Someone very close to me has been diagnosed with a life-threatening disease, and I know I’m going to lose her some day or the other. God, I love her more than anything. I can’t live without her, how do I go on? I’m so weak without her love, from where do I find strength to deal with this.She means to me more than anything, and I can’t accept the fact she won’t be around with me forever, it hurts.It just hurts so much. Why couldn’t it be me?.. why did it have to be her, so young, such a good person, and she loves me with all her heart. Why would god do this to me? WHY?
I won’t kill myself, I can’t. I’m going to die on the inside, I need a shrink, I need pills to kill the pain, I need something.Please god, give her back to me,don’t do this.Somebody please help me.
DON'T *ING BE SORRY,, I AM SICK AND *ING TIRED OF HEARING SORRRY.. IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY BESIDES A ****ING SORRRY AND PRAY... THEN JUST DON'T
Stop being an idiot, i know what your going thru, i lost someone close to me last year to liver disease. He was on his death bed and our prayers were answered, he went on to defy all odds and lived for 10 more months before passing away.
It's ignorant idiots like yourself who can't fathom the power of a prayer.
how about CALM DOWN first..and people wont stop feeling sorry for you until you stop feelings sorry for yourself. Life and death is in Allah’s hands, first you need to accept that and then pray for patience. Whatever life she has she probably wants to spend it with her loved ones(YOU) so do not make it any harder for her than it already is. Death is part of life, accept it. One day you will die too, one day this world will die too actually, this world is temporary.
The new COOLDUDE ..... my bro, thousands of people die every year due to different diseases, and millions due to several other reasons .... you are not the only one told to loose a loved one; we all have to loose sooner or later. You don't like condolences and sorries; i understand your frustration and disappointment.
Think of the women in Iraq and at othe places who loose their entire families and loved ones so frequently. Yet, they have to feed their children under enormous fear of insecurity and poverty. And these things have been hapening throughout the histry of the world. But you still say "why me?".
Have you ever thought about blind people? .... deaf? .... paralyzed? ....... Aren't you the luckier one who could SEE a beautiful lady (ur loved one) + loved her + was loved by her? ..... Many people don't even get all that bro.
As far as loosing is concerned, anyone can loose anytime due to any reason. The hard part in ur case is that you are informed already. If we read Quran, it informs the same thing repeatedly that we have to leave and loose this dunya (world) and whatever it contains .... it's just that people REALLY believe when a doctor tells us the same thing.
There are some bitter realities in life that we can't escape. But there are some sweet realities as well ..... one of the sweet realities is the power of Allah (swt) that can cure an incurable disease .... and there are cases that people have overcome the diseases like cancer..... May Allah (swt) cure your loved one and give her a long happy life with you, and give you courage and hope..... I apologise if i said anything that has hurt you.
Stop thinking about the fact that you will lose her. Think of her as the person who is here, now. This is not an issue for which you can think ahead, and it will be all whoopdeedoo I am sorted out and planned out for the future. She is here, now. Spend as much time as you can with her now. You probably have done it already, but notice what makes her happy, what makes her sad, etc etc. Live in the moment with her.
I totally understand your concerns. But bro let me advice you from “her” perspective. If you think living without her will be hard for you think of what she is going through. She is the one facing the reality and you should be there standing with her holding her hand and assuring her that whatevr life is left you guys are going to make the most of it. Death comes without knocking, like it or not. Allah kay kaamoon mein na tou aap ka koi faisala hai na mera… we can only pray and pray to Allah to make her better and make it easy for you.
I don’t know what sort of relationship you have with her. No mattter what it is you need to show her your support and give her the courage to fight against odds. Last thing she wants to see if you breaking down.
Not to go off topic or anything, but recently i was told that i have cancer. It took me 2 days to figure out how to tell this to her. Last thing i wanted to see was her breaking up infront of me. I wanted her support and i knew she will give that support to me and i am glad she did, coz that gave me the courage to go through the tests and stuff… so please pray and be with her coz that’s what she needs from you.
Hey....it's so hard when you find out that someone very close to you has a terminal disease...I went through it with mynanima when I was 16...we had grown up living with her in the same house, then she got diagnosed with cancer in April 1994.......the doctos said that she could live for 4 days, 4 weeks or 4 months....Ma'shallah she lived for exactly 4 months and dies in August 1994.
It is much harder when a diagnosis like this takes place and you know that the end is near for that person...you do literally start grikeving from the moment you find out....losing someone like this is harder than a sudden death.....BECAUSE you are aware of their mortality......
NOTHING anyone says is going to make you feel better...in fact most of the time it will sound patronising to you......
Now what can you do, we are mere mortals and this is all in the hands of Allah SWT....only HE is going to get you through this......
Please just try to find the inner strength to enjoy each day you can with this person and try to tell her how much she means to you.......
Outward display of your despair if possible shuld be avoided - everyone used to tell me this at my grandma's time, as it causes your loved one pain to see you like this.......
Please, pray to Allah SWT that he makes her suffering bearable and comfortable.....if you know of anyone going for Hajj, ask them to make dua there for you and her...........
Sorry this is long, and I'm sorry if it offers you no comforting words...but all we can do is try........
I am in the same situation right now with my beloved father. He was diagnosed in April with advanced lung cancer. It has been so very hard, i cannot begin to describe. But some things I can tell you. The grief gradually changes. At first, I was a total mess, the grief was a physical pain like I got hit by a train. After a while, you begin to accept what it is and what needs to be done - the treatments, appointments, hearing a bit of good news, hearing more bad news. The grief is still there but is less physically painful and you become more focused on the things that need to be done. Making all the time count is important.
You know....in ur thread....all i read is " I, I, I, I"
stop being so friggen SELFISH!!!! Stop thinking about YOURSELF and start thinking about HER!! SHE is the one dealing with the illness...imagine HER pain and how scared she must be!!! All you're doing is sitting there wondering how YOU are going to survive this....SHE is the one having to face death NOT YOU!!
Now get up!.....and be strong...for her if not for yourself. She needs you to help her get through this peacefully....you cant do this if your weak.
how's that for not saying "sorry" or "go pray"?
with that said....I'll be sure to keep her in my prayers...inshAllah.
The simplest thing to ease ur pain is go and see ur friend and comfort her and help her in any way .Like going to see her every day and make her smile.and above all either u like or not "pray for her that MAY ALLAH BE EASY ON HER IN HER PAIN AMEEN"
Someone I know was diagnosed with brain cancer at 13. MashAllah and with the efforts, wishes, and prayers of his family, friends, doctors etc, he has recovered and is doing pretty well today.
We don't know what will happen in the future. Just make the most of what you have today.
There is immense power in prayer. Praying wholeheartedly is what helps us deal with the loss of my father-in-law. He was diagnosed with stomach cancer in Feb 2004 and by Jan 2005, he was dead. Prayer lifts you up on the bad days and helps you get through the good days.
I lost my mother when I was 15. And she was hardly 45 yrs old.
I have dealt with the anger, the frustration, the anxiety and what not at that time... It was really hard for all of us to accept that we dont have a mother anymore, esp. when in the school and college all the girls used to talk about their mothers. I used to sit quietly and listen to them.. Cried when I got back to home, used to fight with Allah miyan.. the same question came to me again and again "WHY US?"
I used to stay in bathroom for hours with shower on, crying and pouring my heart out so that no one can listen to me sobbing and crying..
But you know what, I realized that with time, that no matter what you do, there's a fullstop to your life. One day everyone has to go, some go sooner than others.
All we can do in this situation is pray as much as we can for the person in that situation. The doctors told my father after the cancer was diagnosed, that she didnt have enough life maybe a couple of months. But you know what,we prayed, and prayed and prayed... and she lived for 1-1/2 yrs after diagnosis.
These were my father's words to the doctor when he told him that she was going to die soon "I believe in miracles and you'll see the miracle happen".
It happened, not with anything else, but our prayers.
No one wants their loved ones to pass away, no one wants to lose anyone so close to them.. But the real thing is to make the best use of time you have with them.
May Allah grant her recovery and help you, help yourself out of this depression.
Ameen.
The greatest loss and the greatest pain..i feel for you..
I don,t know what words would comfort you..
May Allah ease your pain…and hers too..May he give you the strenght to go through this..Ameen.
Sadaf.... your post made me cry for my mother all over again. She too was hardly 45, I was 22, and she died before I could even say goodbye. My husband never got to meet the most amazing woman I have ever known, and my children will never get see the one I loved the most.
new CoolDude... we all really feel for your loss. From those of us who've lost someone we loved dearly, I can tell you, cherish the moments you still have. I would give anything to spend one more day with my mother, tell her i love her one more time, even argue with her or tell her a joke, anything to just see her one more time. I know my mother is in a better place now. She sacrificed all her life for her family, and I know now she's in peace, watching over me. That in itself is perfect. I miss her, my heart cries for her, but her peace is greater than my need. The one you love, she's suffering now. Give her as much comfort and joy as you can. Don't regret that you didn't do enough while she was alive. Once she is gone, know that she'll be in peace, free from her pain, and in the end, that peace is more important than your need for her. My prayers with you both. Ameen.
Well, bro Cooldude, due to my studious and work experience with cancer patients, I know what sort of caos you are going through.
At times, the relatives are more in shock than the patient herself.
You need empathy and someone whom can listen to you just by
active listening skills. There are no words to soother your pain.
You are in crises of such magnitude, it will shake your core beliefs.
Some crises are very traumatic as the loss of parent or a beloved....
Please try to enjoy the time you have with her. Tell her in words, how
you feel and what dreams you had in mind.
One of my friends, married his gf on the last day of his life.
She felt blessed to be his wife even for some hours. Happiness is
freeze the moment you have with her right now. Take pictures, give
her flowers, do whatever comes to your mind and heart, giving
from a true heart.
There is nothing more powerful than going into sajda and praying
your heart out..... It will release some of your tensions and Allahjee
is all knowing...... There are some wazifa for diseases, try em out.
