so folks plz help me by giving me your valuable advice. my mil is a control freak. she is constanty nagging me that i do all things wrongly.. she is just tooo bossy..
she gets so hysterical and does so much chid-chid with me.. like the way she speaks to her servants. she is all nice with her kids but when its abt me.. u cant figure out who she is talking to- me or the servant. i hate her attitude towardsss me..
i m not saying she is a bad woman.. she is nice when she is happy. but when she has any prob then i m the scapegoat. i hate telling this to my husband coz i dont want him to have any kind of resentment but i feel so bad.. sometimes i do explain her my points sternly to which def hurt her ego, but i dunno how to ask her to behave well with me..
as soon as i go in the kitchen morning she starts her list of yeh sahi nahi tha.. yeh galat kiya. gas theek se off nahi thi.. mujhe kuch hojata toh.. i was mad that day. i said i switched off the gas properly next time se i ll click a pic.. (my hubby comes late in the night so i m the last one to use the kitchen) to which she siad meri kya dushmani hai tumse.. jo jaan booj ke karungi and kahungi..
i did speak to my husband abt it, and he said ek kaan se suno aur dusre se nikal do.. but its not that eaasy being as sensitive as i am.. i dont always tell him coz he is shot tempered and i dont want to be the reason of any takraar between them both, but how do i help myself..
Happened to me once but not as badly. There r 2 things that shud b done.
1. Don't fight/argue bak. If she says sth just say "Jed acha" or "i forgot" or " I'll b careful next time" etc. n mean them. When u say things like "I ll click a pic next time" obviously that sounds rude n "moon phut". Mils don't like that kind of zuban tarazi.
2. Find her a distraction. Find her something else to pick on. Like get her to do a room makeover or sth.
Hope things get better for u.
When u say things like "I ll click a pic next time" obviously that sounds rude n "moon phut". Mils don't like that kind of zuban tarazi.
Noone likes that kind of a comeback, let alone a MIL. Its rude and condescending.
Its quite likely that you left the gas on by mistake. Mistakes happen.
Regardless, you need to realize the fact that you are a new addition to her life, and she is a new addition to yours. So long as you are living under the same roof, you will have to make adjustments. Most of our DILs and MILs go into a relationship with preconceived notions, which is what causes problems.
i know what i did was not right.. but believe me i have never said a word to her in the past 1.5 year.. i would just smile and ignore thnking things would turn better and that she would always think of me as a good dil-which i dont thnk is gonna happen no matter how hard i try...
but these days i m finding it really hard to have sabr and be quite... and its been getting worse the more time passes by..
i dont even like giving back answers but its becoming like the more i am being quite the worse its getting..
R u in isb? Meet up?
Re ur problem does she live wid u? This kind of toka taki generally happens when the other party thinks u don't know much and need guidance. R u new in town/country? Have u given them a "bholi bhali sidhi sadhi" bachi impression?
Mayb that's y she likes to tell u all the time.
U can do another thing. For time being just do everything her way n if u r not sure bout sth ask her.
It may help.
thanks everyone to all those who replied.. but i just wanted to share that What goes around comes around.. my husbands sis is in town as she is expecting.. now after seeing her behaviour chid chid and all with my mil.. i just felt what i said above.. my mil makes delicacies for her daughter who in turn just makes a face and says its nt good. all i can see on the mothers face is awkwardness and embarrassment.. yest sil was feeling tired so mil said it might be coz u came from shower so she haughtily replied.. thats just nonsense mummy. u must have bathed once an year i take showers everyday so its not that.. just dont say anything or everything.. i never feel good hearing all this., i def feel bad for mil.. coz shes and awesome mom.. but
i just thought that the reason she has been so bossy and nagging with me is because with her children she can never be.. they are in that shoes with her. so it just comes on me..
thanks everyone to all those who replied.. but i just wanted to share that What goes around comes around.. my husbands sis is in town as she is expecting.. now after seeing her behaviour chid chid and all with my mil.. i just felt what i said above.. my mil makes delicacies for her daughter who in turn just makes a face and says its nt good. all i can see on the mothers face is awkwardness and embarrassment.. yest sil was feeling tired so mil said it might be coz u came from shower so she haughtily replied.. thats just nonsense mummy. u must have bathed once an year i take showers everyday so its not that.. just dont say anything or everything.. i never feel good hearing all this., i def feel bad for mil.. coz shes and awesome mom.. but
i just thought that the reason she has been so bossy and nagging with me is because with her children she can never be.. they are in that shoes with her. so it just comes on me..
well now that you kind of have an idea of where she's coming from, you have the power to, I dunno, be a nice person and be more understanding and compassionate?