Some of you know I have a colleague who’s returned to work after seeking treatment for breast cancer. Today we had a very candid conversation about what she had been through. One of the most interesting comments she made was that she felt that life wasn’t worth living after the loss of her breast (she had a single-side mastectomy). She defines her self and self worth through her physical being and having lost a breast she no longer feels like a complete woman…So my question to the women - do you define your gender through your physical being? Women - would the absence of a breast, uterus or other female appendages make you feel like less of a woman? Men, how would you view a woman who had lost her breast or uterus, etc. - does that affect your understanding of her femininity?
Re: Defined by the sum of our parts or the parts of our sum
I've seen a woman with cancer and she was one of the bravest person I've heard of.
Picking on physical deficiencies is wrong and doesn't lessen a person's feminism.
Re: Defined by the sum of our parts or the parts of our sum
I've seen a woman with cancer and she was one of the bravest person I've heard of.
Picking on physical deficiencies is wrong and doesn't lessen a person's feminism.
I have to agree with Shak :(
Uffff!
Some of you know I have a colleague who's returned to work after seeking treatment for breast cancer. Today we had a very candid conversation about what she had been through. One of the most interesting comments she made was that she felt that life wasn't worth living after the loss of her breast (she had a single-side mastectomy). She defines her self and self worth through her physical being and having lost a breast she no longer feels like a complete woman....So my question to the women - do you define your gender through your physical being? Women - would the absence of a breast, uterus or other female appendages make you feel like less of a woman? Men, how would you view a woman who had lost her breast or uterus, etc. - does that affect your understanding of her femininity?
She is mourning the loss of a body part. She is being honest. Is she married and does she have children?p
Re: Defined by the sum of our parts or the parts of our sum
Its much easier imagining then going through it. I mean I am mashallah perfectly normal, but when I compare myself to some prettier girls I do feel a little ugly/less confident, so imagine them losing something that society defines as "Being a women" , and comparing yourself to the majority of females who have what you don't. Also dating can be an issue, or having to explain to people is embarassing, as people are very unconsiderate towards others others painful journeys, to them its just a tale. My heart goes out for all the breast cancer patients.
Some of you know I have a colleague who's returned to work after seeking treatment for breast cancer. Today we had a very candid conversation about what she had been through. One of the most interesting comments she made was that she felt that life wasn't worth living after the loss of her breast (she had a single-side mastectomy). She defines her self and self worth through her physical being and having lost a breast she no longer feels like a complete woman....So my question to the women - do you define your gender through your physical being? Women - would the absence of a breast, uterus or other female appendages make you feel like less of a woman? Men, how would you view a woman who had lost her breast or uterus, etc. - does that affect your understanding of her femininity?
She is mourning the loss of a body part. She is being honest. Is she married and does she have children? A mourning/grieving is very normal however hopefully she will find that life is about more than breasts, uterus,,,,etc....if she has already experienced childbirth, marriage they might be less detrimental
Re: Defined by the sum of our parts or the parts of our sum
She is mourning the loss of a body part. She is being honest. Is she married and does she have children? A mourning/grieving is very normal however hopefully she will find that life is about more than breasts, uterus,,,,etc....if she has already experienced childbirth, marriage they might be less detrimental
Some married women might feel worse losing a breast.. they might not feel 'complete' or might worry their partner won't find them attractive anymore.. Also I'd imagine being 'uneven'.. even just seeing the way you look in clothes could be quite distressing (and I don't mean having them on show) :(
Here in the UK most women are given the option of having implants after removal.. likewise men can have an implant if they lose a testicle due to cancer..
Re: Defined by the sum of our parts or the parts of our sum
She is mourning the loss of a body part. She is being honest. Is she married and does she have children?p
^ This.
Re: Defined by the sum of our parts or the parts of our sum
Losing a breast is better than losing a limb.
Re: Defined by the sum of our parts or the parts of our sum
^ that's easily said dear.
but it cannot offer consolation to the person that has not lost a limb.....they will still feel incomplete.
I know that I would.
may Allah protect us all and give us health, ameen.
in reference to the original question.....while I would definitely find the process very, very difficult, I don't think that I would begin to question my femininity as a result. I think that there are many other aspects that define who I am.....and sometimes being either male or female really isn't relevant.
Re: Defined by the sum of our parts or the parts of our sum
At the very least I would feel unattractive and incomplete as a woman.
Re: Defined by the sum of our parts or the parts of our sum
yeah ofcourse it will be difficult 2 overcome this situation but then i l also be thankful 2 ALLAH for saving me from such a disease n giving me a new life n i hope so ppl who r suffering this may get support of their family n help in overcoming this trauma n may ALLAH bless every1 in these situations i think family n ppl around u counts a lot they can make u feel better :)
Re: Defined by the sum of our parts or the parts of our sum
Would i view her as a less of a woman? Nope. A strong woman though that is for certain. And I am sorry all people define themselves by their physical, emotional and social situation. So yes it makes perfect sense that she may feel less of a woman. But that idea is to support her and not question what she is feeling. The emotions are real to her and there is nothing logical about emotions.