how do ya deal with getting rejected from a rishta that you actually liked?? it sucks really really bad. reason for rejection was not disclosed. 
!!! if going back to pakistan wasn’t such a hard thing to do financially and mentally then this wouldn’t sting so bad! goshhhhh!!! I feel so low right now. i’ve prayed and I accept all is in the power of my creator but can’t help but feel a little hopeless. i mean i don’t see a reason to reject, i am ok not drop dead gorgeous but I am acceptable, i am fairly well educated masters in education ok not a doc maybe not desi enough but decent enough, i have fairly good values. whyyy!!! i feel so immature and i’m sorry but i just had to vent. and then to say for a month ok we are undecided, and then say we currently have no immediate plans due to visa issues kinda maddening. shouldn’t have lead me on.
Re: dealing with rishta rejection
I feel for you 
Re: dealing with rishta rejection
how do ya deal with getting rejected from a rishta that you actually liked?? it sucks really really bad. reason for rejection was not disclosed. :( :( !!! if going back to pakistan wasn't such a hard thing to do financially and mentally then this wouldn't sting so bad! goshhhhh!!! I feel so low right now. i've prayed and I accept all is in the power of my creator but can't help but feel a little hopeless. i mean i don't see a reason to reject, i am ok not drop dead gorgeous but I am acceptable, i am fairly well educated masters in education ok not a doc maybe not desi enough but decent enough, i have fairly good values. whyyy!!!! i feel so immature and i'm sorry but i just had to vent. and then to say for a month ok we are undecided, and then say we currently have no immediate plans due to visa issues kinda maddening. shouldn't have lead me on.
jst see it lik Allah have some quite better 1 for you , u deserve som1 better thn this , tht will make you feel betterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....
Re: dealing with rishta rejection
How much time did you spend interacting one-on-one (just you and him) with that "hot" guy? 30 minutes? An hour? Maybe a little more than that? You liked the way that this guy looked, but you don't really know him. He's a stranger. You can argue that you do indeed know him and that he had a really nice personality. Well, most people present a more positive side of their personality in formal situations when they have company. And if you didn't get the opportunity to hang out with him alone.....then you really don't know him at all.
The reasons for rejection could be many. Often times....it happens that the guy may not have an issue with the girl...he might even like her.....but it's his parents that will reject the rishta. So, it may just be his parents who didn't think you were suitable. Or it may have also been the guy. You're never going to find out why they rejected you. And you'll drive yourself crazy trying to find out.
I can understand if you were in a relationship with this guy.......because then you would have invested time and emotional energy into him......so it would make greater sense for you to be "hurt" over losing him. But that's not the case. He's a stranger. It wasn't right for the guy's family to not be "direct" with your parents. But if you think about it........even if they were to directly tell your parents (or the mutual aunti friend) that they have rejected you and also state their reason for rejection..........would that have made you feel better? No, it wouldn't. You'd be upset even if they had been straightforward and honest. You may have created a thread that said "Oh, I got rejected because I'm not pretty/smart/desi/non-desi/tall/short/innocent/good/thin/curvy/talented/domesticated/sophisticated/educated enough."
Take this as learning experience. Next time, maybe give yourself a time frame for consideration. One month is too long to wait to hear a "rejection confirmation". Maybe give yourself 1-2 weeks or something..and if a rishta doesn't get back to you....take it as a "No" and move forward. And also don't invest so much emotional energy in a stranger in the future.
This "rejection" could be a blessing in disguise. You wouldn't have wanted to be with someone who strings you along and doesn't think you're good enough for whatever reason. The "rejection" has cleared the path for you to find someone better.
Re: dealing with rishta rejection
do domething fun .. get ur mind off o it .. dont keep thinking bout it .. who cares .. mybe theyr smthn goin on thatl ul never undrstd in tht family tht doesnt hv to do wid u being 'eligible' or not .. dun be lke very other ordin ary girl .. show the world that ur different strong .. confident .. that u hv power over urself .. not weak
Re: dealing with rishta rejection
if they're shallow enough to reject you for shallow reasons, then good riddance.
honestly, you should just steel yourself against stuff like this. it's going to happen a lot (not that i'm saying you're a bad catch, but that's just how the rishta process works)
Re: dealing with rishta rejection
how do ya deal with getting rejected from a rishta that you actually liked?? it sucks really really bad. reason for rejection was not disclosed. :( :( !!! if going back to pakistan wasn't such a hard thing to do financially and mentally then this wouldn't sting so bad! goshhhhh!!! I feel so low right now. i've prayed and I accept all is in the power of my creator but can't help but feel a little hopeless. i mean i don't see a reason to reject, i am ok not drop dead gorgeous but I am acceptable, i am fairly well educated masters in education ok not a doc maybe not desi enough but decent enough, i have fairly good values. whyyy!!!! i feel so immature and i'm sorry but i just had to vent. and then to say for a month ok we are undecided, and then say we currently have no immediate plans due to visa issues kinda maddening. shouldn't have lead me on.
dont take it as rejection hoor bano. take as someone's call of lack of compatibility. Maybe it was something in them that they thought they are not your qabil.
Re: dealing with rishta rejection
But if you say you’re not drop dead gorgeous, then vhy do you call yourself a hoor? :no:
That is most definitely the most important question here.
Re: dealing with rishta rejection
^lol maybe I am drop dead gorgeous and I'm just being humble ;) lol :(
thanks everybody i guess it just boils down to being upset to go back to pakistan its more so the loss of a dream versus anything else i don't mourn him as much as I mourn the idea of being married to him and what that would have potentially provided. :( please keep me in your duas! i just wanted to escape from my family as sometimes I feel like they are suffocating, i rejected a couple of rishtas inside the family because I didn't want to recycle back in. getting someone from pakistan means starting over again in terms of establishing a house, and recycling back into the same social circle living in the same city dying in the same 2X2 area you circled around all your life.. :(
Re: dealing with rishta rejection
I admit I sound a little na shukran but its how i feel.
Re: dealing with rishta rejection
I guess I wish everything in my life gets resolved!
Re: dealing with rishta rejection
i hope things get resolved for u :)
i m soo sorry u had 2 go through tht.. just go out n have fun..
shopping alwaysss helps me feel better... hehehe
or curse him out if u have to.. lol
Re: dealing with rishta rejection
Hoor bano- you also "rejected" couple of rishtas, didnt u? so think of it that way everyone has the rite to select what they want :). you had your reasons and i am sure this other family had their own. Doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you.
I have a friend who just recently broke down infront of me cuz apparently they have been seeing alot of rishtas for her and none aproved whatsoever. I tried to explain the same to her that you should not get disappointed and Allah perhaps have better plans for you. Just because she was rejected everytime, doesnt make her any less pretty, educated or decent. I can understand it must not feel good but you have to snap back from the feelings because at times what may be best for one may not be acceptable to the other.
Re: dealing with rishta rejection
Hey don't be like that, it is better than ending up with someone you aren't compatible with. It will happen in its own time, try not to worry too much. You will find your hoor bana when it is meant to be. Plus, desi rishta scene is as effective as rat's bollocks anyway. Try not to let it make you feel bad about yourself in anyway.
Re: dealing with rishta rejection
But why is it that just because this didn't work out you now have to go to Pak to find someone? what's the urgency? you clearly don't want to import someone so why don't you give it a little more time and try and find someone where you are instead of rushing off to Pak?
Re: dealing with rishta rejection
hey i knwo watll make u feel better .. everyone thinks all models r pretty right ? .. well a lot of them say that idfferent advertising companies want different things so all have felt rejection .. n LotS of tiMeS .. so its not that theyr not pretty or that any thigns worng with them its that different people r lookkng for different things .. if everyoen was hte same this owrld would be so boring ..
n ur stillt eh smae perons u alway z were .. n its like u know some people will liek us but some people will hate us no matter what we do .. its just like that .. its useless to keep thinking bout it cause u wont come up with an explanation that makes sense ..
Re: dealing with rishta rejection
Rejection is not always rejection hoor bano.
Its not.
Its fate's way of pulling you away from something that isnt good for you. Often times, you will meet people who seem so nice and perfect for you. They are nice but the combination of you and them is not so perfect. The point of marriage is find that great combination of husband and wife that works well, right? So even though you may not find anything wrong with him or he may not find anything wrong with you...a reason comes up somehow because you two are not suited for each other.
Remember that, its not just something people say to make others feel better. Its true.
Re: dealing with rishta rejection
Here is a glass half-full
Rejection means that someone considered you in first place.....
Re: dealing with rishta rejection
^ now that and the model explanation makes me feel better. stupid guy just exacerbated my insecurities and left. argh! not only was a he a working professional, but he also helps fashion and glamour magazines not major ones but is dealing with model photography on the side, so i guess i felt a little ugly and confused afterwards but its not the end of the world! :) there will be another hunk out there somewhere. I'll be back and update when I find him, and its going to be ok. :) thanks everybody.