Working on a project for a social welfare organisation running schools in less priviledged areas of Pakistan. The idea of the project is ‘soch se Taqdeer’. Its about creating hope and making children think about their destiny positively.
How do you define ‘success’? Is it all about earning 6-7 digits Salary, having levish accommodation and cars.
Re: Defining Success to children
For me it’s about doing something which you enjoy and are good at, provide some good to humanity and it allows you to have your basic needs covered and not be dependent on anyone. That’s financial success for me.
Re: Defining Success to children
good points
Re: Defining Success to children
Difficult question.
Isn’t success defined by one’s state of happiness?
Re: Defining Success to children
state of happiness is more difficult to define. May be being satisfied in life is happiness and success, but to convey this to children from less privileged class for motivating them is a little bit difficult. I need something more definite that children could relate to themselves.
Re: Defining Success to children
Contentment/Satisfaction.Reminds me of a saying by Hazarat Ali (RA): There are only way two to stay happy in life, Like what you have or have what you like.
Teach them how to be satisfied or teach them to strive.
Re: Defining Success to children
I think it would be a tricky thing to teach the already deprived children to be content on what they have. The children are from poor background, who assist their families in cleaning jheenga (fish) and get Rs 25 per Kg (taking time of 2 hours). We were told that most of the children come to school with injured hands and the principal has to apply oinment and creams on most of the children hands before starting classes.
Under the circumstances, they need to be motivated. We need to make them aware of certain opportunities without being unrealistic. Of course, no one can get what he wishes for, but we have to create a hope that something can be achieved and they can break the boundaries of poverty surrounding them
Re: Defining Success to children
Motivation is good. But one needs to address root cause of problem. Onyx 2-3% of folks in Indo- Pak pay taxes. Rich get richer and poor get poorer. That needs to be addressed. Else it will be empty words.
Good for you that you are helping the kids. May your Allah bless you and bless them.
Re: Defining Success to children
i think you need to show them something tangible that their efforts can achieve. you are being very realistic and i really admire this initiative.
Re: Defining Success to children
Maybe the first step (in parallel withehat you are doing) is to collect money and ensure these children don’t have to work before coming to school.without this, I am afraid motivational talk will have little effect.
Re: Defining Success to children
You’re successful if you’ve been honest and worked hard in almost every aspect of your life: school, relationships and work. You’re also successful if you’re content with the type of person you’ve become and your character. So build yourself a strong character and work hard at everything. That’s success.
Re: Defining Success to children
For showing them something tangible we will arrange their meeting with a hero speaker, who will tell them his/her story of ups and downs in life and how they faced the things positively.
We will also take them to some workplace (bank, factory, etc) to give them an exposure of practicle life. In previous sessions, a girl asked the question while viisiting a Bank ‘kia Banks main ladkiyan bhi kaam kar sakti hain’? This is what the concept behind the project to make children aware of new opportunities.
Re: Defining Success to children
arranging / providing money for children got some negative impacts. There was a boy who was good at sewing and tailoring. He was getting education and when he met a mentor, he requested for some money so that he can open a shop. The mentor arranged for money and he opened a tailor shop. He started earning but left education. After a while, due to people he met at his shop, he started gambling, etc and suffered losses in business.
One of the ‘Do nots’ we were made aware of on the first day was not to commit for any monetary help to children, because on one side it affects self respect of the child and on other side it may create situation as mentioned above
Re: Defining Success to children
:k:
Re: Defining Success to children
There will be negative examples always. To me it is simple. If kids have to work and then come to school they cannot cope. The money does not have to be given to the kids directly. Just by paying the kids’ family’s rent, money can be freed up so kids don’t have to work.
Will some parents abuse this. And still send kids to work? Yes. But will MOST parents do what is in kids’ best interest? A resounding YES.
It is high time we think about the disadvantaged families with respect t. And not be patronizing - and assume financial in-kind support (rent paid for in this case) will be abused.
They are looking to succeed. Up yo us to provide tools. Mere words, in the absence of PRACTICAL help, will make us feel better. But do nothing for the kids.
Re: Defining Success to children
For the kids of this age and background success should not be perceived as destiny but just a milestone. Trying to instill an ideology that can link “success and happiness”, without really understating happiness is dangerous for kids.
Re: Defining Success to children
The organisation looks at the problem from different perspective. Its about making people realise whats their problems are and how to tackle that independently. The organisation was formed by a group of friends by analysing that all the problems exist due to lack of education and thats why they started schools in less priviledged areas to provide quality education.
They want to make children independent without loosing self respect. After matriculations, they try to give opportunity to the students to work for call centres, etc. We were given an example of girl to portray the philosophy of being independent.
The girl’s mother was chained at home on the context that she was haunted by a Jin / aaseb. The girl discussed this with her mentor and said that she read somewhere that its a curable disease and asked for help. The mentor alongwith organisers arranged for appointment of doctor, but asked the girl (class 8th student) to take her mother herself to hospital at a particular time to the xyz doctor. They could have arranged for transport and all that, but they wanted the girl to perform that herself to boost up her confidence. She took her mother from home in autorikshaw and visited the Doctor, who admitted her mother for few days. She was suffering from epilacy and was cured within a year. The girl shared her experience with a sense of achievemnet that she was behind the process of letting her mother free from chains.
Re: Defining Success to children
I think you missed the point I was trying to make. In this girls’s case, right approach was taken. She had a roof over her had. It didn’t appear she was working elsewhere to make ends meet.
Your earlier posts suggested most are under privileged kids. They work TWO HOURS to earn Rs 25.
Let us just step back and chart out their schedule
School 9 to 4.
Two hours work before school.
So get up 5am. Work 6 to 8am.
School 9 to 4
Reach home 445 pm. Clean up. Have dinner by 630 pm.
Kids need 9 hrs sleep. So go to bed 8 pm.
When do they have time to study? To do homework. And forget about playing.
And you want to take up time they DONT have to listen to pep talk? Without doing anything tangible for them? All underthe pretext of them not “losing confidence?”. That they should do stuff on their own?
How about ensuring they DONT have to work the 2 hours. By giving their family rent money - or just paying their rent.
Then do some tutoring. Something tangible. As part of the tutoring, you can give +ve reinforcement.
Looks like you have made up your mind. If I were those kids, I would say no thanks. I don’t have the time. Got to work 2 hrs each day to get Rs 25. You probably spent 4 times that money to drive here.
Re: Defining Success to children
well said uncle, again many of us were of the same thought to assist children monetarily, but the organisers who knows the communities to which the children belong more than us stressed on self respect and independence of kids over sympathy. They involve monetary help to the extent of free education and books and they do proper planing for financing children education that might include provision for instances where children want to quit studies for other financial purposes. I’ll raise the query regarding this aspect during our next visit.
Re: Defining Success to children
^ Thank you for taking my opinion in the proper spirit, pyare Muqawwee