Recently i heard a lot of religious scholars saying that our pakistani weddings have blown out of propotion there is a lot of extravaganza…sqauandering of money…interaction of males and females and this causes sense of deprivation among the less fortunate ones and every girl dreams to have a wedding that more of a duplicate of karan johar movie set …weddings have become so much filmy.By doing this u r making a new start of ur life by displeasing Allah and maybe this is the reason that aaj kal ki shaadio may barkat nahi rahi …there in an incline in divorce rate.
on the contrary the other faction says that u only get life once so you should enjoy it to the full ,akhir paisa kamaya kis liye jata ha…and other than that many people benefit from this as this brings employment to a lots of people like photographers,event planners ets
ill stay as a neutral person and i want the audiences poll on it
My pole err emm
Re: Debate on our pakistani weddings--i want ur pole
I think there's a way to find some kind of moderation in there. One doesn't have to go to either extreme (if they can afford to that is).
Re: Debate on our pakistani weddings–i want ur pole
guys plzz start some interesting threads … gs is not doing good enough job to entertain me 
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Re: Debate on our pakistani weddings--i want ur pole
you should do what makes you happy and what you can afford it. it's dumb to go into debt for a wedding or ask others for money and not pay them back on time, but if you are a millionaire, go ahead and splurge. why not? its your money. no one should be telling one what they should or shouldn't do with their money.
Re: Debate on our pakistani weddings--i want ur pole
We just met, I will not be sharing my pole with you.
Re: Debate on our pakistani weddings--i want ur pole
I agree with bella. While getting into debt for a wedding is quite unwise, there is nothing wrong with spending a bit more if you have the means to do so. Something else that rather irritates me is the people who constantly harp that rather than "wasting" money on a wedding, people should give it to charity as if spending on a wedding and giving to charity were mutually exclusive. They are not mutually exclusive and it is quite possible to do both.
As far as "oh, but lavish weddings make other people feel bad," quite frankly if someone's self esteem is based on material things and dependent on the actions and/or possessions of others, it is fair to say that they have bigger issues than spending on a wedding. Self worth and self esteem come from within and it is not the responsibility of the outside world to provide someone with either of these.
Misleading title. I was hoping for some polar discussion.
Re: Debate on our pakistani weddings--i want ur pole
I agree with bella. While getting into debt for a wedding is quite unwise, there is nothing wrong with spending a bit more if you have the means to do so. Something else that rather irritates me is the people who constantly harp that rather than "wasting" money on a wedding, people should give it to charity as if spending on a wedding and giving to charity were mutually exclusive. They are not mutually exclusive and it is quite possible to do both.
As far as "oh, but lavish weddings make other people feel bad," quite frankly if someone's self esteem is based on material things and dependent on the actions and/or possessions of others, it is fair to say that they have bigger issues than spending on a wedding. Self worth and self esteem come from within and it is not the responsibility of the outside world to provide someone with either of these.
This.
Re: Debate on our pakistani weddings--i want ur pole
We just met, I will not be sharing my pole with you.
it's not worth sharing. Don't worry yourself too much!
Re: Debate on our pakistani weddings--i want ur pole
^haha
is typo,spelling glitch a big crime in internet rule books
it’s not worth sharing. Don’t worry yourself too much!
[/quote]
Theorist ne ghost ka saara pole khol diya
Damn I am so good with the use of words.
Re: Debate on our pakistani weddings--i want ur pole
Why only moderation or less spending only on weddings why not the whole lifestyle parties, clothing, houses, cars, jewelry, schools ?????
Re: Debate on our pakistani weddings--i want ur pole
Eerrrybody and their mama knows how I feel about this issue.
But here I go anyway:
Lavish weddings are taking away from the main focus of marriage IMHO.
You should always do whatever it is you want to do but try to see if its really what you want or what you want others to see or feel about you. One of my friend's dad actually went through a lot to marry off both of his daughters...it was sad. Really sad how they said they were majboor...majboor by who? By a culture that says daughters are parayi? Obviously, I find it ludicrous. Another school friend of mine got all three of his sisters married and couldn't even afford to go to the doctor for years because he had to pay for the cars he gave them.
Why do they do this? Because if you want to marry your daughters into well to do families where they will have all sorts of asaishein, then you must comply with our society's rules. By the way, no one actually goes and demands these things...its an expectation that our daughters will be needing jahaiz and a lavish wedding so their parents make it happen. If at some point, a girl's family were to suggest a simple Nikah, they'd look cheap and stingy.
Oh and I don't believe in putting wedding expenses on credit cards or going into debt for it either.
Re: Debate on our pakistani weddings--i want ur pole
^Reha, I understand where you're coming from but, with all due respect, the people that you mentioned who chose to get into debt to pay for weddings did so of their own free will. You cannot blame society for this as, ultimately, we have the last word when it comes to our decisions. I apologise if this sounds rather harsh but I'm not a fan of people blaming society for their own unwise decisions.
As far as not wanting to appear cheap or stingy and wanting to marry your daughters into a well off family, caring about what others think of you and seeking approval from them is also a choice.
Re: Debate on our pakistani weddings--i want ur pole
a good friend of mine got married recently and the wedding cost about 80k. her student loan is also around that much which she is still paying off. if i were her, i would rather pay off my student loan than spend money on extravagant wedding.
on the other hand, if you are literally a millionaire and debt free, there is no harm in going overboard if thats what you desire.
Re: Debate on our pakistani weddings–i want ur pole
You seem disturbingly familiar with it. Does Mr. Theorist know about your extracurricular activities? :no:
Re: Debate on our pakistani weddings--i want ur pole
^Reha, I understand where you're coming from but, with all due respect, the people that you mentioned who chose to get into debt to pay for weddings did so of their own free will. You cannot blame society for this as, ultimately, we have the last word when it comes to our decisions. I apologise if this sounds rather harsh but I'm not a fan of people blaming society for their own unwise decisions.
As far as not wanting to appear cheap or stingy and wanting to marry your daughters into a well off family, caring about what others think of you and seeking approval from them is also a choice.
I agree that its a cop out to blame society for it all...but I guess what bothers me is how we are the ones who make up society yet allow this to happen.
You don't sound harsh at all and my perspective isn't to attack anyone's personal choices...marriages in my opinion are already made in heaven...they don't need material glorification.
Re: Debate on our pakistani weddings--i want ur pole
If I could afford it, I would definitely have a HUGE and AMAZING wedding.
But realistically, I think that every girl should be happy with her dress, makeup, jewelry, and photographer+videographer. Everything else is just icing on the cake. If I had to go into debt for those things, I seriously would. But only with my own money, not my parents money or in-laws money. I know that Islam prefers smaller weddings than grand ones but honestly there's so many other aspects of life this can apply to as well. We pick and choose where we want to spend our money.
Re: Debate on our pakistani weddings--i want ur pole
To understand why we have huge lavish weddings, you have to look at how two people get married in the first place. First lets look at the Boy....
Mother: Son it is time for you to get married
Son: No Mama, I'm enjoying my life too much to get married, going out whenever I want, hanging out with my friends, playing video games.
Mother: No betay you have to get married, I'm getting too old to do all your cooking, washing your clothes and cleaning up after you. It's time we find someone else to do it for you.
Son: Oh ok Mama as you wish. You know I can NEVER say no to you.... and you know I will continue to be that way even after I get married.
Now lets look at the Girl:
Mother: Daughter, it is time for you to get married.
Daughter: No Mama, I'm not ready to get married yet, I have hopes & dreams & ambition, I want to achieve something with my life.
Mother: Listen betey, if you get married I promise we will give you the most amazing wedding....
Daughter: No, Mama, No....
Mother: We will buy you the finest jewellery the world has ever seen....
Daughter: No, Mama, No....... hain jewellery?!
Mother: Yes betey, and we will get the best designers to make your wedding outfits
Daughter: Hmmm....designers?
Mother: Yes, the best designers in all of Pakistan... and we will hire the biggest, most expensive venue....
Daughter: Really? What about make up.... and catering... and guests...
Mother: You can have whatever you want betey, we will invite everyone, we will fly over the whole of Bollywood if you want us to!
Daughter: Oh yes Mama!! I want ALL that... I want to get married!!!!
Mother: Ok betey, now let me tell you about the boy we have chosen for you.
Daughter: Nevermind about him Mama, I'm too busy... I've got a wedding to plan!!
And that's how a huge lavish wedding helps bring a boy and a girl together... and also sets them up for a future that seems to be one looooong anti-climax.
THE END