folks, u are taking it lightly. and that is a good way to handle this sort of black humor topic.
we can do a lot esp. young people, girls and boys between 18 and 25 years of age, can do a lot.
turn it around all humorously and make the elders realize how sad and funny really the prospecting situation is and then the wording of it all.
each society has its own 'social flaws' on a familial and inter-families level.
this one makes us all feel kind of surprised. it so happens all the time, yet we do not seem to see any decrease in the use of terms.
my issue is that the connotation is as if people are ready to get rid of their kids, daughters or sons.
and that is so not true as we all know we are the life of our parents.
we should be thankful that there we have parents who care for us and i am not at all saying that u should take them out of this decision in ur lives. just find a proper way, in which people on either sides are transparent and follow ethics of human decency in establishing this new relationship in ur lives.
it should never be a case of cultural pressures.
if anything, it should be a mutually agreed upon contract of taking on a life partner. parents okay and blessings is icing on the cake. but,, we should avoid this "rishta" seeking and giving, many a times unwelcome and unsolicited.
because people sound like they are basically exchanging worries, it is the luck of the begetter and the giver on both ends, how much more worry they end up with.
& the real sad part is when one party wanted to establish this relationship, for their own selfish reasons.
there, u must denounce this rishta business and its unethical practices and it is better being single than getting married to a person or into a family who care clearly motivated by their ignorance and greed.
rest, May Allah make the best pairing possible for every body.
Amen.
It emphasizes the start of a new relationship. Rishtaa lenay jana means we are trying to establish new relations and rishtaa dein means please establish relations with us. No big deal just a form of expression and tradition.
[quote=Dushwari]
folks, u are taking it lightly. and that is a good way to handle this sort of black humor topic.
we can do a lot esp. young people, girls and boys between 18 and 25 years of age, can do a lot.
turn it around all humorously and make the elders realize how sad and funny really the prospecting situation is and then the wording of it all.
each society has its own 'social flaws' on a familial and inter-families level.
this one makes us all feel kind of surprised. it so happens all the time, yet we do not seem to see any decrease in the use of terms.
my issue is that the connotation is as if people are ready to get rid of their kids, daughters or sons.
and that is so not true as we all know we are the life of our parents.
we should be thankful that there we have parents who care for us and i am not at all saying that u should take them out of this decision in ur lives. just find a proper way, in which people on either sides are transparent and follow ethics of human decency in establishing this new relationship in ur lives.
it should never be a case of cultural pressures.
if anything, it should be a mutually agreed upon contract of taking on a life partner. parents okay and blessings is icing on the cake. but,, we should avoid this "rishta" seeking and giving, many a times unwelcome and unsolicited.
because people sound like they are basically exchanging worries, it is the luck of the begetter and the giver on both ends, how much more worry they end up with.
& the real sad part is when one party wanted to establish this relationship, for their own selfish reasons.
there, u must denounce this rishta business and its unethical practices and it is better being single than getting married to a person or into a family who care clearly motivated by their ignorance and greed.
rest, May Allah make the best pairing possible for every body.
I thought the pairing was already predetermined and predestined. Rishtey and jorey aasmanoon per bantey hein bit more meaningful for u i hope
what is being hoped for is to recommend people that please not allowother proxies in a matter so central to our life long well being.
i think men and women, our age, from Pakistani and Islamic background, should avoid rishtey daars and the rishtey karaneye wali and waley, and ask them to be COMPLETELY, TOTATTLY, ABSOLUTELY off limits from our parents
and yes destiny is still more powerful.
[quote=Dushwari]
folks, u are taking it lightly. and that is a good way to handle this sort of black humor topic.
we can do a lot esp. young people, girls and boys between 18 and 25 years of age, can do a lot.
turn it around all humorously and make the elders realize how sad and funny really the prospecting situation is and then the wording of it all.
each society has its own 'social flaws' on a familial and inter-families level.
this one makes us all feel kind of surprised. it so happens all the time, yet we do not seem to see any decrease in the use of terms.
my issue is that the connotation is as if people are ready to get rid of their kids, daughters or sons.
and that is so not true as we all know we are the life of our parents.
we should be thankful that there we have parents who care for us and i am not at all saying that u should take them out of this decision in ur lives. just find a proper way, in which people on either sides are transparent and follow ethics of human decency in establishing this new relationship in ur lives.
it should never be a case of cultural pressures.
if anything, it should be a mutually agreed upon contract of taking on a life partner. parents okay and blessings is icing on the cake. but,, we should avoid this "rishta" seeking and giving, many a times unwelcome and unsolicited.
because people sound like they are basically exchanging worries, it is the luck of the begetter and the giver on both ends, how much more worry they end up with.
& the real sad part is when one party wanted to establish this relationship, for their own selfish reasons.
there, u must denounce this rishta business and its unethical practices and it is better being single than getting married to a person or into a family who care clearly motivated by their ignorance and greed.
rest, May Allah make the best pairing possible for every body.
I thought the pairing was already predetermined and predestined.Rishtey and jorey aasmanoon per bantey heinbit more meaningful for u i hope
Its their way of showing authority and control. For dadi and Nani i will give benefit of the doubt that they might genuinely b interested in a grandchild and the physical and reproductive capacities of their sons/ daughters. Once the kid is born that pressure is gone. Imagine their social circle and gossip scene and then see their situation.
