Re: Dealing with inlaws and still being sane and happy
Is there anyway you can become a 'role model' for the nieces? Maybe try a bit of bribery, show them a better style of life. Keep a distance from your jhaitani, she's probably jealous. Some backward village people act like that. They have nothing better to do then pick on things they cant have or wont do. If they dont want to change leave them to it. You have your own house, things could be worse, you could be living with them. That would be a right problem then. You have to remember your husband came from that house so its probably not as hard for him to fit in back to their way of life when u go visit, it probably doesnt bother him bcoz he's grown up in that atmosphere.
Personally i would maintain a distance, from them because a husband should safe guard his wife's respect especially if there's injustice being done against her. I dont particularly agree by the way your husband is staying silent. But if he's not going to help you then maybe u should stay away. When you do go to their house stay quiet, help around. Personally i hate it when im around jaahil people who have no respect, because jihalat is no excuse for lack of manners and respect anyway. My fathers side of the family are proper pind villagers but they understand giving respect and being respected oh and hygiene.
You cant change them if they are happy living int heir ignorance. Just concentrate on your own life with your own family and just carry out your islamic duties as a DIL and SIL.
Hope that helps