“There’s always the clients who come in a day or two after saying 'I can’t believe it, I made this beautiful dinner for my husband for Valentine’s Day, he called to say he was stuck in the office and then didn’t come home at all.”
Abramowitz said for a person who is being unfaithful to a spouse, the day can create problems that lead to them finally getting caught.
"The person who is cheating is caught in the middle; they have to satisfy the spouse and their lover, and more often than not that's an impossible feat to achieve," he said.
There are vast majority of those who live happily or reconcile their differences without celebrating this day.
It is the high expecations which celebrating a day put on people’s minds… which eventually leads to outburst…its like setting a standard and testing other person.
Any other day if husband does not come home for dinner, usually not such a big problem.
And if you honestly believe that this was the reason for the divorce, you need to get a reality check. There might have been more fundamental issues and this would have been just the triggering point.
Yes. High expectations sets up for potential failure if problems were already brewing.
Isn’t that what I said?
The expectations brings a test for other person and if for any reason other person fails, that ‘triggers’ the final break up.
Here are a little more explanations.
1- There is selective bias. Those who tend to celebrate this seriously are already kinda emotionally driven people. They take these events as if this is how love should be expressed.
2- A lot of people who do not take these events seriously have a mature look on the life and relationship.
3- Almost every relationship has ups and downs and it takes mature people to reconcile on regular basis.
4- Then there are emotional people who think chocolate, flower, diamond or whatever small or big gift ..has to be exchanged to show love.
5- When these ‘material’ expectations are not met, they feel rejected.
Hence they go for the irrational decision.
Fortunately these kind of people are not in majority.
like we shouldnt just call allah SWT when we are praying or need help in something. we should Always remember HIM SWT and HIS SWT’s blessings, similarly we should not have particular days to acknowledge the things that are important for us. If husband and wife relationship is important for us, we must keep it your priority.
I have lost interest in birthdays :(…i barely remember them and if I see the notifications on fb, I skip em. for me its not important when was I born, rather, why??? :sigh:
bas kuch bhi..
and if I see the notifications on fb, I skip em. for me its not important when was I born, rather, why??? :sigh: