My parents have always kept us - me and my siblings - quite sheltered from relatives passing etc, my parents have attended funerals and khatams alone, they have never brought along me or my siblings.
Recently one of my friends mother passed away and I realised how much I didn’t know.
My parents are from a different era so they don’t see things like I do, for instance I can’t just read the Quran in arabic and I feel so bad because I don’t understand it and if I bring my own english translated Quran my parents think I’m being weird.
Firstly could someone break down a muslim/pakistani funeral to me?
Also what does one wear? White shalwaar kameez? Is it weird if I bring my own Quran?
Wear something decent, not necessarily white but any light color.
No, its not at all weird to take your own quran pak but I would recommend you to just make dua, because to avoid attention.The best is to read the quran pak or surah yaseen and baksh do marhoom ko at your house.
Read Surah Fatiha + 4 qoul and make dua for the departed soul.
Mashallah it is relieving to know how there are people who want to read the quran with translation.
That's so different from us, my parents would beg us to read with translation so we actually knew what we were reading and importance and meaning of each common surah, aya.
However it had been the same growing up as kids, we were never taken to funerals. I only discovered funerals after marriage as my MIL has passed and now just recently my cousins and I have come to know as we have had a few very close family members pass and we are all grown now, high school, college married so everyone is fully aware of what is going on. There is nothing wrong with you bringing your own pocket Quran, people do all the time. I would say the same duas listed above especially Yaseen. We read that every time we go to the graveyard and we read it in my uncles room every night for the first week after he passed. If you get a Quran that has both English and Arabic written together, it will be easier for you. Those are the kinds I was given on my wedding just to simply encourage me reading more and looking up the meanings myself. My parents never told us to follow blindly they always told us to do our own homework thru reading the English translations. We always wear black combination suits, or muted, dark tones. Brown, beige, white, black. Probably avoid bright colours and sparkles.