So man people here talk about being rejected for rishtas. I know many who are not having luck wiht job search at all and keep getting rejected, and still there are those who have a tough time making friends, or people htey thought were friends suddenjly reject them.
Rejection in and of itself can be painful, but when those rejections happen constantly, whether its for a job, a rishta, or even freinds, how does one cope?
The worst thing about rejection isn’t the reject itself but not knowing why its happening so much.
A headhunter wont tell you why they didn’t hire you, at least not any real reason that can help you to polish your skills and make you mor eattractive for jobs.
Rishtas wont tel you why they didnt accept your rishta. Acquaintances you meet definitely wont tell you why they wont see you again, they just dont.
Even people that you thought were good firends, they wont tell you why they dont want anything to do wiht you anymore.
On the odd chance that someone does happen to tell you a real reason, how many of us will take it seriously? without laughing, or being offended or hurt?
Many times, esp for a job or rishta, the rejection doesnt have to be personal, it can just be for other reasons. But, again, how does one stop themselves from feeling dejected, frustrated nad down b/c of this? If you think your personality is the problem, how do you remain objective enough to really and honestly evaluate yourself and your actions?
Rejection is hard, no matter in what way!
As being muslim's we think it happened for our betterment....May b Allah Tallah has sumthin much better for us.we give ourself a tasali.And Hope for the best..
If rishtas ever rejected me, I never paid any attention to it. Is it because Im hard-headed? Unemotional? I dont know. I cant remember a time when it bothered me. Marriage was never something I saw myself doing. Now, things are different.
A J-O-B is a different story now! Often times, I can pick up on what the issue might have been and try to improve on it. Other times, there is no way to know so you fine tune your skills and keep trying until you succeed. Yes, I feel hurt but its momentary.
Friends. This is interesting. Ive seen people who have shied away from seeing me again. But I can usually pinpoint the reason behind it. If I cant, its alright. Im not supposed to get along with everyone. Plus, Ive got all the friends I need so I wont really be missing their presence.
The way I deal with rejection: So what? This world is humungous and somewhere out there, Allah swt has made a man, a job, a friend, etc. with my name written all over it in big, black, permanent marker. I just have to find it. :)
Someone once said that "When someone rejects you......that's just their way of saying that YOUR life is BETTER OFF without them!" In other words, they're doing you a favor. Everyone deserves to have people in their lives that respect and love them.....why should you allow yourself to settle for anything less that that?
You'll tell yourself all these encouraging things.....yet there **will **be days when you will take the rejection to heart. As human beings, some days we are strong and confident. And other days even the strongest of us feel vulnerable and weak. It's normal. It's a part of life.
^ As long as you redirect your negative and self-doubting thoughts in a positive way, you'll be able to move on and you'll continue moving on this way. When someone rejects you, it's their way of saying your life is better off without them. So in the words of Finding Nemo.......just keep swimming!
The best way to find a job i've learnt is a bit like spray firing at the target and out of the 200 bullets you will eventually get one on the bull's eye.
You spice up your resume and greatly exaggerate things on it. That exaggerated resume gets you interviews. You give ten interviews and get rejected by all those. But you learn and pick up trends among interviewers (i did). You keep interviewing and keep getting rejected until you hit the one interviewer who happens to ask just the right questions and you happen to have all the answers.
So rejections in terms of jobs is nothing more than shooting in the dark and missing. Nothing to shed a tear over.
As for friends, alhamdulillah that has never been a problem. I have been blessed by some amazing friends. Its kinda hard to imagine ever being rejected for just being friends :-S Unless ofcourse if i go up to somebody and go "HALLO HI DO YOU DO ARE YOU WANTING TO MAKING THE FRANDSHP"
i needed this kind of upbeat vibes today given by other people.its a nice feeling.as far as how i deal with rejection is concerned,i think time is the best healer.it hurts no doubt when you are rejected but after say a couple of days or even weeks things start to look better.
How would I deal with it? First you need to negate your self-doubts..and it gives you an opportunity to get closer to your creator. It gives you an opportunity to see the bigger picture and realize that the ONE making all the decisions is looking after you.
It helps me strenghten my faith and makes me realize that these sufferings are only temporary.
Like they say, "Pain makes me think. Thinking makes me wise...and wisdom makes me free".
Its not easy, takes time, but constant prayer will help you get through it. Tested, tried and worked!
do you guys think its a safe assumption to make that wrt friendships, women have a harder time than men making/keeping good friends?
No it is not. IMHO that depends purely on the individual, be it male or female. I've seen people of both sexes who have great friends and i've seen loners of both sexes.
PPL GROW UP.!!
IF YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR "ACTUAL SELF" IS., YOU WILL BE NEVER WORRIED OF GETTING REJECTED!!!!!!!
IF NO ONE WANTS YOU AROUND THEM, THEIR LOSS!!!!!!!
HOW EVER,
IF YOU GROOM ALL YOUR LIFE TO PRESENT YOUR SELF IN FRONT OF SOME ONE
ACCORDING TO "STANDARDS" SET IN DINOSAURS ERA;
AND
Its not an easy thing.. but maybe this was Allah's way of letting you knw that there is someone out there who is the best for u.. not letting it get to you might be a little hard at first but you have to be strong and let it pass..
its best not to get involved emotionally before any comittment is made.. I myself told my parents clearly that i wanted nothing to do with the guy before he was 100% sure that he was ok with my family and that he was willing to wait until we were engaged to start communicating.. and mA after a year of rejecting rishta's my parents came across a gem of a person.. and we're now happily married..
anyhow getting back to topic..
its tough but im sure that inside Allah only burdens us with problems He knows we can pull out of!~ :)
as far as we are not rejected by Allah, everything is fine. In the long run I think it's better for us and Allah knows best what we want, which relationships we can keep living, which job we can live and enjoy.
Of course it's unbelievable, but they say "sabr ka pall meetha hota hai"
