This is a questions to guys but girls can answer too, no worries.
Is it a deal breaker for guys if a girl belongs to a dysfunctional family & has depression?
Re: Depression & dysfunctional family
Depression no…If anything I would try to help her with her depression. Having a partner and a friend can really help with depression I feel. Of course sometimes depression is biochemical so it really also depends on the type of depression he/she has. But being depressed is not a deal breaker for me thats for sure.
Dysfunctional family maybe?..it depends if its the immediate family, if the immediate family is dysfunctional that can cause problems/headache in the future…but if its issues with extended family I could careless…
What really matters is how much input does the guys family have in the decision making process. Some marriages are also a marriage between families. So a dysfunctional family would be a deal breaker to some. Another point is how close is the family going to be. I doubt you’ll have to deal with dysfunctional family if you live on the other side of the world or the other side of the state/province for that matter.
Re: Depression & dysfunctional family
I think for girls it’s different. If I was marrying into a dysfunctional family I think it would be tough and I would try to avoid it.
Girls are told to ‘keep the family together’ and are ‘marrying into the family’ so to marry into something that’s broken and all over the place would take a lot of work. She would need to be emotionally, physically and spiritually strong unless there was a way to disengage with the family if it was overbearing. Marriages to me at least are a union of families so it’s important to know what you’re getting into and be responsible enough to understand the people involved and their situations. Also, most people are a product of their surroundings and are a sum of the people closest to them. If the prospect was brought up in a dysfunctional family, then what does that say about them? Unless that person ended up totally different, which can happen, it would be wise to know how the dysfunction has affected him/her.
As for depression, that’s tough too. It would depend on the person and if they acknowledged the issue and wanted help then I would be supportive and would help them. Whereas some people suffer from mental health issues and do nothing to change their situation. Living with someone like that can take a toll on your mental and emotional well being which isn’t ideal.
Finding a mature spouse is so important for both scenarios.
Also, at the end of everything if this is someone I really like and think I can spend the rest of my life with I can probably overlook a lot of things, so it really depends! 
Re: Depression & dysfunctional family
Even if people say they really really love someone and it does not matter. But the point is it matters, when it comes to make decision they will leave if the girl is super nice but from dysfunctional family.
Re: Depression & dysfunctional family
Well sometimes coming from a dysfunctional family can cause personality disorders and for some guys that can be overwhelming.
Re: Depression & dysfunctional family
Then how do you deal with your own family situation? How do you make it better?
Re: Depression & dysfunctional family
That’s your own responsibility.
Re: Depression & dysfunctional family
I think we all have dysfuntional families, some less, some more & we all go through depression in our lives at some stage again some less, some more.
The point is these things doesn’t make anyone “achoot” that no one should marry them or should run away from them. May be they have more idea about life that how chitty it can get & how to tackle these problems than others who have lived goody goody/happy happy life (which is next to impossible in this imperfect world). I think people need to change this attitude of going & looking for perfection because thats impoosible, no one is perfect.
If depression or dysfunctional family of someone is a deal breaker then thats mere stupidity. You never know whats in the future. What if someone gets married with someone from decent family & of sound mind & things still dont work out for them & they get depression afterwards & end up raising a dysfunctional family? I have seen families like that.
Re: Depression & dysfunctional family
What is the definition of a ‘dysfunctional family’?
Re: Depression & dysfunctional family
Varies from person to person/ family to family I think. What is dysfunctional for me might be normal for someone else.
Re: Depression & dysfunctional family
Isn’t it a disservice to your future kids if you aren’t well?
Re: Depression & dysfunctional family
No one can say that for sure. What if someone with sound mind wouldn’t be able to raise her kids well? & its not like depression stays forever.
And I always see people saying depressed people wont be able to raise their kids well what about obese people? Are they physically active & healthy enough to reproduce, breast feed & raise a child?
Why someones mental health is of more concern than someones physical health?
Re: Depression & dysfunctional family
If obesity can lead you to commit suicide then sure, lets ban obese marriages as well.
Re: Depression & dysfunctional family
Its not about banning, depression can be reduced just like obesity. Well in this other forum I read about this NUST engineer commiting suicide because of unemployment.
Re: Depression & dysfunctional family
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Hell yes it is a dealbreaker. I have spent all my life dealing with a dysfunctional family, so there is no way I’ll marry someone who belongs to one and on top of that cannot even stand up to them.
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This is going to be a gray area for me. Depression can get pretty bad and ~love~ can only do so much. It’s not that some people do not deserve love because they are too “difficult” but sometimes they have to heal themselves with other methods because a relationship is going to be work. Both sides will have to bring something to it, and if someone is emotionally unavailable it will create a problem. Sometimes a relationships can be too much for something suffering from mental illness to deal with. So, it is going to depend on the person and how self aware they are about their ability to be in a relationship.
Re: Depression & dysfunctional family
ANYONE can develop depression. What is the guarantee that you or I won’t?
However, if I’m being completely honest, don’t know how I would react if I was in that situation. It would depend on other factors and how interested I was in the guy - if I really liked him and this was the only thing I may well overlook it. If I was unsure about him, it may just tip the balance the other way.
Re: dysfunctional family - if they had a lot of input into his (and therefore my!) life, it’d definitely be a deal-breaker. If they did their own thing, without much intervening, I’d consider it very carefully.