How does one deal with a backbiting campaign carried out against one by one’s “friends”?
How do you spot backbiting before it’s too late, i.e. before the target audiences of the vilification campaign start believing the things said against you?
Also, how do you deal with the extremely cunning form of backbiting where person A (your supposed friend) tells person B (your friend) that you have been backbiting about person B with other friends of person B?
Re: Dealing with backbiting
ignore
and if u dont want to lose tht friend...which i dont see why u would want tht..then i guess talk it out
we all sometimes make boo-boos..
and tht A B situation..i guess talk it out with A B together..where all 3 people are present together
Re: Dealing with backbiting
Oh I always confront em...meaning ask em that have you been saying that ...always puts them on notice to watch their mouths the next time...PS I do it very politely and diplomatically :)
Re: Dealing with backbiting
I'm a gori so what-the-heck do i know...but the way I'd handle it all is to get person-A AND person-B and a number of other friends together and air it all...."SO...person A, you said THIS about me, I thought I'd straighten THAT out before it turns into some really nasty gossip" etc etc. Then sit back and see what happens
Re: Dealing with backbiting
Oh I always confront em...meaning ask em that have you been saying that ...always puts them on notice to watch their mouths the next time...PS I do it very politely and diplomatically :)
Agreed.
Usually I'd say ignore it, but Iv'e seen someone very close to me almost loose a v. good friend bcoz of someone's backbiting... so yes, its best to sit with both persons A & B, and ask them to their face... most normal ppl aren't as proficient at lying at other ppl's face!
Re: Dealing with backbiting
i will encourage them :shoaby:
cuz i gonna get their sawab. 
Re: Dealing with backbiting
u forgot the part where the backbiter gets your gunnah as well
lekin loosing an acha doost isn’t a nice feeling either 
Re: Dealing with backbiting
lol…i tell them that do it, do it after me, and whenever you do it- do lemme know so i can leave and get your sawab and give you mine gunnah!
khud he chup ho ker beth jati hain 
and losing frndz, o come on!
well first i dont have any deadly secrets to be veiled where i gonna need frndz, as per you definition of frnd.
so ppl make me their frnds i dont. i help them in any way they want. otherwise for my own problems i directly talk to my mother and share with her.
and the teacher, and pray to ALLAH SWT to make it happen if its good for me.
otherwise you have to lose many things at some point in time.
p.s. btw i dont have frndz or i dont make frndz, who gonna die if i am not there.
-per tum, or (teen or frndz) sa-pay-shell ho 
Re: Dealing with backbiting
duffer, its not about ppl revieling “deadly secrets” about you… most ppl who backbite add mirch masala to stories to sound convincing… the stuff that was said about the “close” person above did NOT have an iota of truth in it…
and MA its good that u dont tell anyone stuff about yourself to others… I carry the same policy… family se behtar friends ko’e nahi hote… Ammi kehti haiN 
Re: Dealing with backbiting
I'm a gori so what-the-heck do i know...but the way I'd handle it all is to get person-A AND person-B and a number of other friends together and air it all...."SO...person A, you said THIS about me, I thought I'd straighten THAT out before it turns into some really nasty gossip" etc etc. Then sit back and see what happens
That's exactly how I deal with it, too. It works.
At any rate, if that doesn't work, then best that you cut off your friendship with them, and let them know that when they want to start behaving themselves again, your door is open.
Re: Dealing with backbiting
I have a friend who has been backbiting her friend a lot telling me that she'll cut off all contact with her and later I found out that she is still in touch with her - didnt really understand that a lot!
At the same time my friend told me some stuff about another person who has been my freind for a long time. She connected my friend's crap with her friend and told me to be careful with my friend and that she would never talk to her friend anymore...
sounds a bit childish yes but the stuff going on actually legitimated cutting off contact...
so what happened was that I backed off from my fried (who actually never contacted me anyways - not even to congratulate me for getting married!) anyways..and this person still is in touch with her friend...
when I found about that and reflected over things I found out that through the past many years this person has actually criticized all my friends in such extent that I didnt like them anymore....
I feel so stupid that she has effected me so much that I wasnt able to have my own opinion. I am now in contact with most of them but I dont talk about any friend in front my this friend who allways find faults in them....
Re: Dealing with backbiting
How does one deal with a backbiting campaign carried out against one by one's "friends"?
How do you spot backbiting before it's too late, i.e. before the target audiences of the vilification campaign start believing the things said against you?
Also, how do you deal with the extremely cunning form of backbiting where person A (your supposed friend) tells person B (your friend) that you have been backbiting about person B with other friends of person B?
If you know that someone is backbiting behind you than the entire purpose is lost and they are caught. The best thing to do is to talk to person close to you, your friend, relative and family members deserve an explanation. Do not let someone talk for you. When they are under confidence than the person who is having this campaingn against you will eventually get his/her moment of embarassment.