ok say two guys propose to u aorund the same time ..
how would u choose which one .. would u use just ur heart to make the decision or the mind or both ..
say theres posiitve n negative thing in both situations that would be there after the marriage
k thnks
Re: decisions decisions ..
it depends on what negatives and positives each has and the relevant value of each positive and negative for you... e.g. if you want to pursue your career after marriage, and one is supporting you in your decision while the other is not, and your career is very important for you, you will obviously go for the one who is supporting you even if he is not as good as the other proposal. So make a list of your preferences and weigh each of the proposal against your criteria and choose the one which is best fits your criteria... if you are getting good instincts about a particular guy e.g. you like his personality, you like his way of talking etc etc, then do consider the vibes which you are getting, but there is nothing personal, weigh each guy against your criteria and choose the 'best'... wish you luck :)
Re: decisions decisions ..
hmm.. yea.. so you should make a list of pros and cons of both the guys! or maybe try evaluating both the rishtas through the following topics and try giving them marks according to how strongly positive or negative the answer is for both the guys:
How is he? as personality wise? or if you don't know them much, then how's the impression so far?
How's is family? (well-mannered? loving? understanding? "moon puth or chalaak?")
What has he studied?
What's his financial condition? if he's not earning too much, then atleast does he seem like a motivated, goal-oriented and a hardworking person?
How's his personality? is he too serious, lively, friendly, kind of shy ? (also, on the other hand, think about how you would like your husband to be, towards you and when he's around others, is he close to it? )
Do you find him good looking?(believe it or not, it matters, you need to be physically attracted towards a person, atleast a bit right? and ugly and pretty doesn't really matter here, cuz i don't find brad pitt attractive, but maybe you do, hope you get what mean)
Is he taller than you?
How much does he mean to your parents? which one your parents like more and why? think about it ?
which one gets, or seems like that he will get along with your family more and be more caring?
** AGAIN, it really depends how much each question weighs into your life right? maybe the family thing doesn't really matter and the money matters more and the height matters less **
Hope i helped!! <3 cheers!
Re: decisions decisions ..
and ofcourse, you could add more questions,
i just thought of a couple more ,
q. is he open minded? too open minded?
q. is he too religious for you ? or not religious enough?
q. is he the type of person who would like you to sit at home and do house chores all the time? or would he be ok with it if you want to go out and work one day?
q. how much would your opinion count in making decision about life, money, kids etc etc
... and these are questions that you might need to ask them and there's nothing wrong in that to me really .. i mean it's a decision about life that you need to make, right?
and.. i guess, it's pretty clear that minds working more for me .. but then if i were you , after doing this evaluation .. my gutt feeling or "heart's" feeling would win, cuz well i would have completely answered the questions in such manners , don't you thnk? ;)
Re: decisions decisions ..
and ofcourse, you could add more questions,
i just thought of a couple more ,
q. is he open minded? too open minded?
q. is he too religious for you ? or not religious enough?
q. is he the type of person who would like you to sit at home and do house chores all the time? or would he be ok with it if you want to go out and work one day?
q. how much would your opinion count in making decision about life, money, kids etc etc
... and these are questions that you might need to ask them and there's nothing wrong in that to me really .. i mean it's a decision about life that you need to make, right?
and.. i guess, it's pretty clear that minds working more for me .. but then if i were you , after doing this evaluation .. my gutt feeling or "heart's" feeling would win, cuz well i would have completely answered the questions in such manners , don't you thnk? ;)
Re: decisions decisions ..
use the one you use when you buy new shoes.
Re: decisions decisions ..
^husband=shoes
Re: decisions decisions ..
Actually, Islamically it is haram to give one rishta over another. You entertain one rishta at a time, if you do not like that person, you say no and move on, you do not leave 2 or more people hanging in the balance.
Re: decisions decisions ..
Neither . Two guys proposing at the same time is voodoo . Wait for the third one . Good luck .
Re: decisions decisions ..
*The most hadnsome Lookin one .. LOL hahhaha.. *
Re: decisions decisions ..
Oh opps i meant **Handsome not hadnsom lol**
Re: decisions decisions ..
^handsome wala to cheating karay ga....risky area.......get the ugly one with more money...
Re: decisions decisions ..
^handsome wala to cheating karay ga....risky area.......get the ugly one with more money...
^ This.
Re: decisions decisions ..
What's ugly to one person can be a sex god to someone else so that in itself doesn't mean he can't/won't cheat..
My mum thinks my other half looks awful.. she always wanted the classic desi clean cut, chubby doctor :D
Soni, don't u feel any 'pull' towards either of them??
Re: decisions decisions ..
ths the thing .. its confusing ause i hv to take into accoutn my mom too .. n shes more sensible n shes says one of them will be better for me cause has no sisters n small family n mellow attitude which will good for me in the ong run .. my thoughts get mixed up in emotions .. s not clear alwasy .. i feel more pull towards th eother one though but maybe that has smthng to do that i sort of feel sorry for him cause hes had lot of sad stuff happen in his life .. i dunno .. im confused ! .. :s
Re: decisions decisions ..
listen your elders she definitely have a point.
Stay away from the sad stuff walay , in short u urself is the best judge , bcoz u didnt shared much .
Re: decisions decisions ..
^handsome wala to cheating karay ga....risky area.......get the ugly one with more money...
yeh kya baat hoi?
Re: decisions decisions ..
ths the thing .. its confusing ause i hv to take into accoutn my mom too .. n shes more sensible n shes says one of them will be better for me cause has no sisters n small family n mellow attitude which will good for me in the ong run .. my thoughts get mixed up in emotions .. s not clear alwasy .. i feel more pull towards th eother one though but maybe that has smthng to do that i sort of feel sorry for him cause hes had lot of sad stuff happen in his life .. i dunno .. im confused ! .. :s
and it's that tough past that will come and hit you in the face (not literally....well hopefully) later on in the marriage.
what are the factors between the two?
Re: decisions decisions ..
she means ka handsume walai choor do shaid kese single chick ko date kernee perh jie incase of som emergency 
Re: decisions decisions ..
yeh kya baat hoi?
yeh baat hoi k she will be less insecure with an ugly rich guy.....