Airhead (er*hed) n.
What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
Argument (argyoument) n.
A discussion that occurs when you’re right, but he just hasn’t realized it
yet.
Bar-be-que (barbiq) n.
You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced
the onions, marinated the meat, and cleaned everything up, but, he, “made
the dinner.”
Blonde jokes (blond joks) n.
Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
Childbirth (child*brth) n.
You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand
and say, “Focus… breath…push… Good Girl!”
Diet Soda (dyit soda) n.
A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a pound of M&M chocolate
covered peanuts.
Eternity (eterni*tee) n.
The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise (exersiz) v.
To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n.
Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate
again. See also “Magician.”
Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n.
Similar to a black hole in space… if he goes in, he isn’t coming out
anytime soon.
Park (park) v./n.
Before children, a verb meaning, “to go somewhere romantic.” After
children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
Patience (pa*shens) n.
The most important ingredient for dating, marriage, and children. See also
“tranquilizers.”
Valentine’s Day (valentinez dae) n.
A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance,
but consider yourself lucky to get a card.
Waterproof Mascara (wahtrpruf maskarah) n.
Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to
remove it.
Zillion (zil*yen) n.
The number of times you ask someone male to take out the trash, then end up
doing it yourself anyway.
ND