actually most of the saas bahu issues occurs coz either the saas is nt educated or bahu is more educated ... if 2 peeps frequency didnt match how can we expect tht the 2 will run together lik staying in same house under 1 roof ... n at the end of the husb was blamed n accused of the end result ... thts ridiculus ....:(
Stupidity can transcend even education. Even educated aunties who have lived for decades in the US.....can uphold narrow-minded beliefs and become insecure over a bahu.
A husband is "blamed" if he's not being fair. I know that a DIL needs to have patience and not turn every petty little issue into a battle. She can learn to let some things slide. And the same needs to be done by the MIL because she needs to keep in mind that the role of a wife can't be compared to the role of a mother as they are two different relationships. The MIL needs to understand that you can't compare the love a man has for his mom and his wife because they dynamics are soo different. And also that the DIL is a new member to the family......and will take time to adjust.
A husband needs to know what his wife's Islamic rights are over him. And be able to address delicate issues......with a fair and open mind. This does not mean he has to yell at Mommy and kick her out of the house. But....he can sit both parties down......set ground rules for conduct during discussion....listen to what each party is saying........acknowledge the feelings of both parties.......and help them reach a compromise by SUGGESTING solutions for both parties.