoy yourself at the same time.

Workout...exercise helps with depression.

7

Hey Chameli,

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't your last thread about meeting in-laws/relatives that were harboring a grudge toward you because you chose to marry someone of your choice? If so, how did that turn out? I hope it's still not an issue because it was quite a while ago.

What do you think is causing the depression. Sometimes if we find the root cause, it can help understand the situation better. Are you depressed because you haven't fulfilled a particular goal? Are you satisfied with your marriage? If not, then maybe you can try to sort out issues with your husband? Is it the people around you (in-laws/relatives) that are bringing you down? If so, then understand that you can't change them. You can only change your reaction to them, and that means not letting people who don't pay your bills get under your skin.

Here are some other suggestions:

1) Make sure that you're taking a daily multi-vitamin. Certain vitamins such as (B-complex) are also known to stabilize mood. And it has been found that some patients who had depression are lacking in these vitamins.

2) Exercise. It'll keep you fit/healthy. It raises your endorphin levels so you feel happy.

**
3)** Pray namaz regularly and read Quran regularly. I know that I struggle with this. But, reflect over ALL the blessings that Allah has given you......things that we often take for granted (our iman, food, clothes, family, health, etc).......and think about the thousands of people in this world who don't even have such basic needs.....and live day in and day out in such deprived conditions.

**4) **Volunteer work is often suggested by therapists because it can help to stave off depression. It's free and you can participate according to your time schedule. Go volunteer at a hospital, homeless shelter, school, etc. It uplifts the spirit to know that you're being useful to someone.

**5) **Keep yourself occupied with hobbies and other interests. Join a gym. Join a yoga, dance, cooking, pottery, knitting, painting class. Take a class at a uni/college of your interest. Consider going back to school for a different degree. One of my desi friends took a cooking class while she was pregnant so she could learn some culinary techniques as she's fond of cooking. Do some art activities at home. Tap into your creative side and work on writing a book for children or adults. How about designing your home? Sometimes a change in environment can help. Paint the walls a different color, rearrange the furniture, come up with different color schemes, etc.

6) Get away for a while. Take a road trip with some of your girlfriends if possible. Make it a Girls Week Out. Or take a vacation with your hubby. Hang out with family and friends. If you can't get too far away......go to the movies with them, or shopping, etc.

7) Make a list of things you've always wanted to try. You can make the list with your husband.........and try to cross of one item from your list each week. Let's say, for example, that you've always wanted to try Thai food. Then one week, you can go try Thai food. Or maybe you always wanted to watch a certain movie that you never got around to........maybe that could be something you can tackle over the weekend. Maybe you always wanted to try scuba diving or indoor skydiving.......that's something that you can look into.

8) If you're down because of goals that haven't been fulfilled. Maybe it's because sometimes we have unreasonable expectations or an unreasonable time frame for those goals. So break your goal down into shorter, more achievable steps....and set sensible deadlines for them.

9) If you've tried the above suggestions, then you can try consulting a doctor or therapist. Although, I don't personally feel comfortable with the idea of using drugs (on a consistent) basis. Try other methods/changes first.

8

Re: Depression

Take anti-depressants :chai:World is a cruel place with *****es and *******s all over the place. Someone will continue to make you depressed your whole life. You need a foreign agent to help you aka the happy pills. :chai:

9

watch this :phati:

10

Re: Depression

I agree with redvelvet's point number 6... go on a vacation.
I was getting all depressed last year, took a vacation and went to Pakistan, worked like a charm :)

11

This has to work!

12

Re: Depression

No vacation medicine or hobby can help you get out of this Depression. Like you mentioned in your post
[QUOTE]
I dont trust ppl to consider them my friends due to bad experiences long time back...
[/QUOTE]

You need closure. Either forgive or forget them because its their loss.

I know you get my point.

13

Re: Depression

Make a list of all the positive things that have happened in your life.
When feeling low or lonely - Read each of them slowly, visualizing the good times.
Loud music - also blocks out negative thoughts.

If it's really bad & uncontrollable - talk to your Doctor!!.

14

Re: Depression

While the advice provide is good. There core reason is missing. Why are you feeling depressed. You can keep yourself busy, you can go on vacation, you can ignore it but even after all of that if you still have the root cause there. That is what you need to address.

Why are you depressed? Also depression is not much of a disease. It is more of a state of mind. One only you can address. One where you need to work on yourself and keep yourself busy mentally to figure out what is wrong.

Is it work? Is it life? Is it the kids? What is it that causes you to be depressed?

15

Re: Depression

chameli...leave your home dirty for a week or 2...then on one saturday..clean everything..bathrooms..kitchen..bed rooms..vacuum and laundry...then take a long bath...make your fvt food...

and then change setting of your bed room or may be curtains and bed sheets..your dressing table setting....you will feel a change for sure..and while working A to Z..depression will be finish Insha ALLAH..

trut me it worked for me :D...

16

Re: Depression

^ nice suggestion !

17

Re: Depression

Are you feeling lonely, sand and depressed because you have moved to a new city? that is normal to happen when a person moves to a new city!

You and your hubby should trying going out as a couple, have fun together. Not everyone is the same so try to let go of what happened in the past. I am not saying forget your past because that was a lesson learned a life experience but you cant dwell over those people forever.

Dont start taking anti -depressants right off the bat alot of them have side effects which are suicidal thoughts... try to uplift your mood without them first.. mean while do go to a doctor get complete blood work who knows maybe some hormone levels are off.. and RV has some great suggestions!!

18

Re: Depression

oh and we are all here if you need to vent, talk, or get advice =) :hug:

19

Re: Depression

no one n nothing has a control to make u happy but u urself...

take a conscious effort to smile in small things...

if u see flowers while walking stop n pause n smile..

if u see a lil gurl hug her mom tighly with love..pause n smile & feel the love..

be a kid once in a while & give ur self time to enjoy with ur self in a candy store or the metro or jus sipping coffee in ur backyard..

keep pausing ur life to consciously smile n feel the love in the air!

i have gone through my share of depression n i changed myself to a gurl who dosnt get depressed at all mashallah it all happened cuz i made myself happy! lifes too short to spend it being depressed u missing out on something valuable..

20

Thank you all for your advices:)

I have thought a lot about the reasons for my depression and found out that the main reasons are:

  • havent had closures of friendships that just didnt work out when I got married and moved to a new city. I still dont understand what happened and I have tried contacting one of me 'best friends' through 15 years but she is cold and rejecting so i guess its really time to move on....

  • I find it difficult to make new friends.I seek deep understanding in new friendships but I guess I should be happy to have that with my hubby and just hang out with other ppl, hav fun and not be looking for that kind of deep relationships with others....

  • hubby is veryyyyyyy busy meaning that I have started feeling even more lonely

  • we dont have kids and I desparetly want a baby..please make dua everyone.

  • I miss my parents and siblings

  • I am in a job where things have been very challenging and I have been fighting to keep my position clear meaning I am exhausted when i get home from work...

  • I am involved in volunteer work to get to know ppl but ppl havent been very welcoming and often we just finish off the meetings and dont really bond. I have decided to cut it out from my life and find something else to do...

So I have decided to

  • have one day a week where me n hubby do something special.we go out and have fun
  • reduce volunteer work and find new hobbies
  • pray salah and recite Quran regularly inshaAllah
  • exercise more to feel good
  • have a health check up to figure out if i have vitamine deficiencies...
  • call my parents, siblings and other friends more often
  • have less expectations from ppl

pls pray all goes well and I get out of this depression....