In our so called undefined and mixed culture there r always lists of demands by the Boy’s family when they agree to marry the girl.
Most of these demands r often presented after the “rishta” orengagement is done. never before!!!
Why canot demands be from the Girly side after all she is equal partener and have equal rights.
e.g I know some ppl who immediately put ban on girls job after the marriage without taking in to consideration her opinion.And the athetic soul has to do it to save her marriage! Ah what a world we live in.
i hope your parents do’nt suffer from this delimma when it comes to your marriage(i am assuming you a girl)or at least do’nt notify you if there R one’s!
Sure it is not the case every time. Sometimes boy's parents would say: We don't want anything but you can give your daughter whatever you want. I think these are still demands nicely coated in sugar.
so we talk about dowry. generally speaking, dowry is some gift you give to the newly wed couple to get a head start on their life.
as was thought in pre islamic times in the arab world, girls were a burden and were disposed off as soon as possible (sold, loan repayment etc). the same has prevailed in the indian subcontinent since centuries. where dowry comes in is, the boy's family is actually doing a favor to the girls family by taking their girl (also known as their "burden"). so the boy's family demands such and such things for undertaking that job.
ofcourse we desi muslims have very conveniently picked up that tradition, alongwith many other vices from the hindu religeon (eg the caste system).
as for your question, mm10. only if someone could educate our "buzurgs" and maybe feed them with some islamiat books. maybe then dowry abuse could really end.
i hope your parents do’nt suffer from this delimma when it comes to your marriage(i am assuming you a girl)or at least do’nt notify you if there R one’s!