How it destroys life, character and soul yet the Asian community shy away from even accepting it’s existence. Fair enough me and you might ‘gettit’ but elders don’t. Heck, explaining to someone who hasn’t experienced it is like squeezing blood out of a stone. Banging your head against the wall, not being understood and needing so badly to be understood. I don’t know how many have ever fallen prey to this damned ‘illness’ as most would call it but it really fricks your life up.
Though it’s not diagnosed i’m sure i’m suffering. Feel so psychotic can’t possibly tell you. Why is it so embarrasing to suffer from sadness lol i feel like a right dive but nevertheless first steps are in acceptance of a probem. I think i’m on my third episode in 5 years…never realised what it was before. Waved it off as a bad spell and managed to get through…this time it’s longer, more deabilitating and definetly affecting me more. Psychologists, do they just mess your head up more? As if you need that LOL you feel so messed up as it is. Medication, does that just give you more emptiness ? I don’t want to be scaring the more happier lot out there but sharing and listening and absorbing have a nice relaxing sort of effect ( for me anyway ). Btw, how many of you think depression is just a silly invention ? Like it’s something being made out of nothing. Problem created when there is none. I must stop asking too much, i’ll have you thinking i’m manic by the end of this. Chalo, shush from here…your turn now.
Re: Depression
Well, Depression is a serious illness. Many people suffer from this. In fact, it used to be number one cause people take time off from work. It is a vicous cycle as depression causes one to be unable to participate in life and being unable to do much causes further depression. It's not like a broken arm or leg that people can see and empthasize with. So people often feel that others don't understand the seriousness of their illness. People usually try to find a cause for their illness; and sometimes there is none. If the depression is mild, therapy is often quite beneficial. However, sometimes medication is needed. Like most other medications, medications for depression also cause side-effects. Though they are rare and vary from person to person. The good thing is that there are various types of medications so if one particular medication doesn't work for you, chances are that another will. Depression causes severe disability and my prayers are with those who have to suffer because of it.
Re: Depression
i admit i have had this problem .....sometimes when i diagnosed myself with depression i asked myself to just shut up ....as if i didn't want to accept .....
sometimes i fell prey to self pity ....oh wait i think depression comes after developing this self pity problem
anyway, i'm my own psychologist ....no outsider can know me more than me ......n i've dealt with the problem ....alhamdulillah
can't say about anyone else but for me , my depression was simply unthankfulness to Allah ....while i had sooooo many reasons to thank
just when i started evaluating myself ......n found out in how many ways i was more bestowed than any other person around me ....i was out of depression
Re: Depression
and then i think am i just making my feelings up? could i suffer something as serious ? Ughh i hate myself..
Thanks dopey chanda
Re: Depression
It really depresses me to see a happy, chatterbox person like you posting such a topic. Depression is as real as it gets. The key to fighting depression is to know what works for you reading, praying, talking, sharing …what ever. Do you know the core reason for feeling down? It better not be your bayqasoor bechara husband or Denmark. 
It is an illness and you shouldn’t have to convince anyone about it. However it is something that is not good for you. There are medications for it but avoid them as much as you can. You have everything a girl can dream of..count your blessings aur khush rha karo. 
Re: Depression
hey DD - it's normal, just desis don't ever admit it, they tend to hide it.
I never remember anything untoward about the way my mother acted when my family first moved to the UK in 1988 , but she was talking about it a few months ago and mentioned that for her first 2 years in London she was deeply depressed with how things turned out.
Re: Depression
afia baji janum, its nice to hear you snapped yourself out of it. Like i did for two days. The tsnuamis made me grateful for whatever little i had and then world got all hazy again on me and the invisible barrier between me and everyone else rose again...
But to wish you die each time you hear someone died, to cry not because your sad that your cousins dead but why Allah took someone who didn't want to go and left you to suffer on, and for your head to feel so heavy and burdened that walking few steps can seem so tiring, everything requires effort...and just wanting to curl up under your duvet, remain undistubred and shrivel into dust.
And then soon as you are able to smile thinking your mind was playing up and you are just fine and the break you were waiting for has come...but it never really has.
Re: Depression
Fayz, heheheeheheheheh, INSHALLAH that ducka will retun ;) I will make sure of it. I smie when i think of the happier times..at least through out this crap my past can raise a smile. And na hubby aint got nothign to do with it...bas my minds gone for a walk...
Dex, your mums brave. much moreso than me. I don' usually have the energy to smile, talk, go anywhere, do myself up...can't be arsed with anything. sisters here so feel a little cheered up..and even though i initially didnt mention it to anyone...they can see my sadness, no informing needed.
Re: Depression
DD dear…i bet you don’t know what a suffering means …!!
don’t mean to offend you …but count on your blessings …i’m sure you have some valid reasons to feel so down …but don’t you think you’ve got an enormously supportive sis …n parents …!! you know there r many girls out there who can’t share their problems even with themselves…!!!
feel good !
Re: Depression
Hey Ducky, Dopey is right, and Fayz has given you some good advice too. Please talk to someone - your sister, friend, hubby and if that doesnt help, try talking to an alim/alima at the masjid, that is if you dont want to see a psychologist. There is always a reason for depression, some people are more prone to it than others.
Try to keep yourself busy. I hope you are either studying or working? Else if you just sit at home, you can get lost in your thoughts and sink into more of a depressed state.
If you think going home helps, take a weekend off and go home, try to see someone there. Dont ignore it, deal with it, find the problem and learn to move on. InshAllah you will be fine. 
Re: Depression
man you guys are full of fun here
Re: Depression
Depression is real chanda and us desi completely disregard it maybe because years ago they didnt have enough knowledge about it to treat it as psychiatrist werent readily avalible so we blamed it all on kala jadoo n jinns. Now that desi people are becoming aware of it, its hard to swallow that we can actually have the 'gora bemari" n we just treat as if its nuthin except for nakray baazi.. sigh
People have given u great advice, talkin helps, n see someone if u need to.. it helps.
Re: Depression
Afia...you are correct. Spirituality plays a big role in how people deal with their daily stressors. And research has proven that people who are close to religion tend to be better able to cope with various stressful events. Thus they do not suffer from depression as much as others who are not in touch with their spirituality.
Re: Depression
Depression is another name for lack of control over things
we feel are rocketing out of our control. Be in control of yourself
by knowing how to control and acquire whatever makes you happy.
Sometimes a successful and only way of doing it is to put yourself before
everyone else.
The faster you realize what you have to control
The faster you can actually start controlling it
The faster you'll be able to eliminate this problem
or reduce it.
Increasing/returning depression is dangerous.
Re: Depression
.
Re: Depression
firstly you’re not making this up. I know that whenever Im depressed the first thing I question is if Im doing that.. so I guess its a common enough side effect.
dont rely on people who dont understand you to understand. dunno how much sense that made.. but people who do not understand what depression is probably wont give you good advice about it.
try relying on fewer people for advice/counsel. Im not saying cut yourself completely off from others, but try to rely more on yourself. we always allow ourselves to get depressed by letting one feeling overwhelm us. perhaps if you conciously consulted yourself when this was about to happen you’d be the first and most compelling voice asking you to stop, and saying the whole of you is bigger than this feeling.
dunno I just woke up and have a headache so im incoherent.
goodluck
Re: Depression
Hey hun
Everyone seems to ahve given you really good advice, try listening to some of it. You’ve gone through a lot of changes this last year, and its bound to take some getting used to. As people have said before me, the key is to talk to others - don’t you dare bottle things up. Chin up bab, if people like you end up suffering from depression then what hope is there for miserable gits like me? 
Love ya xxxx
As a side note, i don’t think depression is buried under the carpet in the Asian community. Almost every Pakistani mother I visit as part of my job tells me ‘beti, menu depression eh’. It appears to be the thing to have in Pakistani women these days.
Re: Depression
And have you noticed how desi men consider diagnosis of depression as a threat to their machoness? Just like they are told at every step of their life that 'men don’t cry' .. it is also engraved in their conscious that men can handle sissy little emotional distractions.
Re: Depression
DD, you’ve gotten some good advice here, particularly from Fayz.
You recognize that there is a problem. You need to figure out the root cause of it if you haven’t done so already. It is also important for you to be able to express yourself … be it through writing, singing, talking to someone, etc. … if you internalize it and carry on as normal instead of dealing with it head on, it’ll get worse.
Sadi Sobi is right: You have been through so much changes over the past year … it’s going to take a while to get used to it. Given the situation you are in, I really don’t think it’s abnormal for you to be experiencing depression, loneliness, sadness, etc.
Check your PM.
Re: Depression
Disco Duck
I am depressed too honey. :(