Well, growing up in a western country or spending a large chunk of one’s life in the West is a different experience altogether. In my experience, I think that kids as well as adults who are in such a situation are open to discuss many issues rather ‘openly’ or with much ease, lets put it in that way. (hey, I am not sterotyping here)
Now on a more broader scale, take for example the western society. Correct me if I am wrong, but its my opinion that to dicuss or carry out any research, comparatively speaking they would be more forth coming when it comes to the question of getting information regarding their behavioral patterns.
Its not a question, its just something I felt when I realized that I might have to deal with an issue of this kind and might even be asked to enter into the field to get views from the women folk.
STDs are a reality.. right. While preparing a questionaire I deliberately deleted (for the time being) any question that pertains to sexual behavior or diseases that can be protracted in due course…
Correct, one has to take into regard ones cultural ethos but somehow I feel that among the South Asians, Pakistanis are more conservative than others.
Isn’t it about time we come to terms with the reality. I mean accept that everything goes on unabated in our society too.. ok, not on the same scale but well we aren’t a very pure and pristine society either.
Before someone finds that its just about sex,; its about issues that are considered taboo in our society and are avoided at best.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Minerva: *
somehow I feel that among the South Asians, Pakistanis are more conservative than others.
[/QUOTE]
Its not only Pakistanis, but all the South Asian countries are very conservative.
I think its more on the lines of being hypocritical than being conservative.
talk about discussing taboos....
i mean u r caught reading a book called "the matters of talaaq" and ppl frown at u as if u were guilty of some gunaah-e-kabeera....
and hence this taboo has created, in pakistan, a society where many ppl r not even aware of how the talaaq thing works....
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by armughal: *
talk about discussing taboos....
i mean u r caught reading a book called "the matters of talaaq" and ppl frown at u as if u were guilty of some gunaah-e-kabeera....
and hence this taboo has created, in pakistan, a society where many ppl r not even aware of how the talaaq thing works....
[/QUOTE]
true! if I were to voice my opinion in the affirmative to people going in for a live-in relationship... i'd be considered a gone case!!! :rotfl"
yeah Armughal, you are right. See for example, the ads on using contraception. Well, they are so discreet. I mean how else and in what other ways people will be told if media is not utilized in this regard.
Its not just my mom but I know many people who are against mass media airing such ads or even sharing information about as to what are the benefits of having a 'waqfa' between each kid.. and thats just an example. It is the woman who's health and life is at stake... people do not realize it.
Iran is an Islamic country, they did not have any qualms about discussing all such things. Ok ok there were motives behind that( we have a counter argument about every other thing) but why are we so heistant in discussing such issues.
and i sorta have to agree with u that are pakistanis are much more conservative then indians and sri lankans..
our woman are less educated in such issues... i know my mum is even though shes spent more than half her life outside of Pakistan, she doesnt realise what AIDS is.. well least i dont think she does. She usually has a blank face when the word pops up on a show.. its not that they are not aware of these issues.. its just they dont realise how big the problem is..
its either they dont know.. or they think its not appropriate to discuss with their children... (even if they kids happen to be 20+)
hmm, yeah I understand that one needs to keep in view ones cultural ethos. When I mentioned about STDs, I wasn't totally thinking in terms of HIV/AIDS. But you know what, I might be wrong but 'ghair azdawagi ta`luqaat' or having mutiple partners... in short moral delinquency is what pops up in our minds when we think of this issue. True hetro-sexual sex is the main reason behind the spread of HIV/AIDS however there are many other causes too.. atleast in Pakistan that can lead to its evental spread.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Minerva: *
hmm, yeah I understand that one needs to keep in view ones cultural ethos. When I mentioned about STDs, I wasn't totally thinking in terms of HIV/AIDS. But you know what, I might be wrong but 'ghair azdawagi ta`luqaat' or having mutiple partners... in short moral delinquency is what pops up in our minds when we think of this issue. True hetro-sexual sex is the main reason behind the spread of HIV/AIDS however there are many other causes too.. atleast in Pakistan that can lead to its evental spread.
[/QUOTE]
hmm... i think i went too extreme..
but its just a lot of things that have been made taboo in our culture.. from simple things like wearing ankle basher pants (on girls) or sleevless tops.... or maybe thats just cus i live here in OZ..
one of the funniest things ive come across (and this goes for the other girls here) is our mothers go all la la and khabardar about sleevless t-shirts and dresses.. but they're the first to force us wear sleevless shilwar kameezein... whats even funner is wearing kameezein that are barely there... but have net cloth covering the parts that could be labeled taboo...
my parents are conservative but that hasnt stopped them from discussing these issues like AIDS with us, but to be honest I'm more comfortable with their censored version
after listening to my biology teacher (who is white) considering her age (shes's abt 60 so i wouldve thought her to be more conservative) i literally felt sick
I don't know if it's just pakistan that doesn't discuss STDs...other countries have the same problem or just recently shifted.
My cousin in pakistan told me that in their biology class the teacher went over the chapter on human sexuality but did not define anything. Just rapidly reviewed it. She then went and found an urdu primer that gave better definitions and sat with her english primer and figured otu what was what.
where there is a will...there's a way...
Sadzz
My mom still has a heart attack with sleevless kameezes. I had huge arguments with her to get her to let me where sleevless chemises under those net things rather than the silly short sleeve/half sleeve bit.
i have the opposite situation, some of my cousins in Pakistan are way more frank and open with their parents about all this stuff, than i am with mine. And these cousins were born and brought up in Islamabad; the eldest is only 17 - six years younger than me. i've spent 11 years in a Muslim country, and about 12 years in the 'west'. When i was at their place last year in Islamabad, i saw these health-medical books specially for children that my Khala/Khalu had bought; it had stuff in there that i certainly would NEVER even dream of my parents buying for us even here in Canada. My parents have never discussed any of the 'taboo' stuff with me, whereas this particular Khala/Khalu were extremely 'honest' and open and encouraged their kids to ask questions in a healthy, respectful manner if they were curious. i think they wanted them to ask these questions from them rather than find out from other sources (friends, internet, etc.). Even today i could never ask my parents, or any family member, about any of this stuff - a reflection of the way i've been brought up where stuff like this was never dining-room conversation.
but you did touch on something else… hypocricy in creating and maintaining these taboos..