anybody go to a davat and “help” out? or u are forced to help out?
As a host, do you have ur guests cme and help u out?
or does it depend on the guest/host, i.e., if tis a family member its ok if they help vs a stranger?
Re: dawats
I dont like anyone coming into my kitchen for any reason :snooti: neither i like to go to others’
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If someone asks for help,or looks like they are stuggling, then i'll gladly help, be it stranger or family.
I don't like others in my kitchen, it's difficult as it is for me being a lame cook, i don't need others hovering around me....
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i go to someone's house to relax. if i wanted to do work i'd stay home :D
i dont like anyone in my ktichen, so i wudn't think of asking someone to help, even if they offered.
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If it is a close relative I will go to the kitchen and help without asking, as most often it is needed and I know my aunties do not like to ask and would rather struggle on their own accord. If I am dressed up nice I am often exempted but I still do something:D
If it is someone who I don't know too well, I will maybe ask but not make a beeline for their kitchen.
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I always help with clean up and dishes after dinner, that way I can pack myself some leftovers hehhee. If the dinner party is at my place I'll ask for help but not in the kitchen, I don't like it when people hover while i'm cooking!
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i hate helping, and i hate when others try to help too :S
but my mom always makes me help or at least offer :(
i like it better when i can be a simple guest
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I always helped. BUT lately, I have been choosy of WHOM I want to help.
I usually do not allow my guests to even pick up anything - because that's the way I want to be with my guest! BUT HOWEVER I DO like them to "offer" help. I like it if they come forward and try to help out - and I like to say THANKS but no thanks... and lead them to relaxing room. :D
HOWEVER - when I found out that when I went to this particular family's home they would expect me to do the dishes after all men were done eating. This is a BIG NO NO if you invite someone over. What I did not like was the aunt has daughters old enough to be married but she would tell them ahead of time NOT to do the dishes and let guests help out with that. =(
So I noticed that those girls would just stand in the kitchen and stay away from the sink area.
I helped out few times, but every time they would come over to my place they would NOT pick a fork!
so I said to hell with you guys! You get what you give!
andI have stopped helping this particular family. Last time I saw the AUNTY looking at me - as if she was gonna pull my hair off for not OFFERING to help - lol - and her daughter had to start washing up the dishes.
I don't like it when people think they CAN take advantage of you.
Having said this - I REALLY REALLY REALLY am for helping. I love to help while we chit chat the night away. But definitely - do not take me for granted.
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I don't normally accept help, unless it is inevitable, cos it gets crazy in the kitchen then. I do like people to offer and help themselves where they can, like I get a guest sometimes who orders around not just me but everyone else, like it's a duty to serve her highness, be it her place or anyone else'. I like to help but like NJm said, I don't like to be taken advantage of.
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It really does depend on whose house I am in and how close I am to those people. Usually, I will go in the kitchen, ask if theres anything I can do and just help out OR if I know someones struggling then I will offer to do the dishes or whatever.
When people come to our house, its sweet when they insist on helping and some do, others we tell to leave it and they RUN to go sit back down 
It doesn’t really matter to be honest, because we have enough hands in the kitchen anyway alhumdulillah.. but yeah, it is nice when they want to do it.
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Exactly it just depends where i am..... normally i always help. After dinner just get up and start washing the plates etc.. but sumwhere unkown like friends or sumthing, it just depends whether they want me to or not..
My mum always had us daughters (4 of us) to help in the kitchen, so we never needed anyone else's help. But if the size of the dawat was big (60+ people) - some of the aunties would usually come in to the kitchen to help out. We always encouraged my mum to sit and entertain her guests and us girls would look after the kitchen - including warming, serving and washing up afterwards.
Now with my sisters in their own homes and with their entertaining, it depends. If the dawat if for "bahar waley" then no - they don't get their guests to help - again, the sisters all pitch in. But recently (and I seriously recommend this if you've got a few extra dollars) they will prepare all of the food ahead of time and will hire someone to come in and make sure that all the serving dishes are always full and heated and then clean up afterwards. This is a great help - it allows the host to enjoy her guests' company as opposed to being stuck in the kitchen all evening. I love this because my outfits don't ruined as was inevitably the case in the past.
Oh and as for helping out when I'm at someone else's place for a dawat - people are so used to seeing my mum's girls in the kitchen it would seem weird if I didn't offer to help. Although, I limit my help to serving and clearing the dishes - I won't wash dishes at anyone else's place :)
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oh NJ...they sound evil...
i help out at myrelatives house, i dnt mind. in fact i enjoy it...plus id rather they think of me as active, and not a lazy sod..
i have alot of cusins who dnt lift a finger, and people talk...
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I half heartedly offer. If they say "oh no no" - I quickly go back and enjoy the party :)
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so i guess im the odd one out, or the lazyass one... cz wherever i went i NEVER offered to ehlp out. much to someone's annoyance :D
^ If familiar guests behave like u sara, I don't like to invite them again, especially if I go to their home and help out in the past, lord lazy lumps!
I'm one of those offer to help anyone types, but if unfamiliar ppl r round, I don't want them to help me, however, if they r familiar I sometimes ask them to get of the backsides and help out if no offers are forthcoming. Not bcos I can't do it myself, but then I have someone to chat with.
I offer to help out at both my relative's as well as strange aunty's. Most of the time I'm hesitant cuz I don't want nihari stains on my clothes.. :(