I was reading DA’s thread, and how she is having so much trouble managing her new home. Even though I am not married yet, but I felt like i am in a very similar situation. I never truly realized that a girl is supposed to know how to manage her house regardless of what degree she holds. So all my life, all i have done so far is finish my education. I dont know how to cook. I doubt it that I have ever done laundry. I dont iron. I have never managed to buy grocery etc. I can’t sew nor create any crafts. My mom used to tell me that I should do all this, but she never forced me. So at this point, I feel that before I get married, I need to learn all this otherwise i am going to be in same situation as DA. But on the other hand, i feel it’s mom’s fault. She never forced me. I feel like i am a useless person. I dont have any hobbies, and even at this point I dont know how can I learn all this.
Well dont panic cuz where there is a will there is a way. You mother perhaps didnt push you to do all those things cuz she must have not want to divert your attention from your studies. I know same is the case with me but now that i have graduated my family wants me to be active in household activities and i agree with them.
See i detest cooking but i learnt a liitle bit though i still dont cook. See we being the women know that we can be docs, engineers or whatever but at the end of the day if somebody needs to cook it wl be us not our husband or kids. Even if we have maids n cooks we need to know the art in oder to get it done right. And believe me its no big deal....don't get upset or panic because the big thing is that u understand the importance of knowing how to do all these things and thats good enough for you to start with.
Cooking i believe is veryyyy easy and you can learn it in 1 day ofcourse u wl develop your own style n wl need to cook couple of times to get the jest of it. And laundry is very easy too so is ironing. Believe me i have not learnt any of these but when u know u have to do it u will. Atleast thats how it is with me...for example i like taking up my time waking in the morning but when i was in uni i know there were so many days when i went to uni without a min of sleep. So u know when it comes to you, you will manage if you expect the fact that you have to do it. But its a wise decision to start learning and making those changes now so that you dont feel too burderned after marriage as marriage itself brings about alot of changes and need for adjustment n all.
Why don’t you realize that she has given you the education to do whatever you wish to do now and in future?
If you have not done anything before then BIG DEAL! None of us girls who went to college did anything while in college.
There is time for everything. Use your education and become wiser instead of blaming it on your mom - a very uneducated opinion from you - me thinks
It’s okay if you did not do any of the above - because we ALL “catch up” like a crash course on home skill and TA DA!!! we manage by till we become experts…
Now shu!!! Go and start making changes today. First start with your name: From Barbie doll to WORKINGDOLL!!! Then go for laundry, clean up your room, and then when your mom is cooking go and observe what she does and learn! Simple!!!
DA's situation is very different. It appears that her in-laws had issues with her marrying their son, their son had issues with marrying DA, DA had issues about marrying into the family etc, etc.
DA was living in an unrealistic dreamland where she ignored reality and plodded on right into the abyss.
When it comes to your marriage I don't suppose u would walk into the mouth of a hungry lion's den knowing that the chances are it will have u for lunch?
No, when u marry into a household where the family WANTS u there, AND you are willing to COMPROMISE and fit into that household, u shouldn't have problems. LEARN AS U GO ALONG. Also a supportive husband helps.
If u can try to learn some household management in the meantime, go for it, it's never too late. If u r physically fit, there is nothing stopping you from being able to pull your weight wherever u live.
Housework and cooking are not rocket science here. Buy a good cookbook, choose a recipe, get ingredients and follow the recipe. Easy-peasy. Once you've followed a few recipes, you'll begin to get braver and adjust ingredients and spices to your liking. Same with any other household task. If you have a task that you do not know how to accomplish, either get out the userguide (ie., for washing machine) or google it (ie. how best to clean a wood floor)...if you see things out of place, put them where they belong. Make your bed each day. Wipe down countertops. If its dirty, clean it.
It isnt the actual tasks that are difficult - its the actual doing of the tasks week after week.
That's nothing to worry about. I learned cooking, laundry, ironing and grocery shopping in the span of a month. Well the grocery shopping is still debatable but the rest I learned pretty quickly. While I think I do a good job with it, my wife doesn't trust me. They taught us sewing in home economics class when I was in high school.
Its not hard!! and there so many things you can make thats already made!! All these curry's are already made you jus add meat you have naans ready you have rice ready!! you even have sweet dishes ready!!
Why you gonna get depressed about that? Seriously if us women think like this no wonder inlaws etc walk all over us!
I can only cook one curry and i'm happy with that. No sweet dishes nothing else.
As for sewing?........ Its not your mums fault . you wud have made it her fault wether she forced you or not!!
So why not learn? You have plenty of time to learn, in fact people never stop learning and developing skills. Just because you don't do these things now it doesn't mean that you will have difficulty in picking them up quickly. They're actually quite simple tasks, try not to over think them and get on with doing them.
You can't blame your mum. Unfortunately as children we complain when our parents tell us to do something and then when we're not told to something we blame them for not forcing it upon us. If you're educated then you are old enough to have done these things of your own initiative.
I was reading DA's thread, and how she is having so much trouble managing her new home. Even though I am not married yet, but I felt like i am in a very similar situation. I never truly realized that a girl is supposed to know how to manage her house regardless of what degree she holds. So all my life, all i have done so far is finish my education. I dont know how to cook. I doubt it that I have ever done laundry. I dont iron. I have never managed to buy grocery etc. I can't sew nor create any crafts. My mom used to tell me that I should do all this, but she never forced me. So at this point, I feel that before I get married, I need to learn all this otherwise i am going to be in same situation as DA. But on the other hand, i feel it's mom's fault. She never forced me. I feel like i am a useless person. I dont have any hobbies, and even at this point I dont know how can I learn all this.
**
exactlyyyy..i have 101% the same fears coz i never ever did any chores...never ever in my life..am afraid too now:(**
Mothers should have their daughters cooking and cleaning soon after they can start walking. I don't know why she ignored all that, but it was a mistake on her part.
It's really not that big of a deal. When i was young my mother used to say "no one will marry you if you cant cook." I had a rolling pin when i was 5. But now i realize, she was wrong. Cooking is easy and its important but it's not the basis of a marriage.
Anyway, you just have to learn the basics and you'll have enough knowledge to move on to the harder stuff. Don't stress yourself. My bhabhi didn't know how to cook because her mother didn't teach her either, when she got married, my mom taught her everything and she enjoyed it actually. It brought them closer.
Ironing doesnt require any "knowledge" and cleaning is easy as well. Just watch cooking shows/ask your mom to teach you a new dish every week. My friend is getting married next October and ive been helping her learn since her saas is a bit crazy about the cooking part. I guess it depends on the house you marry into. If your saas is understand then its fine.
guys its not that hard to cook ... i'm a guy who lived on campus for 4 years and for me i use to take enough food from home that i didn't need to cook ... us room mates started cookin whn we were tired of the food we brought from home and after a couple of times googling recipes and shan masalas you get the hang of things and its not really that hard ... as for the laundry open your laundry machine and there is a diagram on it tellin u how to do ... VERY SIMPLEEE ... trust me .... and ironing is not hard either follow the crease and thats it ... as for sewing and stuff that i don't know but i don't think thats too hard either ... u just gotta put some time into it
you guys are right, I still have time to save myself. But the problem is that my mom is a housewife. So she cooks everyday. she really can't stay free. She has to be doing something or other. So she ends up cooking, and I feel that cooking is already done. I dont have anything to cook now, for i feel that cooking another dish would be wasting it. So I can't figure out how to get into the learning process.
As far as following a recipe, I tried. I even tried following my mom's recipes, but even after doing everything my food still doesn't taste the way my mom's does.
its not gonna taste the same cuz everyone has their own taste ... i don't kno why but it always turns out slightly different from person to person ... and after you cook a few times you'll get a hand of it ... nxt time ur moms cookin just tell her to instruct you and u'll do the cookin ... simple
its not gonna taste the same cuz everyone has their own taste ... i don't kno why but it always turns out slightly different from person to person ... and after you cook a few times you'll get a hand of it ... nxt time ur moms cookin just tell her to instruct you and u'll do the cookin ... simple
it's not hard but these are life skills and i'm surprised your parents neglected teaching you them. unless you can afford full time maids etc, everyone is going to have to do chores at some point in life. yea, it's no biggy and easy to learn, i think it's more the integration that's the problem. once you get to a certain age it's can be difficult to start integrating housework and cooking into your life without it seeming like a big headache because you have to take time out to do them.
i really think they should bring home economics back into school for both sexes.
i'm grateful that everyone in our family was made to do our own things from a young age; making your bed, cleaning your room, ironing your own clothes. my brothers know how to cook too, even though they live at home and have mummy to do all that. they can all sew too, lol.
anyway, you need to put a day or two a week aside, agreed with your mum, where you will do the cooking so she knows not to cook. she can instruct you to begin with and as you get confidence, you can do dishes on your own.
Then go for laundry, clean up your room, and then when your mom is cooking go and observe what she does and learn! Simple!!! 