Preface:
Hey all! I haven’t been a member of this forum but have occasionally browsed it for quite a while. Recently, this activity has recently been rendered distinctly irritating due to a gentleman known as Bobby1. What follows is a respectful letter to him from me (and from others as well I’m sure).
Dear Bobby
Out of seemingly nowhere, you have graced almost every post with your presence beginning this year.
Unfortunately, your posts always seemed to be just one thing: narcissism and tooting your own horn. You always seem to revel in regaling us with anecdotes about your son, nephew, wife, flana tamkana etc. It wears one down okay? Aye haye people are doing flana? My insert family member have always been insert noble behavior. Look, no one really cares… It’s often distracting, sometimes irrelevant to the posters issue/problem at hand (how does it help the poster to know your fabulous-ness?) and occasionally borders on thread hijacking.
You seem to have a very consistent pattern to this and I can mostly tell what you’re going to say without actually reading it.
Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I feel you might have some issues which could be helped with counseling. It appears to me that you’re trying to convince yourself of how everything is good and ideal in your life rather than us.
That said, your insights are often good and I do appreciate them.
Anyhooo I agree. For some reason I can’t like you post on my phone.
He seems like a nice guy but comes across as trying to hard… He also looks at cultural/religious issues from a gora/humanist/atheist perspective while he should know better.
God… sorry, Humanism bless America!
Actually, I deliberately did not mention his gora/atheist bias at first because I felt it might make him defensive. Nonetheless, you’re right and to be honest, its less the fact that he’s gora/humanist/what-have-you (everyone is entitled to their viewpoints after all) and more that he’s *incredibly smug about it *as though there is something inherently superior about his views as opposed to those with perhaps a more conservative outlook.
Hyen Hyen… Bobbypatrol why you look like ‘bobby chitrol’?!!
Ok j/k. I guess somebody had to put it up. But its a very healthy and constructive criticism with an appreciation in the end as well. I’m sure Bobby1 will take it the same way and fix the problem there, “public ke pur zor Israar pe”
Desis in general do well. We belong to good, strong, stable professions …and while nobody’s family is perfect, our home environments tend to have greater stability. I base this on my social circle as well as comparing the demographics of the schools I’ve taught at…among them was a Muslim private school with a strong Desi population. The point is that all this applies to many Desi members on this forum. They’re MashaAllah doing well for themselves..they can afford basic necessities of life as well as luxury items such as designer brands etc. But most people here do not talk about what they have in terms of material valuables, etc etc. There are specific threads that are designated for the sharing of such things such as “what did you buy/wear” threads in the fashion forum.
But when talking about spousal abuse…the mentioning of the brand of shoes bought or how buff one’s physique is are irrelevant to the more pressing matter at hand. And to bring this up is not a matter of one’s own “inadequacy” but rather it’s a natural question that would occur during the reading process as we connect the ideas in one sentence to another…and you wonder, “What does this have to do with anything at all?” For instance, it doesn’t matter how “built” or flabby or skinny a man is. If it’s against your moral values to hit a woman, then physique plays no role in it. Nor would most readers assume that a man who doesn’t strike his wife back is “physically” weak.
Yeah…umm…tomato-tomaaato. See, you did it again. Doesn’t matter whether you bought her Pumas or Chihuahuas…you’re still talking money. Only this time you went from 100 to 90 K…but it’s just on another end of the money spectrum. Why is it necessary to know that you buy her a luxury car or ghada-gaari every three years?
Yes, you sure do talk about your cooking and MashaAllah you are passionate and skilled in that area. However you use that passion to look down on people who do not post in the cuisine form. You need to understand that people are busy with jobs and other things in their life due to which they may not share their recipes or culinary creations on the forum…or they may be too lazy or not interested enough to do so. But it doesn’t necessarily mean that they can’t cook or that they don’t ever tend to domestic chores. Similarly you cannot always assume about one’s financial health based upon where they shop at…or their race…or even upon their tendency to keep mum about their material possessions. In addition, there are many other religions that believe in destiny and certain unseen phenomenon; not only Islam. If Muslims believe in destiny and certain phenomena because it is mentioned in the Quran which they believe to be divine revelation …that does not necessarily mean that the entire lot of them do not believe in the importance of hard work, effort, or planning/precaution.
The best jadu would be to make you disappear for good and to somehow prevent your umpteenth return as Bobby # 420 or Hero No. 1 or some other alias.
Anyhow…it’s pointless. This is how my 8-year-old students argue…they miss the overall picture and pick the most minutest detail and hang on with pit-bull tenacity. So carry on, Bobby.
You talk jadoo, kalla kutta, evil eye, istikhara etc I don’t tell u what to write oh and constant lectures about relationships without ever being in one..lol.
He reminds me of someone I know in real life 
